Is there a non homophobic definition of the word bent that me & Ds may be unaware of before I complain to school?

[Balletgirlmum]

Not very happy. Having various problems at school. Ds displays clear traits of asd but not being given reasonable adjustments. Also bullying happening.

Today in PE he was straitening the long jump measuring tape. Teacher asked what hecwas doing.

I'm straitening the tape cause it's bent.

Teacher replied - the only bent thing here is you.

Ds is not gay (he's only 12) but we have several family friends who are & older dd has lots of classmates at another schools who identify as lgbt.

AIBU to think that this isn't on?

Bent could mean crooked as in criminal, not working the way it should as in mind a bit bent, homosexual but the teacher probably meant it in the simple way of get on with what you should be doing i.e., I'm sharpening my pencil, the only thing that needs sharpening is you.

TheFallenMadonna EXACTLY!!

And anyone saying "Oh but, I really don't believe/think he meant that" -

He works with teenagers. He KNOWS what bent means. He said it to a child. He is a prick.

Polly- what? that doesn't make any sense at all.

I think he meant bent as in bent down

Oh please

The most depressing part of this thread is the number of "educators" trying to brush it away instead of taking the stance that this teacher was at best unprofessional and at worst homophobic and not of acceptable standard. One can only conclude that teachers telling the OP that they'll be a joke in the staffroom, wasting the head's time or going OTT are as unprofessional as him themselves. Sadly there are plenty of teachers who have realized they aren't really cut out for teaching but stay because either the pay cut would be too big or they don't have transferable skills and continue to inflict themselves on schools and their pupils.

Any comment along the lines "the only thing xxxxx around here is you" is usually meant as an insult. Unacceptable way to talk to a pupil whatever he meant.

You must complain, respectfully and through the appropriate channel, and say whatever the intention, your son was offended and he wants an apology. If nothing else it demonstrates to him how to stand up for himself appropriately.

If the culture is bad it may not get you anywhere but at least then you'll know and can refocus your efforts into finding a new school. I would not want to be (presumably) paying for a private school where my DS was at bed not thriving, and at the worst suffering from bullying by pupils and staff.

Good luck, I hope you get a good outcome for DS

It really is irrelevant what you posters think the word means.

Because the PE teacher made the comment when he knew the word means gay at that school. As confirmed by the fact that the other pupils are now making fun of OP's son by saying "even sir thinks you're gay"

In that area, everyone takes the word bent to mean gay, so the fact it has other meanings elsewhere means precisely nothing.

FWIW, bent means gay in my area (East Midlands).

bent = dodgy/corrupt
a bent politician or police man doesn't mean a gay one, it means an untrustworthy one

Because in the OP scenario the pupil was ajusting the measuring tape, I think it's pretty clear that the teacher was referring to cheating not homosexuality when he said "bent"

that doesn't make it an appropriate way to speak to a pupil, but I think the meaning is pretty clear - the teacher thought he was messing with the tape for less than honourable reasons

Not in schools.

Head........brick wall....

Just go in and ask

It really is irrelevant what you posters think the word means.

So why did OP ask us to say what else it might mean (head rolling against brick wall emoticon).

I'm astounded and saddened that after 13 pages of arguments over semantics some people are still so bloody mindedly not seeing this as the homophobia it is. My favourite comment is the one victim blaming the child for straightening up the tape measure as if he's up to no good.

I grew up hearing the term 'bent' being used to refer to boys/ men meaning they were likely to be homosexuals: as bent as a banana was the usual comment. It was always said as an insult. It's not a term I'd use to a young lad as a result. However - no idea is young people use that term anymore ( thankfully) or if that is what the teacher is inferring.

My favourite comment is the one victim blaming the child for straightening up the tape measure as if he's up to no good.

It's not victim blaming to think it's obvious that the teacher was accusing him of cheating rather than of being gay

That doesn't make it okay to speak to him like that, but I do think that given the tape measure thing, that's what he meant! Stop fiddling with the tape!

It was always "bent as a nine bob note" when I was growing up, as in, that person will cheat/short change you!

It was an insult , pure and simple , and extremely inappropriate of a teacher to make . The poor DC is now being bullied even more because of it .
You have to complain OP , who is going to stick up for your DS if you don't ??
I also have a son with ASD and it isn't easy , for them or us . We have to be their champions OP !!

Totally agree that the teacher would know all the derogatory uses of bent. But I imagine the words came out of his mouth as a retort to DS who was fiddling with the tape before he had a chance to think How it would sound. Foot in mouth moment. Either that - foolish mistake - or deliberate gross insult and he should be removed from his profession forthwith.

havent read the whole thread-lbent always meant gay down here in the south east london area

Maybe it's regional.
I know it to mean 'gay' - 'a bender' was a homosexual when I was growing up.

Yes - 'bent' meant crooked.

In the context of when and how it was said, and the reaction to those around who understood the comment, should make the inference obvious. it is difficult from a distance to know how it was said and how the majority around understood it.

"is difficult from a distance to know how it was said and how the majority around understood it."
Despite the fact that everyone on here who has asked a teenager confirms that "bent" is a derogatory word for "gay"?

Apostrophes

You are wrong, or disingenuous

And patronising

HTH

Police officers , solicitors and prison wardens can be bent meaning dodgy or crooked. I'm not sure any other group can. There really isn't any dubiety about the context here.

It's an uneccessary insult. It could be 'read' lots of ways.

Can you go into the school tomorrow and complain?

I'd give the teacher the benefit of the doubt in this case and make a note and file it away. If there's another similar incident you can raise it then as your doubts will have been confirmed .