Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Is this casual racism on my mums part? Aibu in thinking so?

144 replies

Dinosaur1991 · 29/06/2016 09:52

My mum works in a big supermarket so obviously serves many customers a day. Yesterday she said that 99% of polish people she serves are rude and ignorant, very much implying that this is how she feels about Polish people in general. She doesn't think there's anything wrong with this as it's just her opinion and got huffy with me when I said I don't want it said around my son. Is she being slightly racist or am I massively overreacting?

OP posts:

TheRealAdaLovelace · 04/07/2016 18:23

if you cannot see why that statement about 'saving money on language classes by having play dates with speakers of other languages instead' is unpleasant, perhaps you should go off and have a quiet little think about it.

Atenco · 04/07/2016 19:39

I'm befuddled too. AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected I can't see anything objectionable about that statement.

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 04/07/2016 19:49

No I really can't see why thinking that my kids actually benfit from having multilingual friends is unpleasant. Are you going to enlighten me or just keep calling me unpleasant?

TheRealAdaLovelace · 04/07/2016 20:08

you clearly stated that you sent your children on playdates with speakers of other languages and that it saved you a lot of money on language classes.

So your playdates are not based on friendship then? they are based on some kind of transaction that will advantage your children?

To me, that sounds unpleasant.

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 04/07/2016 20:15

LOL no I didn't!

How would that even work? You think I tell my kids who to be friends with?

Its an added bonus, and it is something people pay £££ for -after bitching about people who actually speak other languages on front of them-

Why can't you like that your friends are multilingual?

I'ld like if my friends had a yacht, I wouldn't be friends with them just because they had a yacht, but I'ld certainly enjoy the perks of hanging out with them on it! there's nothing wrong or unpleasant in that

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 04/07/2016 20:17

you clearly stated that you sent your children on playdates with speakers of other languages and that it saved you a lot of money on language classes.

I said that I LIKE when my kids get language exposure on playdates
I SEND them on playdates becaue I get to drink coffee with their friends parents while the kids entertain themselves with their friends.
And people pay £££s for that kinda language exposure that they get for free while they're there, with our friends, who happen to speak other languages, which i think is a bonus rather than them being rude

Jez!

TheRealAdaLovelace · 04/07/2016 20:23

oh is that what you meant?
I see.
Perhaps you just didn't express what you meant very well the first time.

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 04/07/2016 20:28

Perhaps your comprehension skills are the problem, not my post.

NotYoda · 04/07/2016 20:30

Yes, it's racist. Her intention is to denigrate.

Great posts Niki. Really informative

TheRealAdaLovelace · 04/07/2016 20:34

nope nothing wrong with my comprehension skills, at all.

NotYoda · 04/07/2016 20:34

I live in an area that has a large population of Ultra-Orthodox Jewish people. They do sound brusque but there's normally not intention at all to be rude.

NotYoda · 04/07/2016 20:36

And great posts from others, too.

monkeywrench · 04/07/2016 21:06

slightly off topic from the OP, but to disagree with KatharinaRosalie
I am a single parent living outside of UK, I alone speak English to my kids and they both speak perfect English and perfectly the Native language. We also speak native language outside of the house and at home when we have non English speaking guests, but we will also speak in English occasionally in front of others between ourselves, not to not include them, just because it is sometimes easier to speak in your mother tongue, when you need to say something quickly.

Clandestino · 04/07/2016 21:16

Having conversations in Polish, to their companions, or on the phone, is usually a give away.

Right. And just how many Brits are actually capable of recognising Polish? Btw, I know of at least two other Slavonic languages which use the legendary kurwa.

80schild · 04/07/2016 21:20

Quite frankly I don't know. All the foreigners I know are what I would describe as a bit like me with a different sense of humour. It is easy to be judgemental when I am sitting in my mainly middle class area amongst people with the same values and simitation professions. This is what makes us friends not their narionality.

Maybe in other parts of the UK foreigners aren't as nice.

80schild · 04/07/2016 21:21

Similar professions I meant to say.

KissMyArse · 04/07/2016 21:23

Having conversations in Polish, to their companions, or on the phone, is usually a give away.

Or maybe they have a basket full of Polish goods from the World Food section.

Mind you, by that logic I'd be assumed to be Jamaican as my basket usually has loads of patties, hot pepper sauce, jerk seasoning, Ka black grape drink and 'Jammin' juices

TheRealAdaLovelace · 04/07/2016 21:27

to be honest, Polish people are quite rude about other people, especially if they are dark skinned, or 'different' looking in any way.

I only know this because I understand a lot of what they say, and used to have a load of Polish outlaws.

I do not think it is 'racist' to mention this, some of the things I have heard would make ur jaw drop.

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 04/07/2016 21:31

I do not think it is 'racist' to mention this, some of the things I have heard would make ur jaw drop.

I've heard the same but more in the context of what polish say about people "back home", I have polish friends who find it hard to stomach when they visit Poland after living here… although now… might not be so different

AppleSetsSail · 04/07/2016 21:40

I'd be surprised because I think Polish people tend to be nice, open, like babies and dogs, are quick to offer a bit of their Polish food, etc.

That said, I'd be really irritated if I had to censure myself around my family. If I came home after a long day at work at said 'I am so tired of the Polish people at the shop' I'd not appreciate a lecture on racism or nationalism or whatever.

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 04/07/2016 21:45

But I wouldn't, I'd just say I had an asshole customer, or a run of asshole customers

I wouldn't say "I'm sick of those polish customers" any more than I'ld say "I'm sick of those british customers"

I'ld just say I'm sick of rude customers

KissMyArse · 04/07/2016 21:47

like babies and dogs

dizzyfucker · 05/07/2016 00:21

Polish outlaws what were you doing with a bunch of bandits?

Clandestino · 05/07/2016 02:18

I'm not a racist but I'm disgusted every time I meet a British hen party in the city centre. Fake tan, make-up shovelled on on their faces, straightened hair so they all look like Katie Price lookalikes, with their wobbly spare tyres bouncing underneath their Primark t-shirts, tottering around on their high heels and loudly discussing which pub to go to next in accents which would make the Queen flinch. So vulgar.

Oooops.

whoopthereitis · 05/07/2016 06:49

Adulting, yes, you are right.

But people seem overly vigilent to behaviours expressed by people outside of their racial group.

Twenty years ago, I used to love shopping & you'd see me in the supermarket, smiling with my please & thank you's, like they were going out of fashion.

Not so much like that now, unless the cashier makes small talk, I don't usually make an effort to engage. But I really hope people don't equate my behaviour to my race. I'm just a different person now.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6