Is there a non homophobic definition of the word bent that me & Ds may be unaware of before I complain to school?

[Balletgirlmum]

Not very happy. Having various problems at school. Ds displays clear traits of asd but not being given reasonable adjustments. Also bullying happening.

Today in PE he was straitening the long jump measuring tape. Teacher asked what hecwas doing.

I'm straitening the tape cause it's bent.

Teacher replied - the only bent thing here is you.

Ds is not gay (he's only 12) but we have several family friends who are & older dd has lots of classmates at another schools who identify as lgbt.

AIBU to think that this isn't on?

OP you don't owe anyone anything. Well done for taking this forward and taking everyone's comments in the positive way they were intended. Hope you get what you want. Don't feel you must update if it's too personal to you.

Best of luck, OP.

All the best!

NewLife, bent is most definately a definition used to describe homosexuality just as to say you were straight around here would define heterosexuality. Just as both could also be used in the context of being honest or dishonest, as in straight as a die.
Op, sorry your ds is being put through and hope you can sort it out. My ds was diagnosed through paediatrcian too, he was referred by the school nurse.

The school nurse told us that she used to be allowed to refer direct to the asd unit but they were getting more referrals than they could cope with so they removed that power & now she cdm only refer to Camhs or advise you to go back to your GP.

Well, what a pity this thread is drawing to a close. There must be a few more posters who want to share their personal experiences of utterly shit, homophobic, racist, bullying teachers.

acasualobserver, I'm slightly struggling to see that homophobic teachers should get a free pass, when posters would rightly complain about homophobic-anything-else.

I'm gay and my children have on occasion had problems with this at school. Should a teacher actually add to that burden, would I follow the advice of some posters on this thread and 'give them the benefit of the doubt', winkle out alternative explanations, insist that no teacher would EVER behave like that so my child must be lying? Because someone somewhere feels that complaining about one teacher is some kind anti-teacherism? Hell, no.

And your determination that the reputation of teachers-as-a-political-class is more important than the welfare of the OP's son, makes no kind of sense.

acasualobserver, I'm slightly struggling to see that homophobic teachers should get a free pass

Where on earth did I say they should? (Feel free to quote me.)

It IS a pity yes. I'm sure if we had a few more pages we could further explore the etymology of 'bent', I could come up with a village in Ayrshire where 'you fucking bender' means 'hello sir, I admire your sporran greatly' and someone else could find a quote from Chaucer to the effect that 'He holped him fill his nether ye, full bender that he wis'. And we can all congratulate ourselves on having completely eradicated homophobia from public life in the UK because it never never never happens. Not even when a teacher tells a teenager he's 'bent'.

" it is difficult from a distance to know how it was said and how the majority around understood it."

No, it really isn't if you'd read all the OP's posts. Since she said this was what happened:
"Teacher has made similar comments in the past Ds can't remember specifics. Today other kids were around they laughed & said things like ha ha even sir thinks you're gay."

HTH.

And your determination that the reputation of teachers-as-a-political-class is more important than the welfare of the OP's son, makes no kind of sense

Hang on I didn't say that either. Or anything like it. Even vaguely. Do you usually just make up the views of other posters Spooky or are you giving me special treatment?

You should perhaps re-word your posts then, because I formed the same impression as Rachel.

As well as gay, not straight, not honest, bent over, 'bent' can also mean set on a particular action, "He was bent on straightening the tape" which although not the nicest way to put things could easily be applied to someone with Asperger's as often people with ASD are bent on a course of action.

Oh, ffs!

You should perhaps re-word your posts then, because I formed the same impression as Rachel

You'll have to explain how exactly. Because I'm not getting it. Also, before Spooky had a pop, I had only made one post. Refer to that one if you would.

As an ex-teacher and a parent of a now grown-up son with ADD and other disabilities I would like to say that whether the word referred to homosexuality or not the comment is completely unacceptable in the context of a pupil with any disability.
I would contact the Equality Advisory and Support Service as this comes under the heading of disability discrimination. It can take decades for parents and individuals to realise that they are subject to ableist attitudes because it often isn't something you suddenly experience it is all pervasive as sexism is. But it is damaging all the same and needs to be stood up against.
www.equalityadvisoryservice.com/app/help

Spooky and Tara I am very disappointed that you have ignored my requests that you clarify your criticisms of me. I think your behaviour is unpleasant and cowardly.

acasualobserver

You posted

Well, what a pity this thread is drawing to a close. There must be a few more posters who want to share their personal experiences of utterly shit, homophobic, racist, bullying teachers

I took that as a very sarcastic comment along the lines of how dare posters criticise teachers.

Lass I will, of course, respond to your comment. However, I'm hoping to hear from Spooky and Tara first.

Fair point. I'll check back on Sunday and Monday.

Yeah acasual it does seem like a sarcastic dig. Did you mean it to be? mypockets I reported your homophobic quip.

I am very disappointed that you have ignored my requests that you clarify your criticisms of me. I think your behaviour is unpleasant and cowardly.

What's to explain? As you pointed out, you've made one post, on this page, and even if you are suffering short-term memory loss, I'm sure your scrolling finger is working.

Well, what a pity this thread is drawing to a close. There must be a few more posters who want to share their personal experiences of utterly shit, homophobic, racist, bullying teachers

You were literally welcoming feedback, were you? [hmmm]

That post comes across as wanting to shut down discussion and comes across as resentful of people for relating negative experiences and it comes across that you see relating negative experiences as a victimisation of teachers.

Like I said, if you don't want people to form such an impression, perhaps you should rephrase?

Meanwhile, I'll be borrowing the victimisation hobbyhorse for not being expected to spend time off the internet.

The OP has gone. Can the last one turn the lights out please?