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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take ds to Lapland and not dd!

139 replies

Wilberforce2 · 07/07/2016 14:08

Ds is nearly 8 and I fear that this could be our last year of him believing, I've always wanted to go to Lapland and so has he but we could never afford it. I was looking yesterday and realised we could actually afford for me and ds to go this year (just as a day trip). I also have dd who is 2 and as well as not being able to afford for all of us to go I just don't think she is old enough to appreciate it.

My idea was that dd stays home with dh for the day and I will take ds to Lapland. Dh thinks this is awful and can't believe I would take ds somewhere so special and leave dd out! He wants to wait until next year to give us a chance to save up and then the 4 of us can go together (dd will be 3.5 by then).

I'm still not convinced that 3.5 is a good age to go and I really want to take ds while the magic of Santa is still there, he already asks far too many questions! I said we could take dd when she is 5 or 6 and will really appreciate it, by that time ds will be 11/12.

Am I terrible for thinking of leaving dd behind for one day?

Sorry first world problems I know!!

OP posts:
Madeyemoodysmum · 07/07/2016 14:54

We went when ds was 5 and dD was 7. They both loved it. In your situation I think I would go now with ds and go again in 5 years with all of you. Ds will still enjoy seeing gthe magic through his sister eyes and there's enough he could enjoy too. Snow. Sledging huskies etc.

ThinkPinkStink · 07/07/2016 14:54

I think it's really important for children to get quality alone time with parent(s) now and then - I know I used to love having my mum's full attention for the day.

And it's a lovely new tradition that DD can enjoy when she's old enough: 'when you're 7 or 8, you can go with mummy to Lapland to meet Father Christmas for the day'...I can imagine both kids doing the same with their kids when they grow up... lovely!!

The only worry I'd have is that it'd be a long and tiring day (likely with an early flight).

daisychain01 · 07/07/2016 14:55

I'd go when you can afford to take both DC.

There is no guarantee your DS won't cotton to FC being a complete fraud peddled by John Lewis etc long before you fly to Lapland.

He'll still enjoy it even if he does know the truth, I wouldn't base your decision on him being (or not being) a FC-beleiber, life is too unpredictable!

banivani · 07/07/2016 14:57

There are day trips to Lapland??? From the UK? I live in Sweden and wouldn't dream of a day trip to fecking Lapland. :O it's so far! I would no way in hell take a 2yo on a day trip there anyway, wouldn't you spend all your time travelling? which would be too hard on a small child.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 07/07/2016 14:57

If it's a one day trip I would take DS by himself this year - another year and he will be having doubts - whereas pretty sure your DD wil get more out of it later? Though as your DH reacted badly not sure if you can talk him round.

Meeep · 07/07/2016 14:57

I've got the same age gap and I say do it! If you wait until next year it won't work as well for your son.

NKFell · 07/07/2016 14:59

I think do it! Your DD's time will come.

daisychain01 · 07/07/2016 15:00

Going there and back in a day is the stuff of madness! Why?
Much better to do an overnight or weekend surely?

LauraVonSlim · 07/07/2016 15:00

I would take your son now, and your daughter when she's 6/7. I think there is nothing wrong with doing special things with your children separately. Can be very healthy. And treating your children fairly, doesn't always mean treating them the same.

squoosh · 07/07/2016 15:04

Take your son and have a lovely time! Being fair doesn't have to mean doing the same thing with both at the same time. Can you got to Lapland on a day trip though??

Headofthehive55 · 07/07/2016 15:05

Just thought I'd add, we did Lapland hen one if our was nearly 2. Don't if at all possible. Lots for older kids to do, still magical, my teens enjoyed it just as much.

Madeyemoodysmum · 07/07/2016 15:07

We went for 4 nights and stayed at the Santa Claus holiday village and got our own flights. It was £1500 all in. I took my own food for lunches. Pasta and sauce as the cabin have a kitchenette and we ate in a cafe at night. We had b&b for breakfast. Loved it. Memories and money well spent.

alohaimnew · 07/07/2016 15:10

hi,

I just bought tickets to lapland UK this year for myself, husband and 2.5 year old - i will have a newborn as well but he/she goes free. I hope my dd will understand - mind you, i have been talking about santa for about a year now to her and she loves him! She sings jingle bells all the time (im christmas mad and from the looks of things she will be too!!) If you think your DD wont enjoy it/understand it then i dont think its an issue at all, go with DS and enjoy yourselves!

x

HuskyLover1 · 07/07/2016 15:12

If money is tight, meaning that you can only afford 2 tickets, then I don't think it's fair for only half of the family to get that experience.

At a push, I'd leave dd with grandparents and the three of you go to Lapland.

When you say you will take dd when she is older, I do hope you aren't planning to leave ds behind, because at 11/12 yrs old, that would be a total slap in the face.

Personally, I'd arrange something that you can all do together.

MrBoot · 07/07/2016 15:20

I have a two year old and honestly while she might like some of the day, she would probably nap during the more important bits. It would just all be too much for her and she would get irritable and unreasonable and require far too much attention that could otherwise be spent watching your son's enjoyment. I also think 3.5 yrs would be too young. Everyone I know who has gone (not many) say five or six is the perfect age to go.

But.....it doesn't matter what a bunch of random strangers on the internet say. If your DH is against the idea and wants to all go together as a family, then that is what needs to happen to keep everyone happy.

Mamabear14 · 07/07/2016 15:21

Having been to Lapland with my 2 boys I would say a 2yr old just wouldn't cope with the sheer coldness. We did excursions and my eyelashes, inside of my nose etc all froze. It was -24! I have since had dd and will take her at around 6. Any younger I just think it's too much.

squoosh · 07/07/2016 15:24

'When you say you will take dd when she is older, I do hope you aren't planning to leave ds behind, because at 11/12 yrs old, that would be a total slap in the face. Personally, I'd arrange something that you can all do together.'

There's always someone ready to be outraged at something that may or may not happen in three years time! Grin

Groovee · 07/07/2016 15:25

We've done Lapland as a day trip and it was a very long day. My friend's auntie was on the trip with her eldest and left her toddler at home with her husband.

As long as dd gets it when she's older, I can't see an issue. Mine were 9 and 7 when we went and it was very magical.

Girlsinthegarden · 07/07/2016 15:33

No way would I take a two year old. Go and enjoy a special day with your DS.

I know a family who only took one twin to Disney Land. Now that was shitty.

squoosh · 07/07/2016 15:35

Majorly shitty Girls! Shock

user1467101855 · 07/07/2016 15:37

When you say you will take dd when she is older, I do hope you aren't planning to leave ds behind, because at 11/12 yrs old, that would be a total slap in the face

No it wouldn't, since he'd already have been.

Some of you have really weird ideas about fairness.

dailymaillazyjournos · 07/07/2016 15:38

We took dd when she was 9. There were lots of toddlers accompanying older siblings. A lot of them were cold and miserable during outdoor activities. If you can just take Ds I would do that. It's not a trip geared to the very young imo.

ExitPursuedByABear · 07/07/2016 15:38

Just take your DS.

My DD remembers jack shit of all the things I used to do with her when she was tiny.

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 07/07/2016 15:40

As long as the later trip is just you or dh and dd I don't see an issue.

We took ds1 when he was 4 but we only had the one child then. We them took ds2 when he was 4 and later on dd when she was 4.

grumpysquash · 07/07/2016 15:41

Take your DS. Your DD can have a special day with DH (e.g. going out and buying a helium balloon).

In a few years, your DD and DH can go to Lapland and you can take DS to the cinema.

Things don't have to be at the same point in time to be fair!