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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DS, 5, wants to marry male best friend

137 replies

pjsgalore · 01/07/2016 23:04

DS, 5, says he's in love with his best friend, and wants to marry him, and when they're older they're going to adopt children and live in a volcano... the love is fully requited by the best friend!I think it's funny and sweet, but my DH (who is actually a lovely, non-homophobe), who did find it funny, is now finding it slightly disconcerting- anyone else had a DS who ants to marry their male best friend at about this age? I've told DH lots of kids talk about marrying at this age - both my cousins (male and female) wanted to marry my brother when they were little! Not that he wouldn't accept him being gay, but I don't think it's to do with that at this age. Any thoughts appreciated!

OP posts:

ipsogenix · 02/07/2016 00:48

When the vote in Ireland went through to allow gay couples to marry I asked ds and his 10 year old friend what they thought and they both said, with no hesitation at all, that it made perfect sense for men to marry one another.

I think at this age they both really enjoy male company and felt that sharing a house with another man would be an excellent idea. Like a sort of batchelor flat, in the way that Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson lived.

2nds · 02/07/2016 00:52

I remember telling my dad I was going to marry him. He told me that I can't possibly do that and I distinctly remember thinking about it and then saying that I'm going to marry a man who was just like him instead.

I have not married my dad and I've not even married anyone, and my fella is nothing like my dad.

playftseforme · 02/07/2016 00:55

My ds 6 wants to move back to the UK from Oz so that he can marry his best friend. Alternatively he wants to marry a girl in his class. We've asked to be invited to the wedding, whatever he chooses

Fruu · 02/07/2016 00:57

When I had my baby, we were given one of these balloons by my mum.

My friend came to visit with her two DDs, and the younger one made off with it and announced repeatedly that she was going to keep it, marry it and that it was her "inflatable husband".

We were all trying desperately not to giggle in case we then had to come up with a child-friendly reason for laughing, especially given the balloon had an extremely dodgy-looking inflation tube where the string attached.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 02/07/2016 00:59

Children have been intending to marry their friends forever. And in theory if that pash survives, they can now. Mate of mine was always going to marry their siblings bestie. They lost touch. met up and did indeed marry.
DS is going to have to move to Utah to cope with his prospective wives.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 02/07/2016 01:05

At the age of 5 my eldest son used to say he was going to marry his (male) best friend. By 7 he had switched allegiance to the most popular girl in his class. He's now 19 and he's gay.

Your husband needs to get over himself, OP.

JoandMax · 02/07/2016 01:12

My 6 year old is going to marry either his best friend or the cat, he can't definitely decide at the moment!

And he's going to have 2 children called Rosie and Alec who are frequently talked about.

My 7 year old is going to marry me so he can stay living at home forever with aforementioned cat

The cat is rated very highly in our house........

VioletBam · 02/07/2016 01:17

The issue is not your DS wanting to marry his friend but your DH's latent homophobia. Ask DH how he'd feel if in 12 years, DS came out as gay. Tell him that if he ever DID come out, then it wouldn't matter to you so why is he nervously looking for "signs"?

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 02/07/2016 01:33

I think it is a compliment to your rs.
Married people they know - their parents.

You must get on well as a couple if they think that the person you marry is your best friend if mine based it on the rs with their dad they'd be marrying the class bully.

Amd I think the obsession at that age, is that those friendships, the first strong one outside your parents, are very important and also they are realising they will grow up and leave home at that seems unthinkable unless they have some security.

Tell your dh to suck it up and get planning his father of the groom speech and just tteat it as an opportinity to listen to your ds about what he thinks being a grown up will be like. Bound to be better fun than the reality.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 02/07/2016 01:35

Oh and I am going to live in a block of flats, 1 for me, 1 for rach of the dts. One will have a red door and the other blue. One is having identical quads and the other is having no babies.

waitingforsomething · 02/07/2016 02:08

My dd wants to marry her dad and her brother. And her friend Sophie. And she wants to live in my kitchen until she's 100 million years old...

geekymommy · 02/07/2016 02:48

My almost 4yo DD wants to marry her baby brother.

agentmarmalade · 02/07/2016 02:55

I think it's funny when kids announce who they are going to marry. I wanted to marry my dad when I was about three or four. I used to ask to look at my parents wedding album and cry bitterly at images of the magical mythical (in my mind) day, because firstly I wasn't there (I wasn't born, but so what!) and secondly that mummy married daddy and i was jealous!
It's classic child development stuff really and nothing to worry about, your husband needs to chill out and take no notice.kids don't quite see these concepts like adults do. And if the two boys grow up to be boyfriend and boyfriend? At least ya know it's real love after all this time! (My son who is 7 recently announced that him and his mate are gay together, I was very suprised. He doesn't understand the concept yet either)

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 02/07/2016 03:24

Nothing helpful to add other than I think it's totally normal. Two of DDs friends (both male with the same name) want to marry each other because they have the same name and both like trains. They're 4.

DD in contrast has told me she's never getting married, "so don't bother me."

I love shit like this at this age.

Kpo58 · 02/07/2016 03:35

So the big question is, where do you find a suitable volcano?
misses point of thread

Batboobs · 02/07/2016 04:19

At the same age (5), my DS told me he wanted to marry my DP when he grew up so they could be friends. He obviously couldn't comprehend that by the time he was old enough to do that my DP would be in his 50s/60s! Not so exciting.

Heyheyheygoodbye · 02/07/2016 06:11

This isn't the point really but I was just thinking that no more little boys or girls in the UK will grow up to find that the law says they CAN'T marry someone of the same sex, and that's a nice thought :)

When my nephew and niece were little they were both 100% set on same-sex spouses because the thought of living with another GIRL/BOY respectively was so awful My niece has grown up to be extremely appreciative of boys, in fact. Jury still out on nephew!

steff13 · 02/07/2016 06:18

My brother wanted to marry his first grade teacher when he was 6. He was devastated when she got married to someone else over Christmas break.

imip · 02/07/2016 07:09

Dd6 is going to marry her best friend, 6yo girl. No one wants to have the baby because it hurts to much!!

Dd8 has a female best friend who is planning to marry dd and move to the states to become a ranger! Dd goes along with these plans but tells me at home that she doesn't want to leave me (she has autism and struggles with this scenario)

Dd9 and her best friend have no plans to Marry anyone but are going to live in a treehouse in Australia!

Archedbrowse · 02/07/2016 07:18

Lovely sweet stories. My DD wants to marry her slightly older cousin who, to her, is the best person in the whole world. Sometimes it's daddy.

As PPs have said, it's just about their favourite people

Callwaiting · 02/07/2016 07:24

My middle son wants to marry the dog!!
I'm think dh needs to get a grip....... he's 5 ffs.

Callwaiting · 02/07/2016 07:25

*I not I'm (stupid phone keys!)

BathshebaDarkstone · 02/07/2016 07:25

Pardonwhat · 02/07/2016 07:29

I wanted to marry my dad when I was 5.

MTWTFSS · 02/07/2016 07:43

My 5yo DS wants to marry his daddy This year on Valentine's day he gave him a card saying one day he'll get rid of mummy and it will just be the two of them

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