To want to ban primary school sports day?

[namechangingagainagain]

I HATE sports day. I REALLY REALLY hate it!
Don't get me wrong as a child I was sporty. I did well at sports day and loved it.

However now I'm a parent Ive had to drag DS6 to school this morning. I have 3 school age children. They are all competitive but only the eldest is good at sport. He liked sports day. The other 2 found it the most painful day of the year.

Don't get me wrong they can all play a board game and lose without too much bother. They are all active and fit. They just hate sports day..... the sitting around...... the cheering parents...... DS aged 9 said " I hate it when they clap you and you're last.... it's really humiliating....."

It seems once you get to high school it's more opt in... which is fine.
FWIW I'm not anti-competitive at all but it just seems to me when they are little they don't have the emotional intelligence to cope with it ( or maybe it's just my children...)

( and yes I probably just should have let him have the day off in hindsight )

I loved sports day at primary school, despite being generally fairly rubbish - I was definitely an academic child but not a sporty one. My first three school reports said "more enthusiasm than ability" with a grade of C1.

That year, the school pianist for assembly donated a cup for the best girl and best boy at sports day. Guess who won it?

My primary school teacher is now in her 80s and STILL remembers it whenever I see her as proof that there are no certainties in life and that we can all be wrong.

I never won it again and was pretty damn useless at secondary school sports. But I still have my trophy....

when visitors, parents and helpers come into schhol to listen to the kids read, I would like to ban that too. Particularly for the painfully shy, the dyslexic or those who can't read very well. Also school assemblies where they have to read aloud or perform drama as part of the curriculum. Yes that should be completely banned just in case a child doesn't want to do it or a parent can't bear to watch. No point encouraging them to try new things or develop a weak part of themselves, there's definitely no point in taking part in something you're not entirely competent at. No, we shouldn't celebrate the talent, effort and tenaciousness off all the disciplined, sporty kids.

Sports education is so poor in this country at state primary level. Why the hell would you want to ban the only day of the year where the school community can celebrate sport competitively together?

Yes but as been repeatedly pointed out they may also excel in everything, so sports day is yet another time for them to get a round of applause.

What? So children are not allowed to be good at both and get credit for it? Good grief!!!! No wonder our country is shit at everything!!! It is forbidden!!!!!!!!!!

Thecountess

I really can't answere you regarding public humiliationas I have never seen or heard of such at a children's sports day?

Sounds like an absolutely god awful school really.

whatamidoing

You couldn't make it up could you.

DD's school thankfully had dropped the Parents' Race before she started at the school because of some ridiculous parents using running spikes.

We all followed our children around the various events and when they had finished their tug of war there was a second one for children and parents together. I don't think anyone minded joining in with that.

The main thing was that it was a very sociable day. You could catch up with other parents who you didn't see that often and after the events the children would just run around the field and play together. (The staff would head for the pub!!!)

'I really can't answere you regarding public humiliationas I have never seen or heard of such at a children's sports day?

Sounds like an absolutely god awful school really.'

I don't know how old you are, Shouldwe, but sports days where one child comes in miles after everyone else in their race and everyone laughs were very common in my day., both primary and secondary. It was god-awful, it was humiliating, and i don't believe for a minute it helped build resilience.

Thankfully more schools now handle the whole thing more sensitively with a mixture of competitive and non-competitive events, more flexibility and choice about what you take part in, and with a more co-operative atmosphere and more focus on good sportsmanship rather than winning, which means kids of a range of abilities can enjoy it. It is really not hard.

We are a country with an obesity crisis and the last thing we want to be doing right now is putting children off sport by an excessive focus on competition rather than on the inherent enjoyability of the activities.

I am 52 and have 4 kids and one grandchild.

I have attended sports days that had whole class races, boys v girls, fun races, smaller sports races with mixed ages and abilities and with my one very sporty dd county races. My oldest ds is not sporty in the least so have years of sports day experience from 1969 to the last attended in 2015.

I have never ever seen any child devestated or humiliated but lots of laughing cheering and team work.

I do remember coming in last and getting clapped around the age of 7 and can honestly say I survived as my parents taught me from early years win and loose gracefully.

It was a life lesson and so glad they did.

I'm glad you had a better experience of school sports than many other kids did, but your experience sadly is not universal, and many adults now (you often hear this from people taking up running again as adults after a long gap) experienced the whole business as miserable and cite having been put off by school sports as one of the reasons why they don't like exercise.

We all have to do things we don't like. It's life.

It's just one day. (or in reality, an hour or so). None of my kids are sporty, yes it's the same ones who usually win all the time but our school mostly does relay or team races so the children are competing as part of a team.

It's a valuable life lesson to know that you're not great at everything. Don't like the "everyone's a winner" ethos really, it's not how real life works.

