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AIBU?

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Original poster

DS, 5, wants to marry male best friend

137 replies

pjsgalore · 01/07/2016 23:04

DS, 5, says he's in love with his best friend, and wants to marry him, and when they're older they're going to adopt children and live in a volcano... the love is fully requited by the best friend!I think it's funny and sweet, but my DH (who is actually a lovely, non-homophobe), who did find it funny, is now finding it slightly disconcerting- anyone else had a DS who ants to marry their male best friend at about this age? I've told DH lots of kids talk about marrying at this age - both my cousins (male and female) wanted to marry my brother when they were little! Not that he wouldn't accept him being gay, but I don't think it's to do with that at this age. Any thoughts appreciated!

OP posts:

SueTrinder · 01/07/2016 23:28

He just thinks you marry your favourite people.

I think that is a very sensible plan really. None of this lust getting in the way complicating things .

The DDs wanted to marry each other for a long time and we have had long conversations about who you are allowed to marry and who you aren't. So now it's a succession of friends (male and female).

ReallyTired · 01/07/2016 23:31

Dd wants to marry her best friend who is a girl for the simple reason that the boys in her class just want to play football. I don't think that young children really have any understanding of sexuality. It's too early to know if a primary school child is homosexual.

If one of my children grows up to be homosexual then I will cross that bridge when I come to it. I hope that I will love them and accept whoever they choose to marry.

Mrsfrumble · 01/07/2016 23:34

My 5 year old proposed to a boy at the park a few weeks ago. They'd only met an hour before, but were getting along famously and I overheard DS telling him "we can get married, because boys can marry boys!"

We live in a very conservative southern state and the other boy's nanny looked a bit shocked. I considered it an improvement on his previous plan to marry his teacher...

trixymalixy · 01/07/2016 23:35

My DD was saying she wants to have babies when she's older. She was worried about who she'd have the babies with. I said that she probably hasn't met that person yet, but that they should be somebody she loves and who loves her back.

She thought about it for a minute and then said, "OK, I'll have my babies with Mary" (her best friend).

I thought it was very sweet.

LaraCroftInDisguise · 01/07/2016 23:36

My DS, who is also 5, has wanted to marry 1 or 2 male friends...

He's also wanted to marry female friends. He's even wanted to marry me.

It's nothing to worry about. It's how they explore the world.

WankersHacksandThieves · 01/07/2016 23:38

At that age they just want to be together for ever and think the way to do that is to be married. it's quite sweet. I don't think either of mine were like that though. still aren't as teenagers :)

CarrieLouise25 · 01/07/2016 23:40

DD said she wanted to marry DS. And also DH.

Frankly, DD is such an angel with tidying and helping me, once I said I wanted to marry her

MizK · 01/07/2016 23:43

My DS is 13 and was laughing about the fact that he used to want to marry his best friend when he was in reception. They are still best mates but no sign of any romantic feelings since they were 5

I'm more concerned about DD2 who is also 5 and has plans to marry her daddy and send me away to find a new husband. She looks like she means business......!

serin · 01/07/2016 23:45

My 14 year old DS wants to marry his male BF too. FWIW he has always said he wanted to marry a boy from the age of 4.

Your husband needs to get over himself.

RebelRogue · 01/07/2016 23:46

Dd has no plans of marriage ,but wants me to marry her best friend's dad for some reason.
I used to pretend marry my mum's uncle lots of time as kid. His wife would play the priest. Can't remember what i said one of the times,but i do remember she laughed so hard she weed herself

LizzieVereker · 01/07/2016 23:47

DS2 wanted to marry DS1 and live in a Premier Inn, eating only Domino's pizza forever.

