Is this casual racism on my mums part? Aibu in thinking so?

[Dinosaur1991]

My mum works in a big supermarket so obviously serves many customers a day. Yesterday she said that 99% of polish people she serves are rude and ignorant, very much implying that this is how she feels about Polish people in general. She doesn't think there's anything wrong with this as it's just her opinion and got huffy with me when I said I don't want it said around my son. Is she being slightly racist or am I massively overreacting?

[AppleSetsSail]

Good grief. I meant that the Polish people I know are easy-going, friendly, are fond of babies and dogs, are quick to offer their food, etc. Not that Polish people are like dogs or babies.

[BreconBeBuggered]

I took 'like babies and dogs' to mean, albeit clumsily, that the people in question were friendly and liked babies and dogs, leading to easy conversation.

I think I should move to Poland, or Russia. I make a totally rubbish Brit, and have fallen foul of the 'come round anytime' invitation more than once.

[dizzyfucker]

Clandestino I meant the flow and sounds of the language rather than the language itself.. I speak Portuguese and a little Spanish so hopefully I wouldn't actually mistake Romanian for Portuguese

[Clandestino]

*I would say most of the polish people I come across are very abrupt and come across as rude.....
I don't think that's racist. She's discussing her experiences with her daughter *

Most English I came across were snotty, arrogant, cold and xenophobic. Indirect and polite backstabbers. But maybe I just had a wrong impression.

[mzS1990]

I would say most of the polish people I come across are very abrupt and come across as rude.....
I don't think that's racist. She's discussing her experiences with her daughter

[Lweji]

In fact, I think that comment is so incredibly patronising that it's racist. Who compares a nation to dogs and babies, FGS?

[yabvu]

I think Polish people tend to be nice, open, like babies and dogs,

And not all babies and dogs are nice or open either!

[yabvu]

It isn't racist. She talking about her experiences of them.

It's implied that she is judging them to her (our) standards of politeness and ignoring their language barriers or what counts as polite in their culture.

[Clandestino]

MerryMarigold Romanian sounds like Portuguese to me. But I base this entirely on Din Tei, so it's not an in depth analysis. Mind you I also think Bulgarian sounds like Portuguese so I'm obviously crap at language recognition

Romanian sounds similar to Portuguese because it's a Romanic language. Bulgarian is a Slavonic language and sounds quite hard so I would never mistake them but you'd have to know how to recognise them. Chances are, a cashier who most likely only speaks English will believe all foreigners from Central and Eastern Europe are Polish. I might be mistaken though and the woman in question is actually university educated linguist who knows the difference between let's say Czech, Polish or Ukrainian immediately.

[SinisterBumFacedCat]

I'm afraid to say that if your mum perceives 99% of her customers to be rude it's probably her own attitude that's the problem.

Also how does she know for sure that they are Polish? Can she understand Polish and if so why doesn't she chat to them? Is she working in a Polish Deli??

[dizzyfucker]

MerryMarigold Romanian sounds like Portuguese to me. But I base this entirely on Dragostea Din Tei, so it's not an in depth analysis. Mind you I also think Bulgarian sounds like Portuguese so I'm obviously crap at language recognition

[BadLad]

I think Polish people tend to be nice, open, like babies and dogs,

I think this is probably the most patronising thing I've ever read.

[MerryMarigold]

Romanian sounds like Spanish with an Italian accent. I can understand lots of Romanian because I speak Spanish.

[dizzyfucker]

True that Lweji, I cannot tell the difference between Bulgarians speaking English and Brazilians. And I KNOW Brazilians. Don't even get me started on Romanian. That one throws me right off track.

I'm going to guess the OP's mum is not an expert of the Baltic languages.

[Lweji]

Late to the thread, but just to point out that
Having conversations in Polish, to their companions, or on the phone, is usually a give away.
may not be correct, unless you know the language.
Polish can sound like Portuguese to me (and I'm bloody Portuguese!).

[MerryMarigold]

so perhaps those Poles could be given a sheet of paper setting out how to behave in a UK supermarket, thank the people on the tills, smile, mention some anecdote about the weather, say sorry if someone pushes into you etc etc

I really, really REALLY hope that was ironic.

[MerryMarigold]

Not RTFT but how does she know they are Polish? Does she ask them for a passport? Can she tell the difference between a Polish and a German accent? Does she know what Polish sounds like as opposed to Lithuanian?

[Girlgonewild]

There are cultural differences. The Russians don't smile much and find all our smiling over here very strange indeed.
In Japan it can show you are listening to close your eyes in a meeting.

However in other countries it always pays to try to fit in and adopt their ways so perhaps those Poles could be given a sheet of paper setting out how to behave in a UK supermarket, thank the people on the tills, smile, mention some anecdote about the weather, say sorry if someone pushes into you etc etc

[dizzyfucker]

monkeywrench I agree. I have four children and they all speak only English at home, people joke that our house is an isolated island of English and our dogs only understand English. Even though we have lots of close family nearby and live in a small rural community. It is entirely dependent on the family structure and personality of the children involved.

I think it's different if you say one thing in passing to a child or relative but I still think it is rude to have a full scale conversation in front of people that don't understand.

[whoopthereitis]

Adulting, yes, you are right.

But people seem overly vigilent to behaviours expressed by people outside of their racial group.

Twenty years ago, I used to love shopping & you'd see me in the supermarket, smiling with my please & thank you's, like they were going out of fashion.

Not so much like that now, unless the cashier makes small talk, I don't usually make an effort to engage. But I really hope people don't equate my behaviour to my race. I'm just a different person now.

[Clandestino]

I'm not a racist but I'm disgusted every time I meet a British hen party in the city centre. Fake tan, make-up shovelled on on their faces, straightened hair so they all look like Katie Price lookalikes, with their wobbly spare tyres bouncing underneath their Primark t-shirts, tottering around on their high heels and loudly discussing which pub to go to next in accents which would make the Queen flinch. So vulgar.

Oooops.

[dizzyfucker]

Polish outlaws what were you doing with a bunch of bandits?

[KissMyArse]

like babies and dogs

[AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected]

That said, I'd be really irritated if I had to censure myself around my family. If I came home after a long day at work at said 'I am so tired of the Polish people at the shop' I'd not appreciate a lecture on racism or nationalism or whatever.

But I wouldn't, I'd just say I had an asshole customer, or a run of asshole customers

I wouldn't say "I'm sick of those polish customers" any more than I'ld say "I'm sick of those british customers"

I'ld just say I'm sick of rude customers

[AppleSetsSail]

I'd be surprised because I think Polish people tend to be nice, open, like babies and dogs, are quick to offer a bit of their Polish food, etc.

That said, I'd be really irritated if I had to censure myself around my family. If I came home after a long day at work at said 'I am so tired of the Polish people at the shop' I'd not appreciate a lecture on racism or nationalism or whatever.