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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

or is anyone else feeling unsettled and just want today to be over

733 replies

Gowgirl · 23/06/2016 13:02

Yes I have voted, but I am sick and tired of the unrest, I'm aware there has been a lot of discontent for a long time but its now feeling toxic and I want it to be over one way or the other.

OP posts:
LittleLionMansMummy · 23/06/2016 14:44

Nervous and excited. Excited because it feels momentous and I always get this feeling about voting, but to a lesser extent with the general election. Nervous because although I voted remain, I'm scared about what the future holds if it's an 'out' vote. My Facebook is awash with comments, much more so than in a general election. Most of the people I know are Remain but I suspect I'll be getting defriended by one acquaintance. I've tried to keep it light and humorous throughout, but today, well today feels very serious and I'm getting quite angsty.

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 23/06/2016 14:45

it would be ace for their careers if we vote remain, same for every leave politician: forever more they can trot out how they urged the people out of Europe and now look what happened when the people didn't follow them (insert any social problem you like, they'll pin it all on remain FOREVER)

Theoretician · 23/06/2016 14:46

Betfair odds suggested 77% probability of remain when I looked between 8am and 9am this morning, now up to 85%.

The80sweregreat · 23/06/2016 14:46

shove, that's sad to hear, I hope she will be okay.
I think that it will drop out of the news eventually - something else will happen and in a years time we would have forgotten this ever happened!
they have in Scotland I think?
try not too worry too much -

shovetheholly · 23/06/2016 14:49

Question for people who know about odds: how much are they a reflection of the actual probability the bookmaker is associating with an event, and how much are they a reflection of the financial spread of bets to ensure that the loss isn't too great in either case?

Obviously the two are deeply interconnected, but if someone could explain this to me I would be grateful.

didofido · 23/06/2016 14:49

Why are people so very worried? It's only a vote - it's called democracy. We'll have good times and bad whoever wins.

shovetheholly · 23/06/2016 14:50

And thanks the80s. I am all over the place today. I know it's stupid but a few kinds words make a lot of difference.

Musicinthe00ssucks · 23/06/2016 14:50

I know what you mean OP. I am sick of the arguing and tension. I'm off FB today and probably for the rest of the week. And I am royally pissed off with being told how to vote by FB 'friends', the media and politicians.

Sallystyle · 23/06/2016 14:51

I only have one person on fb who is annoying me today.

She keeps posting that it will be us 'IN' voters who are to blame when children can no longer get a school place, or our jobs are stolen by immigrants. Those who vote remain have no brain and the ability to think ahead and care more about immigrants. We are going to ruin the NHS and children's education if we get our way.

I keep her for entertainment value. Not so entertaining today though.

Wynona · 23/06/2016 14:51

Shove, your comment puts things in perspective. Wishing you and your family well.

As others have said, we all need to live together and kindness goes a long way.

Kitsa · 23/06/2016 14:52

Upset about this one, more than usual, because it affects me so much personally. Canadian husband and I came into England with him as my EU spouse because I had been living in Ireland, where he had been recognised as my husband under EU law, and it was easier to do that than to get a uk spousal permit which would have entailed 6 months of separation while I earned 18,600 to bring him in under the 2012 reforms. Went the EU route instead, all legal. Got our permits to come into UK no problem, husband earns well over threshold, live near my family, all lovely. First baby in Nov, my mum's first, much wanted and adored grandchild. Aunts, uncles, great-grandparents, a whole life.

Then application to remain refused. From what I hear, they're just refusing everyone who came in under this route now www.gov.uk/family-permit/surinder-singh claiming we're all liars who just used residence in another country to get into the UK. Not true, I have roots in Ireland and have been going there my whole life. My grandma has lived there 40 years. I was living there because I liked it there. Not to sneak into the UK. But how do you prove what you were thinking in the past? You can't. You can only state what your intentions are, they say you're lying, and you can't prove you're not.

So we're leaving. Packing up our house and taking our baby away from his family. We have never taken a penny off the state. My husband works his butt off in his council job and they don't want him to go. But we're going, back to Ireland. Then they won't give his passport back for us to go anywhere except Canada. It's "policy." Fun fact about about the harassment of immigrants in the UK - it's outsourced. To a company called Capita. If you ask them a question, say, can I have my passport sent to the airport so it's only handed over when I fly out of the UK, they say we can't tell you that, we don't know because we're not actually the Home Office. Can you speak to someone from the Home Office? Can you hell. So we have to spend thousands of (borrowed) pounds flying to Canada, and then back to Ireland, just to get the passport back. Or wait for SOLVIT (problem solving network within the EU commission who have advised us that DH's passport being held is unlawful) to get it back for us, but that's uncertain, they may well just be stonewalled as we have been, and DH leaves his job next week, and we leave our house. We're moving into a caravan on my grandma's farm. Will support ourselves freelancing (as have done in the past.)

