Neighbour furious that I didn't consult her before I cut back some bushes!

[mumof2littlemonsters]

About a week ago I chopped down some (not all) bushes in my front garden. I moved a small half shed there (it holds a couple of child's bicycles) temporarily whilst we are having building work. My neighbour has just marched up to me very aggressively wanting to know what I have done with the garden. Why hadn't she been consulted? She had enjoyed a yellow rose on the corner for 10 years (we moved in about 18 months ago) - what had I done with it? We have a beautiful apple tree in our front garden which is still there. I have been told by her in the past that I should chop it down (more than once). She used to cut a lavender in our front garden (it wasn't overgrown). It's really bizarre but it's like she thinks our garden is an extension of her own. I wouldn't for a minute expect to be consulted if she wanted to change her garden/chop down a rose bush etc etc. I don't want to fall out with neighbours but I haven't a clue how to handle this woman. Has anyone had anything similar?

I don't consider nit picking.

IT- sorry, I'm on my phone.

It's not illegal, but it could potentially cause offence. Exactly the same way as causing someone an 'old bat'.

If you are a person that expects censorship when you find something unacceptable, then conversely you have to practice that yourself.

I think Dame IS ficbia

No I'm not.

She probably misses her previous neighbours and may be feeling vulnerable and threatened by the passing of the years. Most of us suffer that, especially as we get older.

But you are perfectly entitled to make changes to your garden, as long as you're not storing rusting white goods in it and sitting out on a mouldy old settee drinking Strongbow. I may be exposing my own prejudices there and don't object to someone popping up to call me a snob

Don't buy her flowers or a creme egg. Don't retort with smart arse comments and acts of passive aggression either. Just continue as if this never happened.

I do understand. On my first day here, which is the only house I've ever owned, I was putting out my wedding present saucepans in the kitchen and dreaming happily of the future when a neighbour came round. She didn't welcome us to the neighbourhood. She yelled at my husband. The gist of it was: 'We don't want your kind round here.'

I was in tears that night and that's really not like me. The tide of change was against her. After about 15 years she went into a home and is probably now dead. We never became close enough for me to care to ask. But while we were neighbours, we rubbed along to something I'd call detente. She grew to love my husband. But then he is a charming bastard and everyone does, especially old ladies.

And yes, I have RTFT

I kind of know how she feels although of course she is in the wrong.

Our neighbours had a stunning shrub, so magnificent our visitors would look over and comment on it, our new neighbours got house and didnt know/understand this shrub and every single year just before it flowers they cut it back saying it doesn't do anything.

I have had to get a grip and force myself not to say anything when they keep saying this. On the other hand, they leaned over and tried to cut our shrub down too I had to put a sign up to say - please dont kill me.

Be nice to her, at the end of the day all she has done is admire a lovely rose. It would have perhaps been nice to keep it if it was going to be thrown away to give to her?

Well, that's what you would say, isn't it?!

limited I have not seen you round MN lately not under that name anyway, I always enjoy reading your little Vignettes

Me too, Slug. I always like Limited's anecdotes.

Hore- I've been here years under this name and I don't sock puppet.

Thank you Slug. I'm always on this name. But other people do vignettes too.

Don't take it personally, but I persecute your kind with extreme prejudice when they are after my hostas at the back. I go out with a torch, gloves and bucket every night. The death toll in this rain has been like something out of GoT's Battle of the Bastards

I let the ones out the front live because I don't have plants there and they eat the algae on the paving stones.

ficbia think it's time to get out more...

OneMillionScovilles

that Photo is GOLD, gold start for you !

This reminds me of a great post I read on another message board.
The woman telling the story says she is out in her garden one day and notices she has a bumper crop of blackberries this year (I don't remember the fruit but hope blackberries grow on bushes). In fact, so many she decides to pick them and make jam for the first time.

A few days later she opens the door to find a complete stranger demanding to know where the berries are. Owner explains she made jam with them. At this point the other woman loses her temper, saying its not good enough, she was planning on making a blackberry crumble, which she has promised to dinner guests she's having this evening, and this is where she's been getting her berries for years...

Haha that's amazing. People are so entitled!!

Do you live in a conservation area? If you've only been there for 18 months, your solicitor should have mentioned it when you were buying. We live in a conservation area and are meant to check before we do anything which could effect the look of the area. I believe drastic garden changes would be included in this. We even have to get planning permission to change windows! It does mean that the local surroundings are very pretty though .

My dad lives in a conservation area , first Xmas they were there he realised people were in his enclosed front garden helping themselves to holly from the bush!! When questioned they said ' oh ,we do this every year, we always have'

Kate that was on here a few years ago on a entitled neighbours thread

YANBU this sounds like our neighbours -both sides! They have been weirdly controlling about our garden. I can't be bothered to go into all the crap they've come up with. But initially everytime I went outside, they'd rush up and ask what I was doing. I'd tell them (plant apple tree, put up fence, lift paving slabs...etc) then they would say don't. I would be left with the choice of doing nothing or ignoring them. I tried to work round this and discuss things with them but they just got more controlling. I eventually did do some of the things I wanted, because it was my garden and that's why we bought the house! They became aggressively furious and behaved as if I'd declared war. They did weird retaliations (like building bigger fences(something they had 'banned' me from doing myself ). I felt nervous everytime I went out. Fortunately we didn't give in, and now have a beautiful garden. They have put up so many fences I can't see them, and don't speak to me. So all is well. Due to comments they've made I get the impression they put it down to my being Welsh. The other neighbours are lovely or no bother. Bet you are glad now you only have the one!? It's been tough as I was feeling pretty low when I moved in, otherwise I'd have given them more attitude back earlier. Good luck and best wishes. On age... You can be an arsehole at any age. Some people have always been old, some will always be young

The entitled neighbour was gooseberries, not blackberries. I remember it distinctly, which is quite good going as I very rarely remember anything more than vaguely. It may have been on the same thread as the infamous Mexican holiday home (required reading for those who have not come across it already).

My neighbours have every right to complain about the jungle that passes for my garden. Next time I have a day off and it isn't raining I really must take a flamethrower pair of secateurs to it.

I find using the word cunt as a swear word sexist - Ficbia