To want to ban primary school sports day?

[namechangingagainagain]

I HATE sports day. I REALLY REALLY hate it!
Don't get me wrong as a child I was sporty. I did well at sports day and loved it.

However now I'm a parent Ive had to drag DS6 to school this morning. I have 3 school age children. They are all competitive but only the eldest is good at sport. He liked sports day. The other 2 found it the most painful day of the year.

Don't get me wrong they can all play a board game and lose without too much bother. They are all active and fit. They just hate sports day..... the sitting around...... the cheering parents...... DS aged 9 said " I hate it when they clap you and you're last.... it's really humiliating....."

It seems once you get to high school it's more opt in... which is fine.
FWIW I'm not anti-competitive at all but it just seems to me when they are little they don't have the emotional intelligence to cope with it ( or maybe it's just my children...)

( and yes I probably just should have let him have the day off in hindsight )

It's ludicrous to ban it. As others say, what about team spirit and cheering for your house? It's brilliant for camaraderie and learning to win - and lose graciously.

What about eg performing arts, which doesn't suit everyone? My dd happens to be sporty, and academic, but shy. She still gets on stage and recites lines in the school play, no way would I let her opt out. It actually does build her confidence when she realises she actually can do it.

Loads of kids hate maths, or reading; should they opt out?

It's only the non-sporty types who have to humiliate themselves in front of the whole school and a lot of parents - not just their own class.

Make joining in voluntary - and if High Speed Johnny has nobody to lap it's JTB - or make everyone take part in one sport and one mind-centred event. Preferably just make it voluntary.

I partially agree with you OP in so much as the children shouldn't be forced to participate if they don't want to.

I don't think it should be banned outright as some children are good at sport and love it.
However, my own children both suffer hyper mobility problems, have a complete lack of coordination and no matter how hard they try they're just not good at sport - I would be happier if they weren't forced to participate ( and our school really go overboard with sports day - every child is in every event and there are at least 12 events ).

I always think that the medal ceremony is devastating for the children who will never be good at sports. They don't give gold medals out to the children who are best at maths or English ( and rightly so, it would be seen as very bad practice ) so why the massive medal giving ceremony just because someone is good at sport. If the children chose to participate and were rewarded for a win then fair enough, but I don't agree with making those who wouldn't choose to participate feel worse about themselves.

No still think you need to take that grip op.

And loads of kids crying st sports day? What the fuck! Been to literally dozens of sports days with my 4 kids and I can honestly say the vast majority of kids are happy, excited, cheering for their friends and clapping.

If my kids cried about loosing they would have been told in no uncertain terms to stop right there and behave.

God no wonder we crashed out of the Euros.

medal ceremony devastating to kids who don't get them

Seriously where do your kids go to school? My kids have come first and last and clapped those who won.

If kids are devastated at this God help them approaching the teenage years and God help you.

Teach your kids resilience please for their sake.

Andrew at High Speed Johnny! We all know that child.

I have one fast DD and one slow DD. The fast one does enjoy winning but I don't see why that means she gets to humiliate the slower kids.

Let them run for fun. If DD decides she wants to join an athletics club then fine! She can compete against fair game then.

And they most certainly do give awards for maths and English it's called GCSEs and these are very public. Even reception age kids know who is 'clever' and who is less so. They know the good spellers. They know the good readers. Please allow those good at sport their one day to shine.

Medal ceremony is fine. Nothing wrong with shining the spotlight on those who are good at something.
My problem is when you force kids who are bad at it to have the spotlight shone on their crapness.

I work in a university and recently heard about feedback from local employers - they found our graduates work-ready in many ways, but one criticism was that they found it hard to take any negative feedback.

This attitude of "Oh, the dcs must be protected from any suggestion that they're not the greatest at everything" feeds into exactly that shortcoming. I don't want to raise a child who is brilliant at everything, I want a raise a child who can be publicly crap at something with good grace and without taking it to heart. And I put my money where my mouth is by coming last in the mother's race.

YABU.

Why should sports day be banned because a few don't like it. I've never seen a child cry over it at our school. They all enjoy a day out at the field, cheering for each other. Parents can either go or not.

Ours are done in houses and there are about 7 obstacles set out and each class moves around the different obstacles and the houses race against each other. So individually it doesn't matter but it's the overall house that wins. Last year they did have an assembly and 6 children from each class got medals for different things, sportsmanship, determination etc. I thought it was great and much better than the year before where every child got a certificate regardless of what they had done. DS got a bronze in throwing which wasn't what they gave him on the actual day so it was literally made up just to give everyone something, which I don't agree with.

It's just a bit of fun fgs.

I am afraid life can be about shinibg a light on your crapness just as much as somedays you shine.

These lessons need to ge taught by parents to kids as soon as possible.

Kids who are cosseted and protected from the bumps in life cannot cope when they hit the teenage years where you need every scrap of resilience going.

