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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to bleach my vagina!

65 replies

SemiNormal · 07/07/2016 21:13

About a month ago my sons teacher informed me he had an itchy bottom! It could well be that he hadn't wiped properly after pooing (he's only 5yrs) but as a precaution I wormed us both (and re-treated 2weeks later).

Last week he was itching again. Checked for worms and saw white bits on his bottom, could have been worms, could have been bits of tissue from wiping. Again I treated us both. Two nights ago my bum itched, could have been a normal itch but in a panic I treated myself AGAIN. In the process I've given myself cystitis. Anyway now I've done the worst thing and Googled and read they can move to the vagina ..... WTAF, vagina worms! I'm completely freaking out, it's bad enough to think they may be in my bottom but in my vag, urgh, AIBU to want to bath my bits in bleach?! Headlice I could deal with but worms, hell no! I've turned into a paranoid monster insisting on handwashing every hour and cleaning everything a million times.

Can someone tell me it's normal to feel so freaked out by worms? I'm worried we won't get rid of them (that's if they are indeed there).

OP posts:

Thisismyalias · 07/07/2016 21:16

About a month ago my sons teacher informed me he had an itchy bottom i was gonna say that they've overshared.

Yeah cunt worms are a thing.

fuzzywuzzy · 07/07/2016 21:16

Go to your GP (preferably before you bleach your vagina)

TattiePants · 07/07/2016 21:17

Your son's teacher told you he had an itchy bottom!! I get on pretty well with my kids teachers but we are definitely not that close.

LordyMe · 07/07/2016 21:17

About a month ago my sons teacher informed me he had an itchy bottom

I had to read that twice....

WorraLiberty · 07/07/2016 21:17

The itchy bottomed teacher is only 5 years old?

My, they start them young these days

Gunpowder · 07/07/2016 21:18

I'm relieved this isn't a new-fangled beauty treatment.

Worms really freak me out too! It's so irrational. Apparently it's good for your immune system to get them which makes me feel better. I read that eating lots of raw grated carrot and garlic dissuades them.

Gunpowder · 07/07/2016 21:18

Oh and sunflower seeds I think... Will google.

ShatnersBassoon · 07/07/2016 21:19

I thought this thread was going to involve Dean Gaffney.

Get to the doctors and have them do the foraging for you. They should be able to spot any unwelcome visitors and know how best to treat them.

Original poster

SemiNormal · 07/07/2016 21:21

Oh dear!! Well possible sons teacher may now have an itchy bottom too

Raw carrot I can do but not sure I want to stink of garlic and have an itchy vag too! Parenthood is so attractive!

OP posts:

Original poster

SemiNormal · 07/07/2016 21:22

Dean Gaffney ....hmmm, not sure which is worse to have on ones vagina, Dean Gaffney or worms

OP posts:

MunchCrunch01 · 07/07/2016 21:34

it's at times like this I retreat into woo cures - priobiotics, pumpkin seeds and general strengthening of the microbiome. And history - remember that everyone in ye olden times had worms all the the time. Seriously though, i think this is an embarrassing situation you're going to have to have with your Dr!

Asprilla11 · 07/07/2016 21:34

Dean Gaffney ....hmmm, not sure which is worse to have on ones vagina, Dean Gaffney or worms

Depends if 'Well 'Ard' is with him!

peachpudding · 07/07/2016 21:37

Arent they good for dieting? They use up energy and help you slim.

Original poster

SemiNormal · 07/07/2016 21:41

Seriously though, i think this is an embarrassing situation you're going to have to have with your Dr! would a Dr check though or just prescribe something after given them a run down of the symptoms? I'd rather a smear test than someone I'm not even on first name terms with poking about my butt hole

OP posts:

Minceybits · 07/07/2016 21:46

I don't think they live in the vagina, they just, erm, visit and hang out there for a bit when they come out of the bottom. There isn't a food source for them. If you have treated twice in the proper way (two week gap to stop the cycle usually) it should clear up .

If you are getting re-infected you need to do the whole hot wash on towels and linen, hoovering throughly, separate hand towels and a regular bum and bits wash each morning. and cut fingernails short. I am not clear what the Dr will find in daylight as they tend to come out at bedtime when its darker - if indeed they are willing to look at all . You have to approach the bottom in question with stealthy speed in the dark with a torch! Also I think cutting back on sugary foods helps. School really should send a letter out to say that worms are going round, but having that conv with a school secretary will be interesting.

You can put a large smear of vaseline on the perineum between bum-hole and vagina which should stop them travelling/wriggling and itching (I think its the egg laying tho that causes the itching? Gruuuuuee.

I had worms AND nits once on holiday when the kids were small - it was like they all wanted to come along for the fun - but asking for both treatments at the naice chemist in a tiny Norfolk village was, somewhat embarrassing. Bleargh.

Why do I know this much about threadworms?

pearlylum · 07/07/2016 21:47

Does anyone else feel their bum itch reading this thread?

Beeziekn33ze · 07/07/2016 21:49

Let your GP advise you. That's what they are trained and paid for.

Mommyneedsgin · 07/07/2016 21:49

pearly my bum and my foof.

janethegirl2 · 07/07/2016 21:51

I think I've said this before but when my dcs were at primary school, I worked them every 6 months irrespective. A large percentage of under 10s will have worms at any given time. An adult, without any treatment but using good hygiene practices, will get clear within 6 weeks ie by not reinfecting themselves.

Original poster

SemiNormal · 07/07/2016 21:53

I don't think they live in the vagina, they just, erm, visit and hang out there for a bit when they come out of the bottom Ohhh gawd, it really is grim isn't it! I feel genuinely ill thinking about it.

I haven't been itchy, it was itchy just once last night but maybe it's because I'm hyper alert about itching that I took note of it.

The school are aware of the worms because apparently someone in reception had them a couple of months back, I do wish they'd send letters out, then the whole school could do a worming day so all the kids and their families were treated at once (wishful thinking).

I've just read that diatomaceous earth can shift them so might try that tomorrow, have a lot of the food grade stuff for killing ants in the garden - will read up on side effects first I think. Apparently one side effect of Ovex is bedwetting so I may wake up in a puddle of my own piss in the morning, something else to look forward to!

OP posts:

gamerchick · 07/07/2016 21:53

Man, worms and headlice. That's pure unlucky that!

It's true, they don't live up there. They go home after. If you are being reinfected then it's likely you have eggs around the house. Babywipe all door handles, light switches, remotes, controllers, keyboards etc etc and Hoover to an inch of its life. Damp dust with babywipes everywhere. Make child wash hands straight from school and make sure nails are clean and short.

gamerchick · 07/07/2016 21:55

Take some babywipes and a bag to bed. If you itch in bed, wipe with a wipe and put in the bag. It's the glue that causes the itching.

Original poster

SemiNormal · 07/07/2016 21:55

An adult, without any treatment but using good hygiene practices, will get clear within 6 weeks ie by not reinfecting themselves. - this fills me with hope! I read a horrid nasty article earlier that stated once you have them then you have them for life and the best you can hope for is to keep the population of them down, I cried!

OP posts:

Gazelda · 07/07/2016 21:56

Can someone explain the Dean Gaffney reference?

Shakey15000 · 07/07/2016 21:59

Oh FGS I have only just realised that Gaffney's dog being called Wellard was a reference to well, well hard

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