To not want other people's children at my party?

[FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname]

I am organising a party for my birthday, I'm planning for it to be a fairly adult, boozey event held in the evening (8pm+).

Aibu to be a bit annoyed that at least 2 friends who have been invited are planning to bring their young kids, without asking me? I only found out that they were planning to do so recently when we were talking about the party and they mentioned that they would be bringing the kids! I have not invited children or 'families', just individuals.

There won't really be anything for the kids to do if they do come so they'll just be sitting around bored and potentially making a mess after I've just spent hours trying to clean up the place

Fwiw the last time a friend unexpectedly brought her kids round I ended up babysitting them inside, fetching them drinks and snacks and putting movies on TV for them while their mother sat outside in the garden chatting to her boyfriend! I really don't want a repeat of this at my birthday party

Get new friends
Honestly, who does this without checking with the host first?

Yanbu at all, very rude of them not to run it by you. You have to let them know ASAP that this is an adult only party, no kids.

Tell them now (I agree with everyone else why didn't you adopt any of HeartsTrumpDiamonds suggestions).

But more to the point just say sorry no kids if necessary give the reason eg you don't want to entertain them and they have to find a babysitter. I perosnally don't see anything wrong in saying that it's a grown up party, you don't want to entertain them and they have to find a babysitter.

Also be really firm about this - you don't want people just turning up with kids and then you or someone else ends up minding them, just say even if they bring the kids they won't be able to come in harsh but essential. Then at least they have the option of going home and it's their own fault if they chose to ignore you.

Just tell them. formerbabe nails it. And don't run round after them!

last night me and DH went to a colleagues wedding party, they have an amazing house with fabulous grounds and lots of people brought their kids, what really impressed me was how they had setup little zones for the kids to play, so outside a swingball set, mini croquet set, and the most popular... a couple of huge cardboard boxes draped in scarves / sheet / tablecloth things and an old fashioned clothes horse draped in a blanket alongside a pop up tent. the kids all got a box of 'goodies' and were left to pretty much get on with it. Now whilst I agree it's bloody rude to just bring kids if not invited, and no way would I be stepping in to personally entertain them, if you wanted to it would not take much to set a room aside as a kid zone to keep them entertained and out of the way, add in a DVD player / games console if you have one (depending on age of kids) and the party could be a huge success. Saying that, if you really don't want them there and / or aren't prepared to sort a few games /toys to keep them out of your hair then you have no option but to say 'no kids' and accept that some people will therefore be unable to come. have a great time whatever you decide.

There's a simple answer here isn't there? Just tell them there's been a mistake and it's actually adults only. I don't get what the problem is.

What the hell is wrong with people? This is the kind of thing my sister does. She thinks she is being all groovy and continental or something by unilaterally deciding that all events are child-friendly. However she herself is barely able to cope with adult behaviour (eating late, waiting to eat, staying up late, drinking alcohol, standing around in high heels, engaging in subtle conversation rather than shouting your head off all the time) so she actually doesn't really understand that anyone else wants to do these things.

I would make it very clear now that kids weren't invited "Sorry, there seems to have been a mix up. The party is for adults. I'm afraid there won't be anything for kids to do."

If anyone still brings a kid, then for gods sake don't run around after them. They'll soon get bored and beg to leave.

yanbu nip it in the bud

Having a room with children's things is all very well if you want children to come to your party.

But you don't.

You don't want them. You did not invite them.

Are your friends actively rude chancers or just very naive? They must be one of these things in order to think that an 8pm party invitation means "bring your children".

I's send out a mass message to all the invited friends that says, How much you are looking forward to seeing everyone, and don't forget to make sure you have your babysitters booked to stay late/overnight so you can all party.

I don't really have enough room to make a room for the kids unfortunately, I have a spare room but it's tiny and currently just used for storage including a load of dp's tools which are not safe to be around children really. The only place the kids could go is in the main living room or outside in the garden, which is not fenced or secured in any way.

If the weather is bad we will all be indoors in the same room

I think I will have to tell them, politely, that it won't be suitable for the kids. I think they will be ok with it but just won't be able to come if no kids, so I will just have to lose 3 guests

I don't really have enough room to make a room for the kids

And you don't want to. We can tell. So you shouldn't have to.

Send an email to all guests saying

"Looking forward to seeing you all at the party on xxx. Please, no presents, no kids, but dancing shoes mandatory! x"

(or "but booze welcome! x" depending on the type of party you are having)

Organizing a kids' zone is only going to make more people think you want kids there. You don't, so definitely don't do it.

I dont understand how people think kids would be invited to a party at 8pm.I think because you have a heads up i would send an email saying its an adult only party.No kids allowed.

I also don't understand why people would think that a post 8pm party is for kids

But OP you've got to tell them - preferably today so they can get childcare sorted! Use any of the methods suggested upthread and it'll be fine.

This has happened to me in the past - I'd never have thought someone would turn up with their kids to an evening house party. Then they asked if I could find somewhere for their kid to go to sleep cos they were tired!! Er, their bed at home maybe?
Now if I am doing anything at my house I always specify whether it's a "kids welcome" or "no kids this time".
You need to just clarify it is a kid free party.

I'm dumfounded that anyone thinks it's OK to turn up at an Adult party with children in tow.
Be firm op.

Why on earth would anyone think a party starting at 8pm would be for children :S

People are deeply clueless, sometimes.

I don't get why the OP should have had to specify no kids. The timing makes it pretty obvious! Friend isn't being a good friend at all.

So, have you sent formerbabe's suggested text, or not?

Fwiw the last time a friend unexpectedly brought her kids round I ended up babysitting them inside, fetching them drinks and snacks and putting movies on TV for them while their mother sat outside in the garden chatting to her boyfriend! I really don't want a repeat of this at my birthday party sad

If you do end up having kids there then don't do this. If you don't do it the parents will have to sort the children.