Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take ds to Lapland and not dd!

139 replies

Wilberforce2 · 07/07/2016 14:08

Ds is nearly 8 and I fear that this could be our last year of him believing, I've always wanted to go to Lapland and so has he but we could never afford it. I was looking yesterday and realised we could actually afford for me and ds to go this year (just as a day trip). I also have dd who is 2 and as well as not being able to afford for all of us to go I just don't think she is old enough to appreciate it.

My idea was that dd stays home with dh for the day and I will take ds to Lapland. Dh thinks this is awful and can't believe I would take ds somewhere so special and leave dd out! He wants to wait until next year to give us a chance to save up and then the 4 of us can go together (dd will be 3.5 by then).

I'm still not convinced that 3.5 is a good age to go and I really want to take ds while the magic of Santa is still there, he already asks far too many questions! I said we could take dd when she is 5 or 6 and will really appreciate it, by that time ds will be 11/12.

Am I terrible for thinking of leaving dd behind for one day?

Sorry first world problems I know!!

OP posts:
3perfectweemen · 07/07/2016 16:33

You kno best op. I would agree with you. Take your son and enjoy I'm sure the two year old will be oblivious you are away and her dad can spoil her at home. Plus toddlers take so much time from older siblings it be nice for ds to have quality time :)

KateLivesInEngland · 07/07/2016 16:47

I have been to Lapland. A two year old (and a 3.5yr old for that matter) will find it too overwhelming. It's a bloody hard day, let me tell you!!
I think you should go with your son and take your daughter in a few years. By then DS will be a non believer and won't be interested anyway.
I took a four year old and she was only just old enough IMO. You're walking through snow that's above ankle on you and knee on them, it's a lot more physically challenging than you think and you'll be carrying the two year old all day.
Strollers + deep snow = ha, yeah! HmmIt's not an option.

Horsemad · 07/07/2016 17:24

Take them separately - then YOU get to go twice Grin

Seriously, 2yrs old is too young. Mine were 6.5 and 5 when we went, which was a good age imo.

KC225 · 07/07/2016 17:47

Another one for taking your son this year and DD later on. It's way too much for a 2 year old.

Not every single thing has to done as a family. I love, love love our family outings but a one on one outing or trip is a special little treat.

Hope you and your son have a wonderful time

Ericaequites · 07/07/2016 17:55

My parents didn't care for the whole Santa concept. We lecture children on stranger danger, then want them to have their picture taken with a stranger dressed as Santa. Don't go to Lapland. Save the money instead.

squoosh · 07/07/2016 17:57

Well hello there Grinch!

Horsemad · 07/07/2016 17:59

FGS Ericaequites! Hmm

arethereanyleftatall · 07/07/2016 17:59

Only read first page, but saw the, really bizarre, 'that's a shitty thing to do' comment, and had to post.

Do it.

It's a great idea, I love 121 time with my children, doing an age appropriate thing. It's really special.

Horsemad · 07/07/2016 18:00

It is a really fab experience, my two still talk about it and they are late teens now. Smile

Aeroflotgirl · 07/07/2016 18:03

Wait another year, and take both of them, your ds will still be young, even if he finds out about Santa, it will still be a magical trip.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/07/2016 18:04

There always has to be one, boring party pooper, Erica you boring joyless person you!

Loubylouchirino · 07/07/2016 18:06

YANBU. I have three children aged 11, 9 & 6. I weigh my days and weekends out with them against cost and whether they'd get much from it and often take them out seperately (last year, I took my two daughters separately for a weekend to London for a show & sightseeing, and took my son to Scarborough for a proper seaside break). My kids absolutely LOVE the break with "just mummy" and when life is hectic, I think that having that one to one time with each of them is a lovely way to really enjoy spending time together.

Justbeingnosey123 · 07/07/2016 18:08

My only word of warning is what happens if in a few years you can't afford to take your DD. Then although I know it won't have been on purpose it will be a bad situation all round

squoosh · 07/07/2016 18:09

Well that's no way to live is it? Wondering 'what if we're living in a shoe in 4 years time?'

arethereanyleftatall · 07/07/2016 18:11

When we go out as a family of 4, I talk to dh quite a lot, the dc argue a bit, nothing is completely suitable for both ages etc etc.
When you go out with one parent/one child, the focus is all on each other, the activity is appropriate, there's no squabbling Etc
I think it's really important, and lovely, to do stuff with just one dc.

almostthirty · 07/07/2016 18:11

It sounds like your dh would be hurt and feel left out if he is left behind too. I don't think it's fair that just you and ds get to do such a magical thing.

supermoonshine · 07/07/2016 18:13

Not sure it's worth the agro and I personally don't like splitting up my family ....we're all in this together! Why not take them both to Disneyland Paris?

BritexOMG · 07/07/2016 18:17

I would not take a child under 5 as it's such a full on long day.

Also I'm assuming the 2 year old is still in nappies and changing in a nappy while in a snow suit whilst not impossible isn't ideal either.

I would go with DS now and have an amazing time ..... and then save to go back in a few years.

It's a fabulous day you'll never forget.

Lunar1 · 07/07/2016 18:17

Take your ds this year and set up an account to do the same for your dd when she's 5/6. It could well give your ds another year of the magic!

DownUnderBound · 07/07/2016 18:24

Agree with you op. In a similar situation but with an even younger baby and an even older child, so I was thinking this would be the last year will believe. One year old doesn't have a clue. Have you checked wowcher travel for Iceland day trips

talksensetome · 07/07/2016 18:27

I think its a reasonable idea and you just take your dd when she is older.

Natsku · 07/07/2016 18:47

Def just take DS. Taking a two year old on a daytrip to Lapland is insane and she will not enjoy it! Although a daytrip to Lapland sounds insane anyway Grin I live in Finland and I wouldn't go up to Lapland just for the day.

And as for the grinch up thread - my parents never did Father Christmas but we still went and met him in Lapland a few times, the last two times I went I was 15 and 21, loved it both times!

Natsku · 07/07/2016 18:47

Though we never paid for our photo taken with him, total rip off, we just video'd ourselves instead.

StarryIllusion · 07/07/2016 18:52

I would take him. She is too young to get the best out of it anyway and as long as you take her when she is older or your dh does I don't see how its unfair.

buffalogrumble · 07/07/2016 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.