KC225 · 01/07/2016 23:48

My six year old boy asked me if girls could marry girls. I said yes they could. He asked if boys could marry boys, I said yes. He replied 'so I could marry X (his best friend) and we could watch scooby doo all day and do karate' Hadn't the heart to tell him he had confused marriage with slacker student house

CalleighDoodle · 01/07/2016 23:48

My 4 year old boy this evening has said he wants to marry me because he loves me, i said he cant marry me. He then said he wanted to marry his dad then his sister, same reason. I said he cant marry a relative. He asked if he could marey a boy. I said yea. He said he wants to marry our neighbours boy, then the neighbours daughter...

CalleighDoodle · 01/07/2016 23:49

KC slacker student house

Farmmummy · 02/07/2016 00:03

fuck knows why the cat is a git
ours too! dd1 wanted to marry her Dad, then her wee sister then the "weirdest"boy in her class (her words not mine!) and she didn't even consider the cat!

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 02/07/2016 00:05

PJSGALORE. We had a Little Obsessive too. From about 4 they were getting married, at about 6 it was obsessive, for well over a year, and drove us all a bit batshit (same as any other obsession). Unfortunately his Little Mate had to move away (Dad's job) and they were both so upset. But they're still friends & now compare girls they're going to marry in a rather obsessive manner and seem to think it was pretty funny that when they 'were kids' they thought they'd get married to each other (they're all of 11 now 😁) - not because they're boys, but because ones 'messy' and the others 'neat' 😁 Neither of them wanted to marry their sisters or each other - they'd have rather rehomed them 😁

musicposy · 02/07/2016 00:09

I remember being most upset at 6 when I was told I had to marry a boy (no same sex marriages in those days) because I didn't like boys. I was quite stroppy over it and declared I wouldn't be getting married then. I'd have happily picked any of my female friends but there was no way I was setting up home with a boy.

Funnily enough I've been happily settled in a heterosexual marriage for over 20 years now.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 02/07/2016 00:11

In other news, the 11 yo sister is never getting married because you have to do that and she's not doing that ever, because it's disgusting. I tried explaining that one day she'll think it's nice, not disgusting, but the 'look' told me I she thought I'd lost all of my senses...

I have recorded footage which I'm keeping! 😁

AnotherUsernameBitesTheDust · 02/07/2016 00:18

When my oldest was 4 he was going to marry his best friend - a little girl. He's 17 and gay.

My youngest wanted to marry his two best friends, a boy and a girl.

My twins wanted to marry the same girl!

I don't think who they want to marry at 5 has any bearing on their future relationships.

catkind · 02/07/2016 00:29

Yup, very normal. My two like talking about who they're going to marry, where they're going to live, what kids they're going to have. DD is planning to kick us out of our house and live here [hmmm] Up to now it has mostly been opposite gender as that's what their best friends happened to be. DD is now more friendly with a girl and has checked that she can marry her if she wants to. So I think she might be changing allegiance!

I'm told they grow out of it and have a "yeuch girls" (resp boys resp kissing generally) phase before any real girlfriend/boyfriend type relationships.

OneMillionScovilles · 02/07/2016 00:33

Oh, don't worry - I was 100% going to marry my cousin at that age. Kids are weird :)

BertrandRussell · 02/07/2016 00:37

When my ds was in Reception the plan was that he would marry Tom and Holly and they would share a house together.

Later in the year he realized that they could do their own cooking and said he would marry Tom, dump Holly, and they would "live gay and be happy"

Tom's mother an I used to plan out cruises together. We were very disappointed when both ds and Tom acquired girlfriends at secondary school!

NovemberInDailyFailLand · 02/07/2016 00:41

Hope he's planning air-con in that volcano. Be a nightmare, otherwise :)

Italiangreyhound · 02/07/2016 00:44

My dd wanted to marry me, then the cat.

But I would tell kids marriage is for grown-ups and you can't decide yet who you are going to marry as you might hurt others feelings/leave people out etc.

ellenanora5 · 02/07/2016 00:48

When ds1 was about that age he wanted to marry me, he callously ditched me a few days later for his granda, I was gutted

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