Neighbour furious that I didn't consult her before I cut back some bushes!

[mumof2littlemonsters]

About a week ago I chopped down some (not all) bushes in my front garden. I moved a small half shed there (it holds a couple of child's bicycles) temporarily whilst we are having building work. My neighbour has just marched up to me very aggressively wanting to know what I have done with the garden. Why hadn't she been consulted? She had enjoyed a yellow rose on the corner for 10 years (we moved in about 18 months ago) - what had I done with it? We have a beautiful apple tree in our front garden which is still there. I have been told by her in the past that I should chop it down (more than once). She used to cut a lavender in our front garden (it wasn't overgrown). It's really bizarre but it's like she thinks our garden is an extension of her own. I wouldn't for a minute expect to be consulted if she wanted to change her garden/chop down a rose bush etc etc. I don't want to fall out with neighbours but I haven't a clue how to handle this woman. Has anyone had anything similar?

Mumof, some people of any age seem to react badly to change.

Maybe buy her a bunch of roses, pop over and explain that you're having building work done, so you had to change things a bit.

She is your neighbour after all, no matter what age she is, it's good to be friendly and polite?

mmm I see - I'm new to this

I had that with ndn.
I had informed her twice that (awful dark) trees would be cut but we would replant a new hedge.
She marched up to my door and gave out hell.
She backed away when I said that when she pays the (our) mortgage she can have an influence on what stays and what goes in our garden.
Relations are frosty to say the least.
The other neighbours around consider our ndns very odd.

Gamerchick

Mmm yes I don't think I should buy her flowers - it will only validate her feeling that I should have consulted her before doing any gardening in my own garden. I don't want to feel that every time I get the secateurs out I need to discuss it with her first!

Bet she voted Leave as well

No don't buy her anything OP she's being ridiculous.

Buy her a bunch of yellow roses Or better still, a yellow rose bush "so you can plant your own bush in your own garden, since you like them so much" And then hit her with the line about how she can decide what goes in your garden when she pays your mortgage

Don't apologise, don't buy her anything. If she moans again, use holly's words, very sensible. I cannot understand why people think they have rights over others' gardens/drives. Batshit, regardless of age.

My sister has had all sorts of issues with her garden/hedges with her NDN.
She cut some down, the NDN complained (NDN garden could now been seen from the road apparently, although only if you slowed right down and looked with binoculars). Sister pointed out she could always plant something Her side of the fence.
She didn't cut some things down... NDN complained.
She too is a bit of a mad bat. NB No age indicated for fear of being labelled as ageist.

She sounds like she likes flowers, and enjoyed privileges with the old occupants.

Sometimes change is difficult to handle.

I wouldn't alienate her, but would give her a bunch of roses from tesco, saying it must be difficult for you to see old neighbours go and new neighbours come in with new ways of doing things, and we hope the building works we are doing in our house don't disturb you.

No need to make an enemy so early on in the relationship. Wait a bit and maybe then you'll really have some cause!

It's foolish to make an enemy be accident. Rude too.

Ok bunch of yellow roses - brilliant idea!

Buy her flowers?! because you dared to garden? Fucking hell.

Mmm yes lost my mind for a moment there - it was the thought of getting her yellow roses and seeing the look on her face. I will rise above it and ignore...

Did you not call her out on entering your garden and cutting the lavender OP?

I love my Gardens and I love Gardening,sadly I'm one of the only one's in our road,but if someone went into our garden and started cutting something I'd probably scare them half to death with my response

I used to have a NDN that was a bit like that in terms of "ownership" of my garden, with the crucial difference that she was very nice with it. She'd lived in her bungalow.for over 50 years, since it was.built, and previous owner of our one had also lived there since it was built, until her death, which is when we bought it.

From day one, every.time I went into the garden, it was "ohhh D wouldn't be happy to see you doing that", then constant remarks about size of fruit.trees I was planting.

It only stopped once the trees matured and I started sharing out the fruit!

It is not illegal to hold or espouse ageist views in general life (putting to one side whether this is ageist or not).

The Equality Act 2010 applies to the workplace, education, the provision of services etc. It does not apply to personal views posted on a forum.