And on top of it all this sodding referendum, which if it turns out a leave result, will make it that much harder for us to get into Ireland. I am eligible for an Irish passport, as it happens, and can take him in that way eventually, but that requires me to be the sponsor, and I have been a SAHM. it is easier to go in as EU citizen and spouse, which we have the right to do whether the Home Office recognises it or not. That's what we did when we lived there before. Where we never took a penny from the state. If we leave it won't take effect immediately but it may well make individual border officials reluctant to let us into the country. (It is always at their discretion, whether you have a legal right to be there or not.) Then we may have spent thousands flying out to Ireland via Canada, only to be turned around and sent back to Canada with our 7mo. Where I have no firm right to be either, until we go through the application process, which we haven't because we wanted to live here, near family, which we are not going to be able to do. Which I can accept, it's the way the shitty cookie has crumbled, but I hate seeing my mum cry because she doesn't want her daughter and grandson to be forced to leave.

So I will be anxiously watching for the results of this referendum while I pack my whole life into stupid cardboard boxes.

& all that is really tangential to this thread so feel free to ignore, but it was cathartic to type.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 23/06/2016 14:52

I am so worried too. I have fewer on my fb than I used to. With the gloom and rain, today feels awful.

DeliasPancakes · 23/06/2016 14:52

I want to go to bed now and forget it's all happening. Staying away from FB for the rest of today after awful comments from friends and family towards me. It appears I'm in the minority and it scares me.

CarlGrimesMissingEye · 23/06/2016 14:52

I just want to know the outcome now. It's horrible. All the worst slagging of of other on my Facebook feed has come from remainers. People I liked before have proved themselves offensive bastards. Not all but some. No one is really coming out of this well politically!

Pr1mr0se · 23/06/2016 14:53

I don't think feeling unsettled has anything to do with the referendum, I think it is the humidity that last night storm failed to clear!

Janeymoo50 · 23/06/2016 14:55

The humidity here (in Kent fgs!!!) is making me unsettled but, what's annoying me is people saying "it'll be all different tomorrow when we've left the EU". It'll take a couple of years to go through I believe. Someone even said to me "as of Friday no more immigrants!!!", I almost spat my tea out.

I did however have an interesting chat with a younger work colleague who was really torn, I said voting out is like sending a drunk text or email to an ex or work colleague, you can't change your mind but voting remain might mean another chance to change her mind at some point in her adult life (not mine probably). I'm not sure I really knew what I meant but she kind of git the point I think.

bakeoffcake · 23/06/2016 14:58

"No more immigrants from Friday". Are these people really so thick?!

If we do leave there will be more immigrants coming over for several years (which I'm fine with) as they'll be trying to beat any new system coming in.

I too have been feeling worried and unsettled. I just hope we remain.

RosesareSublime · 23/06/2016 14:59

ktsa capita seem to handle a huge amount of goc projects and they are shit, they did in labour time too by the way, i worked for them for a whie

bacimamma · 23/06/2016 14:59

"as of Friday no more immigrants" Nice Confused

RosesareSublime · 23/06/2016 14:59

government projects

bakeoffcake · 23/06/2016 15:00

Kitsa so sorry you are going through this, I do hope it works out for you Flowers

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 23/06/2016 15:01

Kitsa hugs
such a shitty situation for you xx

Kitsa · 23/06/2016 15:02

Roses interesting, DH has come across them at work too (housing) they do the training in debt recovery, he wasn't impressed with it. The lady I have spoken to was very professional (unlike the people DH spoke to) but I just feel like, if you're not empowered to do anything about my case or answer questions then why is your company being paid for me to talk to you!

Kitsa · 23/06/2016 15:03

Thank you bakeoff and Adulting I'm a state today a friendly word means a lot!

Wynona · 23/06/2016 15:04

Kitsa thank you for your post. It is stories like your that puts makes the vote so real. When all said and done, it does seem more likely that we will remain if the bookies are to be believed.

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