Children who find it so painful to take part or humiliating need to be helped by their parents to overcome this and realise it's not the be all and end all. I always tell my kids that I don't care if they win, I just want to see them trying their best.

My kids' school runs an annual team-based sports day which is fairly non-competitive. So they have a yellow team, green team, red team etc. - each made up of 6-8 children from different classes/age groups. I think it's a much better idea for young kids than competitive sports days. If they're sporty, they can get involved in competitive sports in other ways. My kids do competitive sports outside school.

I've experienced sports day at both DD's schools and she's always loved them. At her first school they did them from Kindergarden upwards and they got Red badges for 1st, green badges and, importantly, yellow badges for effort/sportsmanship etc. They competed for their houses and in the relays they deliberately got put into groups of mixed abilities. All worked great.

At her new school (Yr 8) she competed just for her house and the parents only arrived once they had done all the field sports. The children could only do one running race each (plus house relays) which meant that they all had to compete in something. If they were modest the other children cheered them on and even ran along side them in longer distance races. None of them seemed to feel anything but pleasure and inclusion on the day.

I'd suggest it is all about how the school manage the day..

Would people feel the same about a public Maths-bee for instance.... the whole school and parents come to the school hall, and each and every child is publicly put through their paces in various maths exercises, competitively against each other.

A great confidence boost for those already good at maths (and who already probably have confidence), but crushing to those who aren't, potentially destroying the little confidence they have.... with the sympathetic but humiliating applause for the dimmest child who manages to get one of their 3x times table right.

Yes, life if competitive, but in general we choose how to compete... We don't have to compete so publicly in front of our peers and parents.

Yes, children who are good at sport do have a right to shine, but they'll do that I the sports clubs they're in.

Yes, children have to learn how to deal with failure, but to do this in such a public and sometimes humiliating way seems unnecessarily cruel, and counter-productive in the loss of confidence it causes leading to potentially a lifelong avoidance of physical exercise.

So, I agree, Sports Day does more harm than good.

YABU . Sports day is one of the many things both and school and beyond that some may hate, even find humiliating but has many plus points too, so no it should be stopped and keeping your child home wouldn't have been teaching him the right attitude.

If you have spent any amount of time in a school you will know hat most children naturally cope with sports day, not only that but they support and admire their peers, and graciously. Projecting your own adult opinions and fears onto them is not healthy.

Some children are desperate to play sport outside of school but the parents aren't interested or able to help them, or they have poor attitudes to sport and failure.

If we ban sports days we must also ban other activities that take place in school where anyone is watching:

-end of year performances
-assemblies
-performances where a whole year group has been trying to learn to play an instrument
-art work on walls
-singing if parent are present

I was rubbish at sports, my kids are too. I always came last but I accepted that and just got through it. I had my time when I won the art prize most years. Sporty kids deserve their moment of glory too.

I hated sports day, I was never any good at athletics but enjoyed tea, sports.

My eldest child is a brilliant sportsperson. He has SEN and finds regular school hard so we all love being able to celebrate what he is good at - sports.

My middle child is much more academic and didn't do badly in sports day but she's never going to win either. But I still loved watching her enjoy herself.

They still have to take part in things they might not be so good at, just like unsporty children have to do sports day too. You can't win everything. Our school all seem to have great team spirit and all cheer each other on and get up and run with children who are struggling.

Get a grip.
Some are good at sports, some aren't. That's life. Some people are better at certain things than others.
We can't mollycoddle them forever.

I do think a lot of it depends on the school's attitude to it - I know that, for e.g., anyone laughing at someone coming last would be a HUGE no-no at our primary school. Instead, everyone encourages all the runners - mostly by house rather than name.

I'd be really cross if I heard any child/adult laughing at someone's less-than-great performance and I think THAT behaviour would need addressing sharpish.

Oblamov so you'd be happy with children competing in maths and literacy in front of all their parents then?

And art? And music?

We could have quick fire mental arithmetic quizzes..and spelling tests....pitting one child against another...and when the slower child...the less bright one...fails and feels embarrassed, we will all tell them to toughen up.

Yes?

TheCountess

Any adult on here over 45 was probably slapped at school. I agree kids were far more used to humiliation 40 + years ago but really that's not happening now or the last 30 years really in general.

You are projecting your own adult memories of childhood onto your kids.

Many adults Blame their hate of sports on school sports and it's generally the case that they hated sports as a child and still do or they find a sport that suits them better as an adult.

Again I would say it's resilience kids need and learning to loose and win well is a great life skill

Thumb DD told me that a lot of the snide remarks go on when the teachers are not looking.

Of course they do. No child would laugh openly. Unless they had social issues of course.

Should would you say then, that the same should go for displays of intelligence?

And that it's only fair if kids are pitted against one another academically in public too? Or is it just ok to do this with sports?