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Original poster

To want to ban primary school sports day?

394 replies

namechangingagainagain · 29/06/2016 09:20

I HATE sports day. I REALLY REALLY hate it!
Don't get me wrong as a child I was sporty. I did well at sports day and loved it.

However now I'm a parent Ive had to drag DS6 to school this morning. I have 3 school age children. They are all competitive but only the eldest is good at sport. He liked sports day. The other 2 found it the most painful day of the year.

Don't get me wrong they can all play a board game and lose without too much bother. They are all active and fit. They just hate sports day..... the sitting around...... the cheering parents...... DS aged 9 said " I hate it when they clap you and you're last.... it's really humiliating....."

It seems once you get to high school it's more opt in... which is fine.
FWIW I'm not anti-competitive at all but it just seems to me when they are little they don't have the emotional intelligence to cope with it ( or maybe it's just my children...)

( and yes I probably just should have let him have the day off in hindsight )

OP posts:
TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 29/06/2016 10:19

There's 'not doing great' and there's 'coming so far behind everybody else that you stick out and are afraid you will be laughed at.'
I don't think it's helpful to the discussion to elide the two.
If a kid who is good at everything else gets in a snit because they don't win all their races then yes there are issues there that they need to work on. You won't convince me not to feel sympathy for the 'last by miles' kid, though.

chopchopchop · 29/06/2016 10:20

DD is dyspraxia and has no 3-d vision. Sports day is a trial, and she does think its unfair that she doesn't get to show off her reading in front of the parents.

But yes, I think your school could handle it a bit better. Ours are pretty good - they have Year 6s lined up to run with any child that is visibly falling behind so they are not on their own. Plus when DD did race, and ended up 3/4 of a lap behind the rest of her class, the entire group of parents cheered her to the very end.

But even then, they are aware of the public nature of it and - as a result of some bullying based around being crap at sport in a couple of classes - are looking at how they can manage it even better. (oh, and DD has been offered the day off this year, but didn't want to take it)

diplodocus · 29/06/2016 10:21

I don't see why everyone should have to do something they're not good at (or don't want to do) in public. It should be a choice whether they do it, same as it would always be a choice for a child to sing a solo, or take a lead in a play. And this idea that it's "some children's chance to shine" - fine but they're doing it at the expense of other kids. That would be unacceptable in any other subject. And quite often it's the same ones who are good at other stuff anyway!

RatherBeIndoors · 29/06/2016 10:22

I love the sound of the school in a PP's description where children who find the whole thing mortifying can join in holding the ribbon/keeping scores etc. Perfect. I wouldn't ban sports day (although I loathed it) but I would ban parents attending. It should be an internal school thing IMO.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 29/06/2016 10:22

And also: people talk as if the non academic kids get to be good at sports so it all balances out in the end. It doesn't. Some kids are brilliant at everything, others struggle with everything and sports day risks just piling sports failure on top of academic failure if it's not handled sensitively.

IcedCoffeeToGo · 29/06/2016 10:23

Are we pretending that kids don't know who the clever kids are?

Really?

Some children that are good at sport deserve to be rewarded with coming first, it may well be the only time they are the best at something.

At our sports day the kids who were really fat and super last, along with the kids with special needs and the kids with physical disabilities were defeated with roars and cheers.... it was a very teary moment to see parents and children alike getting behind these kids.

HeartOnTheLine · 29/06/2016 10:24

I disagree with you saying that sports day should be banned, they are children; it is really not about the winning its about participating.

My child's sports day was on Monday and I heard one of parents say "The other kids don't stand a chance running against that little mixed black child" referring to my child!! Sports isn't his thing but he is a little fast runner.

Every child is good at something.

WorraLiberty · 29/06/2016 10:24

I thought primary school sports days were all wishy washy wanky 'There are no winners and no losers. Everyone's a winner just for taking part' kind of bollocks?

That's how it is around here anyway. It's all team games, so no individual child gets to shine or wine anything independently.

The effects of this sort of thinking, will become apparent during the forthcoming Olympics, just as it normally does.

IcedCoffeeToGo · 29/06/2016 10:24

DEFEANED

moosemama · 29/06/2016 10:24

Two of my dcs, ds1 - who has ASD and finds being on show and all the noise, shouting and clapping really hard to cope with and ds2 who has Joint Hypermobility Syndrome hated primary sports day with a passion, but my dd loves it, as did I.

It took until about year 5 for their primary school to agree to the boys helping out with scoring etc, instead of competing. From then on they enjoyed it. Ds2 is in year 7 this year and he's actually decided to take part, but they only have to choose one event, so he has picked the egg and spoon race, which hopefully won't cause him any pain or injuries.

I do think, for some children, it's an excruciatingly embarrassing and humiliating day and as others upthread have said, those that aren't as good at other subjects in school aren't subjected to public humiliation for not being able to do certain things.

I'm not sure what the answer is though, as even if pupils with disabilities and/or SEN were given the option of opting out, there would still be lots of children that dread the public spectacle side of it and would also prefer not to compete.

