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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take ds to Lapland and not dd!

139 replies

Wilberforce2 · 07/07/2016 14:08

Ds is nearly 8 and I fear that this could be our last year of him believing, I've always wanted to go to Lapland and so has he but we could never afford it. I was looking yesterday and realised we could actually afford for me and ds to go this year (just as a day trip). I also have dd who is 2 and as well as not being able to afford for all of us to go I just don't think she is old enough to appreciate it.

My idea was that dd stays home with dh for the day and I will take ds to Lapland. Dh thinks this is awful and can't believe I would take ds somewhere so special and leave dd out! He wants to wait until next year to give us a chance to save up and then the 4 of us can go together (dd will be 3.5 by then).

I'm still not convinced that 3.5 is a good age to go and I really want to take ds while the magic of Santa is still there, he already asks far too many questions! I said we could take dd when she is 5 or 6 and will really appreciate it, by that time ds will be 11/12.

Am I terrible for thinking of leaving dd behind for one day?

Sorry first world problems I know!!

OP posts:
Ericaequites · 07/07/2016 18:57

I like Christmas, but Santa is just a marketing thing now. My folks never took any of us to see Santa. The whole Santa worship doesn't make any sense. It's bad practice to deceive children and wind them up over a non existent concept. For the same reasons, I hate Elf on the Shelf even more.

Snowflakes1122 · 07/07/2016 18:57

I know my kids would enjoy it all the more with each other. Wouldn't do it myself.

EveOnline2016 · 07/07/2016 18:57

I would and then take dd at that age.

LittleReindeerwithcloggson · 07/07/2016 18:58

I think there's nothing wrong at all with taking just your son but I would either wait last minute or book early for next year purely for price. At the beginning of December last year they were offering last minute (leave the week after!) 3 night breaks half board for a family of 4 for £1300. That's a lot cheaper than a lot of day trips. They were also doing mega deals for this year if you booked early January.

LittleReindeerwithcloggson · 07/07/2016 19:00

That price was for all 4 btw not each and was around 80% off

squoosh · 07/07/2016 19:20

' It's bad practice to deceive children and wind them up over a non existent concept.'

Zzzzz.....

I thought the oh so boring 'it's cruel to let your kids believe in Santa' threads didn't start until late October/early November.

I blame Brexit.

NeedACleverNN · 07/07/2016 19:24

Oh give over Erica

You are only a child once. Nothing wrong with believing in Santa, the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny or toys that come alive.

It's encouraging their imagination

SouperSal · 07/07/2016 19:41

Not at all necessary to "encourage imagination". DD has shunned Santa forever and wants nothing to do with the tooth fairy. Her imagination is amazing.

zad716 · 07/07/2016 19:45

It sounds like your dh would be hurt and feel left out if he is left behind too. I don't think it's fair that just you and ds get to do such a magical thing.

I was wondering about this too. Maybe he would be happier with DD not going if it was him taking DS to Lapland instead.

Natsku · 07/07/2016 19:46

Oh God, I don't "do" Father Christmas properly, or do tooth fairy at all but a visit to see the old man is still bloody great, and none of its necessary to encourage imagination or have a wonderful Christmas or whatnot. Its all good either way.

squoosh · 07/07/2016 19:49

Don't worry about her DH, he can take DS on another magical trip. There's a great pencil museum in the Lake District. Magical in anyone's book.

Mycraneisfixed · 07/07/2016 20:06

Take DS now while it still holds magic for him. He'll also enjoy it being just the two of you. DH can take DD somewhere while you're awayGrin

MunchCrunch01 · 07/07/2016 20:09

which company are you looking at - thompson's is quoting me £1000 for 20 Dec from Glasgow (totally now hooked on the idea of taking dd1 to lapland)

Madeyemoodysmum · 07/07/2016 21:33

Agree about the cold. The only place I've been colder was Canada. We went late Nov as well before it got really cold. A toddler would struggle and also would they be able to tell you they were cold. Hands and feet especially.

MillieMoodle · 07/07/2016 21:37

DH and I went to Lapland in 2009, long before we had DS. At that time they didn't recommend it for children under 5 due to the cold. Your DD won't know where you are for the day so I'd take DS and then take DD when she's older.

Enkopkaffetak · 07/07/2016 21:58

I would go with your ds take dd later .

We took dd1 and 2 to Disney in Paris when they were 8 and 6 a few years later we took ds and dd3 age 9 and 7 2 very different trips but both of them enjoyed it and have wonderful memories of their trips. DS remembers spending the days with our friend (dd3 was to young) he had a great time with then best friend. DD2 and 1 spent the 3 days with niece and her then boyfriend and had alovely time Not one of them feel we did wrong in taking them 2 and 2

Treating your children equally does not mean treating them the same.

Eurovision · 07/07/2016 22:17

Took my two and three year old to florida at easter. Two year old has no memory of it at all. Three year is upset we can't go back as we have eaten all the American biscuits and she wants to buy more. Meeting anna and elsa after queuing for an hour is less memorable than a biscuit. Stick with taking the older child as the two year old will get tired and grumpy and then forget everything anyway.

deste · 07/07/2016 22:27

I took my eight year old DD many years ago and she loved it but I would never take a two year old because it was just so so cold. It really isn't suitable for a two year old as she wouldn't appreciate it at all. My DD still remembers it but if she had been two I doubt she would. I think it's a place that should be a lasting memory.

bippitybopityboo · 07/07/2016 22:33

I don't think you're being U at all however I think the experience would be most magical to share as a family but that's just my opinion Smile

MyMurphy · 07/07/2016 22:35

Ah no, you can't let your DH miss out on seeing your DS s face! He will miss out completely! Shock

AmysTiara · 07/07/2016 22:40

I agree with you OP.

LittleReindeerwithcloggson · 07/07/2016 22:48

Was discussing this thread with a friend who went on a day trip last year and they strongly advise against a day trip and it is a very long day for little time there. Especially if the flight is delayed even slightly. In their opinion it would be far better to save to have at least 2 nights there.

Waterlemon · 07/07/2016 22:50

We took the DC to lapland and it was truly amazing but I wouldn't take a toddler or any child under 5.

There were lots of very fed up and worn out parents dragging tantruming toddlers through the snow on sledges. Its bloody hard work getting all the snow gear on - particulary when the child is little and has no independencey skills to help with the dressing. The snow is fun to begin with but toddlers quickly get over it,

I would go with DS and then take dd when she I'd older

Original poster
Wilberforce2 · 08/07/2016 00:18

Thanks so much everyone, sorry I haven't come back sooner.

Spoke to dh earlier and he said that after doing some googling at work he can see that it isn't a good idea for dd until she is at least 5, I'm not sure he realised how much of a physical day it would be. He has assured me 100% that he doesn't mind not going with ds and if we do book it he is going to take dd to see Santa on the same day so we all have the same thing to talk about the day after!

Ds absolutely still believes and I think something major would have to happen to change his mind in the next 5 months.

So I think we are going to look at prices etc over the weekend and see what kind of trip would be the best, very excited now and it's only July!! x

OP posts:
noisyrice · 08/07/2016 03:21

Surely even if your ds doesn't believe in the big red man, if you saved up enough all to go next year or even the next, you can explain to your son that it's part of the family magic of Christmas, etc.

Imagine all 4 of you going and seeing the cutesy Christmas stuff, the kids face lighting up, etc