Ex leaves 3 year old in car at petrol station. AIBU to be livid?

[wherearethetrees]

DD has just told me that daddy always leaves her in the car when he goes in to pay for the petrol.
Can think of a few 'what if's' which might seem extreme & ultimate feel fucked off at his negligence. AIBU to feel this way? Or am I just OTT?

That car had a twelve year old in it. Essentially it was a carjacking. Even adults shouldnt be left in cars using that logic. Noone is safe

Yes.

oP what would you do if you had toddler twins? Or baby twins and a toddler? Or even a toddler and a baby? Would you get them all out the car and take them across the forecourt and back?

OTT.
And like others, I have never seen anyone take a child with them to pay for petrol. .

I have never met, or seen anyone who doesn't leave their child in the car when they buy petrol

Sorry but yes, OTT

Has OP now left the building?

Completely ridiculous. Doesn't everyone do this?

This was discussed once at twins club, with strong opinions both ways. The mum of quads said there was no way she would get her four out of their car seats, into their quad buggy, across the forecourt and into the shop, then do it all in reverse back into the car. Apart from anything, it would have taken too long and a grumpy queue would have built up.

It's really OTT to worry about every little thing. Yes, there has been an incident, but I've left my elderly and frail aunt in a car while I've popped into a shop or to pay for petrol - she could possibly have been kidnapped but I don't think I would have been considered negligent.

If I understand correctly the car jacking occurred because the woman left her keys in the ignition. It is common sense to remove the car keys, making a car jacking very unlikely. Plus petrol stations are riddled with cctv.

Ah hun, are you ok? That's dead wrong that is, he should get petrol in his own time. Stay strong xxx

Or, get a grip.

¯\(ツ)/¯

YABU.
I would never go to the grief of unloading the DC's while I nipped in to pay for petrol. Leave them strapped in, lock the doors, tell them that if there is an emergency to beep the horn.
At most petrol stations you can see the car out of the window while you're paying.

Take the kids in to pay??? Fgs have you got an anxiety problem or something?

YABU. Totally.

I've never ever taken DC across the forecourt to pay. Leaving them in the is much safe as far as I'm concerned. Why risk a car whizzing on to the forecourt from the main road.

Pay at pumps are a relatively new thing. Millions of parents managed before them and made considered judgments I whether it was safest to leave them in the car or not.

I don't think you get a say on your ex's decision. Accept he's doing what he thinks is right just the same way in sure you do.

Have you raised this with him already? If not don't you will look like a prat

utterly batshit

I'm with you OP. I'd ask my ex to see if he can fill up the car before he has DD to avoid the situation.

somedays do you never get petrol with your children then?

Ott, sorry. But I guess this may be part of broader concerns you have about him?

I've always left both of mine if I can't pay at pump, from new born.

Presumably the risk of leaving them in the car is that there is a fire on the forecourt while you are in the shop - versus the risk of the child being hit by a car while you walk her across the forecourt to pay. Both are extremely unlikely, but I'd say the former was even less likely as toddlers are extremely unpredictable and petrol stations have cars coming in and out from all directions. So - I leave my kids in the car and I don't think your husband is being negligent.

the last time i tried to take one of my kids into the shop to pay (because he was moaning about wanting to see what it looked like inside) the petrol statuon guy shouted "no children on the forecourt!" at me over the speakers and nearly gave me a heart attack.

This is one of those weird things that is only an issue on mumsnet. i dont know anyone in rl who takes their children in with them and ive never seen anyone doind it in rl. I always leave my 3 dc strapped in, parked near the shop, doors locked, alarm on (have a child friendly alarm). Always have, always will until one of them is old enough to offer to pay. There is no negligence here whatsoever ime and imo.

I have been driving for over 20 years and I have never seen parents take young children in to the petrol station, I've seen older kids obviously if they are going in to choose food etc.

What exactly are all the people worried about will happen if they leave their children in the car? Spontaneous car combustion?

Well I always take mine in or pay at the pump. I just don't like leaving her and I'm careful on the forecourt. So it's not completely unheard of! But when your ex is caring for your child you have to let him deal with risk as he sees fit. If you don't trust his judgement that's a bigger issue.

This old chestnut always divides MN
Not really!!!!
Nearly everyone is in agreement on this one!

Potterinvalong. That's correct, I always got the petrol on the way to work after DS had already been dropped off at the childminders. Unless one of my friends was in the car with me. I never felt comfortable getting petrol and leaving DS in the car on his own. Each to their own I guess.

I would like to have seen you manage that as a single parent with a child not in childcare :) I would have run out of petrol frequently :o