I do wonder if it was an in-school event, rather than having the parents there as well some pupils might prefer it, as it wouldn't feel so 'public' because they're all used to doing PE with their classes anyway.

IcedCoffeeToGo · 29/06/2016 10:25

DEAFENED

Jesus

ShelaghTurner · 29/06/2016 10:25

I wish they'd ban it but only because it bores the arse off me Wink DDs don't mind it and I always go and cheer them on with good grace because they want me to and that's one of the reasons I'm a SAHM. But it's really dull, sorry dd1 Grin

whois · 29/06/2016 10:25

So your kids are shit at sport, and you want to take away somethign that lots of children enjoy? Being outside, taking part, having fun?

Teachyour children a little about ressiliance perhaps.

WorraLiberty · 29/06/2016 10:25

'wine' anything independently?? Grin

That would be 'win'. Although I'm sure the parents and teachers will need wine to cope.

Homemama · 29/06/2016 10:25

I wouldn't ban sports day, I'd just not invite the parents. Then there would be no argument for public humiliation. In class they know very well who is top and who is bottom in the academic sense so the rest of the class finding out who is the fastest/slowest is no different. There is no reason why parents need to be there and got must it's just another half day off they need to arrange.

grannytomine · 29/06/2016 10:27

My kids all did well at school, all went to grammar school. The two who also excelled at sport didn't need a moment to shine. They were top academically, they played for the county in more than one sport. They were useless at drama and music but obviously weren't expected to humiliate themselves by doing a solo.

VioletBam · 29/06/2016 10:31

I agree OP. It's outdated. Performance sports is for kids who enjoy it and excel. They LIKE competing in public.

I have two kids. One is great at sports and the other is BAD at sports.

I wouldn't feel my DD would lose out if she didn''t have sports day. She can shine all day in her netball team when they compete.

Why should the kids who are bad at it be publicly humiliated? It's shit.

Imagine if we had public spelling tests or mental arithmetic days!

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 29/06/2016 10:31

I think if it's handled well enough there aren't MANY that really really won't want to take part. One of the things my kids' school does is to call one of the races a 'fun run' and it doesn't score house points, and they seem to volunteer for that regardless of ability. I do think it's perfectly possible for competitive and non competitive activities to coexist - doesn't have to be one or the other.

VioletBam · 29/06/2016 10:32

Whois OP said one of her kids is good at sports.

Why shouldn't it be taken away? I say that if people are willing to have public days for art, maths and literacy where the kids who are good at THOSE things can shine, then scrap sports day.

Snowflakes1122 · 29/06/2016 10:34

My eldest is 10 and she hates sports day. She doesn't like all the parents watching and she hates being forced to take part.
I didn't mind it as a child, but I do think they should be given the option to choose which activities they want to take part in.

Mischa123 · 29/06/2016 10:37

I wish sports day was banned at my kids school too, only because it is non competitive and drives me mad, as some of the pp have said, this is the sporty kids day to shine, what if they are not academic and this is the one day that they get the praise and Kudos. Seriously, your child doesn't like so you keep them off school?

ghostspirit · 29/06/2016 10:39

i think the children should be able to choose if they want to do it. adults dont do that kind of thing unless they want to. so why should kids have to.

MaddyHatter · 29/06/2016 10:39

my school do a mix of 'team' sports, where they pit each class against their other year class on a points based system.

There are three yr 3/4 classes, so they'll do things like kicking ball at a goal, throwing bean bags in a ring, javelin, hoopla, a little balance obstacle course, they get points for accuracy/speed, and then they're totted up and the class with the most points 'wins'.

Then they do some running races, like the traditional egg and spoon, flat race, sack race...etc so the individuals can shine.

Its a good mix!

LaundryFairy · 29/06/2016 10:41

Would one possible solution be to not invite the parents? That would eliminate the public aspect of it and all of the pitfalls it can bring.

I never enjoyed sports day at my school, but parents weren't invited, so there was no sence of public humiliation to be endured (or smugness from any of the parents of athletic children).

Cleo1303 · 29/06/2016 10:41

DD loved it and so did all the other children at her prep school. They thought it was terrific to get a day off school. Children who weren't good at a particular event just laughed it off, and everyone got a loud cheer for trying. All the children encouraged their friends.

In the morning the little ones moved round seven events - egg and spoon, getting a ball through the hoop, throwing the bean bag, etc., and had a lot of fun. First three got a sticker saying they had come 1st, 2nd or 3rd, and everyone else got a "Good Try" sticker.

Then there was a picnic lunch with parents, followed by the older children's events in the afternoon - long jump, high jump, javelin, shot put and races.

They were all keen to do well for their house and get the cup at the end of the afternoon but it was treated as a fun afternoon, not a hugely competitive one.

I liked sport at my prep but loathed it at my senior school. DD loves it - prep and secondary - and I am very happy about that. Parents don't go to sports day at her secondary school - we can if we want but our children don't think it's cool to have parents there - but I have very fond memories of all the sports days she enjoyed when she was younger.