As for keeping kids off sports day incase they are devestated and humiliated because they won't get a medal. Honestly words fail me except to say please please parent better than that. You are doing your kids no favours.

Wow you guys have very different schools. At DS's school the kids were split into teams with each team including a range of ages (and I'm willing to bet ability). The whole lot had a minute or two to do as many relays of the space hopper/egg and spoon/whatever as they could in the time, then move onto the next thing. DS was prancing around and missed half his turns. Some of the kids wandered off to hug their parents. It didn't really matter, the more attentive/sporty kids carried on. The results were for the team not the individual so if you're rubbish or great nobody really notices. The winning team was probably the one that cooperated and encouraged each other. The P7's (Year 6's in English) marshaled the juniors, enjoyed the responsibility and some showed great leadership skills. If you don't think sports day is working at your DC's school you need to lobby your schools to do it differently.

I think YABU.

It was DD's (age 6) KS1 and 2 sports day yesterday and it was a really really lovely afternoon. Lots of different races with everyone taking part, based on winning for your house, not individual success. All children got to run/skip/sack/obstacle at least two races chosen by them.

DD is no great athlete (middle of the pack), but has really struggled with things attended by parents (usually she ends up in floods of tears on my lap at the Christmas concert or harvest festival) and it was great to see her enjoying this enough to be able to cut out her fear of performing in public.

I didn't see one child crying, just happy giggling faces. It felt very inclusive and engaging - but lots of mums crying when they saw their children able to get past physical and emotional difficulties to take part or join in when they had previously refused. Very much a "your role is to take part and do your best" ethos.

I think if children are being bullied over lack of sporting prowess (or anything else) then that is what the school needs to address, not cancel something fun for so many.

Why can't kids who are good at running, throwing and cooperating with others in a team have their day? Let's not have school plays or school choirs either. No spelling tests or times table tests. No whole school recognition for good citizenship. No praise for children who make good efforts in any area of school life.
YABVVVU

king agree it really brings out the teamwork and general niceness of kids cheering on their peers.

like the idea of the older kids marshalling the little ones too. Great skills.

There's a lot of weirdness in mumsnet.

Oh and I too put my money where my mouth was and did do the mother/grandma/carer race. Hilariously competitive with some mothers stripping down to running gear and changing into proper running shoes. Much like DD I came about middle to end of the pack and happy to see her laughing her dead off at my lack of skill.

Shouldwestay - My kids do clap for the children who get medals, they are very gracious, but they are upset when they get home. Not because they don't have a medal but because they feel like they are crap and rubbish. They don't have a cat in hells chance of ever winning an event at sports day with their problems. I don't think they should be forced to take part if they don't want to. That said, I will repeat the fact that I do think sports days should go ahead for those who want to participate and they should be rewarded for that.

With regards to children being awarded for maths and English - nope, our school certainly never reward for being good at these things. They reward for effort, or behaviour or being a good role model but no one gets a gold medal for being the best at maths because it would be unfair and cruel to the children who are no good at maths through no fault of their own.
I just wonder why sports at school are thought of differently - because forcing a child to participate and then watching other children getting rewarded for something that they never have a chance of winning seems pretty cruel too.

I suspect this is more about competitive parents than their kids giving a stuff actually.

I have never ever seen anything but happy smiling yelling kids at a sports day.

Lady if they say they are crap you just pat on the back tell them they are fantastic at whatever they are fantastic at and move on.

If kids are allowed to opt out of things they can't excel at my dd would have stopped maths.

Resilience and accepting you can't win them all is vital to good mental health as they get older.

Pp who said groups going round doing different activities while parents followed sounds ideal

They do this at my DD's primary, and all children have to participate. In 11 years of sports days, I've never seen any child upset. This is followed by more traditional races (100m, 400m, egg and spoon etc) and this part is optional for the children. Most do participate though, even those who are not too great at running. The rest sit and cheer the runners on. It seems to work well.

Learning that it's ok to fail is important for building resilience. Being publicly humiliated when you do, not so much.

YABVU. Sports day is a chance for kids who are good at sport to shine. They may not be academic. This could be their favourite day of the year. For dc who are not do good at sport, it's your chance to teach them about resilience. Life is full of things we might not be good at and we can't just stay at home for them or avoid them all.

I have never seen any dc humiliated or upset at our sports days - some events are competitive (running races), some are not (throwing, long jump - small groups so not all attention on one person). If a school is humiliating dc, then that's a different matter.

But if you're poor at an academic subject you have to keep doing it, in front of the whole class; you don't get the option to give it up.

I seriously cannot picture these scenarios where children who aren't good at sports are crying and carrying on! Sports day certainly was never what I looked forward to in the school Caldendar- I knew I was crap at sports. My class and the teachers knew I was crap at sports too. My parents knew I was crap at sports. So what. Was still expected to muck in and be pleased for the kids who were good at sports, and cheer everybody, not sit there feeling sorry for myself. On the other hand it was always my artwork that got picked for the big displays in the hall. Swings and roundabouts.