Neighbour furious that I didn't consult her before I cut back some bushes!

[mumof2littlemonsters]

About a week ago I chopped down some (not all) bushes in my front garden. I moved a small half shed there (it holds a couple of child's bicycles) temporarily whilst we are having building work. My neighbour has just marched up to me very aggressively wanting to know what I have done with the garden. Why hadn't she been consulted? She had enjoyed a yellow rose on the corner for 10 years (we moved in about 18 months ago) - what had I done with it? We have a beautiful apple tree in our front garden which is still there. I have been told by her in the past that I should chop it down (more than once). She used to cut a lavender in our front garden (it wasn't overgrown). It's really bizarre but it's like she thinks our garden is an extension of her own. I wouldn't for a minute expect to be consulted if she wanted to change her garden/chop down a rose bush etc etc. I don't want to fall out with neighbours but I haven't a clue how to handle this woman. Has anyone had anything similar?

People get very strange about other people's gardens. We lived in a street with a very busy church opposite. The big elm tree in the garden had Dutch Elm disease and we had an order from the council to cut it down. We became persona non grata for all the church goers and most of the neighbours until one of the neighbours actually complained and I told him why we'd done it. Then we were alright again. Just because they could see it every week they sort of got attached to it. Weird.

I can't deal with people like that, I haven't got the time or desire to argue with such idiocy. I just ignore and walk away. If people want to speak to me, don't be aggressive and rude. Don't give her the argument she is looking for.

MN really is becoming a parody of itself!

What I've seen lately has either been spreading hatred or people getting a bug up their arse about some minor throwaway comment and wanting the perpetrator hung drawn and quartered.

You're all starting to look a bit bonkers. Are you all old?

Amummyatlast, I think you're ignoring the harassment provisions in the Equality Act. Under that, harassment is defined as unwanted behaviour which a person who has one of the protected characteristics (including age) finds offensive or which makes them feel intimidated or humiliated. It can happen on its own or alongside other forms of discrimination. Unwanted behaviour can include offensive comments on social networking sites.

It isn't illegal to hold ageist views, but it may be illegal to express them.

Is it truly against the law to call someone an "old bat" now?

I can see where discrimination in employment, public accommodation, housing, etc. vis a vis one's age, ethnicity, sexual orientation etc. is illegal. As it certainly should be!

But is it now illegal to actually use adjectives such as "young" "old" "black" "Asian" "gay" etc. in ordinary conversation? I am truly sincerely asking as don't want to fun afoul of any rules here.

Would it be OK to say something like "I think older women are more beautiful than untested young women because their life experience gives their face character" or is all commentary age-related disallowed?

Is it OK to say "In my experience older people tend to be more territorial about their yards than do younger people, based on observing neighbors in six different dwellings over the past 30 years." Or is that an ageist attitude?

Very perplexed.

Back to the point of the thread: obviously neighbour has no right to object to what you do in your garden, and cutting your plants is certainly illegal.

JudyCoolibar
The previous poster's explanation about the Equality Act was correct. The harassment has to be in the context of the workplace, provision of housing, service, education etc to make it a civil wrong. Random comments in other contexts are not a breach of the EA. They might be (in theory) a criminal offence such as under the Protection from Harassment Act but the various elements would need to shown

Judy to have a claim under the Equality Act there has to be a protected characteristic (in this case age), prohibited conduct (which includes harassment) AND it has to be an area covered by the act, such as in the workplace, provision of services, etc.

Evening all,

Thanks for your reports about this thread.

Just a little reminder of our Talk Guidelines and that we will delete any posts that are ageist.

But mumsnet are not the ones making the comments. The acts says 'A service provider must not harass a person requiring the service or a person to whom the service-provider provides the service'. I don't see anything that extends to comments made by random members of the public. Unless you can provide some case law to the contrary.

But her flowers for fuck sake

Jesus christ. Can people not just answer a thread and let some of this shit go these days?

Off hand comments people, but stop detracting from the OP's question and turning it into a different thread. That is surely disrespectful for the OP who answered a direct question.

I'd be well pissed off OP. It's none of her business. I've let a 'weed' grow into a tree in my garden because it looks pretty where it is. I don't give a flying fuck what the neighbours think. Just like I know my ndn on one side would hate if I got rid of the low hedge between us and continued the 6ft fence along because he'd get no sun. But if and when I could afford it I would do and frankly would be none of his business, nor could he stop me.

Lilac it is highly offensive to use words such as black or gay as an insult. Old bat is an insult, it is not descriptive, nor is it relevant in this context.

start another thread about offensive words etc stop derailing op's thread with this nonsense

start your own thread and then you can argue this for as long as you like

this thread is now not was started

Anyway,

My next door neighbour has a beautiful paeony bush which hangs over the small fence between our gardens. The bl**dy flowers for some reason refuse to grow in my garden. If he ever cuts them down I shall cheerfully strangle him.

Any minute now someone will come on here to say that chiropterism is illegal

spanieleyes Wed 29-Jun-16 20:30:29

Anyway,

Feels like this thread has been hijacked.

OP - just re-read and saw that your NDN has pruned a lavendar in your garden - WTAF!!!!! I would go ballistic if somebody did that to one of the plants in my garden, what planet is this woman on??? She needs to back off massively.

The censorship on here is getting ridiculous.