To take ds to Lapland and not dd!

[Wilberforce2]

Ds is nearly 8 and I fear that this could be our last year of him believing, I've always wanted to go to Lapland and so has he but we could never afford it. I was looking yesterday and realised we could actually afford for me and ds to go this year (just as a day trip). I also have dd who is 2 and as well as not being able to afford for all of us to go I just don't think she is old enough to appreciate it.

My idea was that dd stays home with dh for the day and I will take ds to Lapland. Dh thinks this is awful and can't believe I would take ds somewhere so special and leave dd out! He wants to wait until next year to give us a chance to save up and then the 4 of us can go together (dd will be 3.5 by then).

I'm still not convinced that 3.5 is a good age to go and I really want to take ds while the magic of Santa is still there, he already asks far too many questions! I said we could take dd when she is 5 or 6 and will really appreciate it, by that time ds will be 11/12.

Am I terrible for thinking of leaving dd behind for one day?

Sorry first world problems I know!!

DS#1 did a coming of age trip when he hit puberty, DS#2 didn't go. He remembered for a long time and looked forward to it. His trip was equally special to him when it was his turn. You can tell DD that she will get to go when she is "big".

So long as DD (and DH!) get to go when she is older it is completely fair.

We do loads of things separately - the kids love 1 on 1 attention. Yes we keep a rough tally of fairness but as each have different likes it's not always the same thing.
If you can afford it and can plan to do something special with DD later (Lapland or equal) then I say go for it.

I feel more sorry for your DH than DD. You feel like you might miss out on the last "year of believing" if you don't go this year, but DH will definitely miss out on it. Dads like these things too!
(Oh, and when I found out that Santa wasn't real at age six, I still pretended for my mums sake cause she used to be so excited for us kids about Santa coming etc etc. Didn't have the heart to tell her I knew... At eight he probably already has an inkling (at best!).... Some mean kid at school always tells!!)

It's not mean for a child to tell other children Santa isn't real. It's one of the most delusional bits of childhood.

Your DH wants to come too, that's the issue, which is fair enough I guess.

Erica "delusional" is a bit harsh. There's plenty of life in which the realities can be rung home hard, why not let them enjoy some make believe whilst they're young?

It's more than make believe though. It's like a cult to many some people.

We don't do Santa, DD has shunned the tooth fairy but there's loads and loads of make believe in our house!

It's a lovely idea. Bonding time for just you and your son and no your daughter won't have a clue! I wouldn't take my toddler anywhere like that, it's too much effort and pointless. 4+ is ideal.

Go!! Life is too short - go create a special memiry with your son and start saving to do the same with your daughter when she's a similar age. It'll be an amazing 1:1 time for the two of you. She's 2 - it'd be an ordeal for her now not a pleasure

Yanbu. Lapland for ds, peppa pig world for dd?

Why not send DS & DH together. You wait and go with DD?

In an ideal world both parents would go both times but I'm not sure that in a few years 3 of you could go leaving DS.

Can you do a day trip? Is it not in Finland or something like that?

I think it's OKnto take your DS by himself but it would probably be nicer to go as a family

I did a day trip and it's quite knackering! Pretty full on all day, rushing to fit all the activities in.

If I went again I'd go for a few days at least.

I think its fair enough as long as you just take dd when she is 7/8. My parents did this - set trips at set ages and the ylunger ones really looked forward to their turn. Part of the appeal was having Mum to ourselves