Is there a non homophobic definition of the word bent that me & Ds may be unaware of before I complain to school?

[Balletgirlmum]

Not very happy. Having various problems at school. Ds displays clear traits of asd but not being given reasonable adjustments. Also bullying happening.

Today in PE he was straitening the long jump measuring tape. Teacher asked what hecwas doing.

I'm straitening the tape cause it's bent.

Teacher replied - the only bent thing here is you.

Ds is not gay (he's only 12) but we have several family friends who are & older dd has lots of classmates at another schools who identify as lgbt.

AIBU to think that this isn't on?

Because that would mean she hadn't heard of a reasonably significant play......?

It doesn't matter what the teacher meant or whether random people on this thread have never understood 'bent' to mean gay.

It is commonly used as a derogatory term meaning 'gay' and that is how the boys in this class understood it.

In the unlikely event that the teacher is unaware that he is using discriminatory language, he needs to get up to speed pronto. How can he do this if the OP says nothing?

Because, as far as jokes go, the play on words here is as subtle as a brick. If you can't recognise the homophobic allusion in the OP (a riposte that every other child in the class will have 'got'), I cannot see how you could explain anything more arcane in any play or work of literature.

If Thomas Bowdler had been of the same cast of mind as Apostrophes, he would never have seen the need to expurgate Shakespeare!

I am a former lecturer, this is completely unacceptable behaviour from the member of staff. The reason he makes comments like that is because no one has challenged him. Pupils in secondary school are treated with a lack of respect by most teachers. I was constantly getting comments from my students when they made the transition to college. I always took time to get to know my students and would certainly not call any of them names. In secondary school students are afraid to speak out at there are consequences like detention.

Make sure you complain and do it loudly too.

Good luck

Bent could mean damaged in an offensive way it does here x or it could have meant bent over I'm forever asking people who say things about my son (adhd with asd) in which context they meant things but I'm a bit straight and upfront when it comes to schools xx

Santina please don't presume you know what "most teachers" are doing. I don't presume to know how you are at work. Most secondary school teachers are brilliant and really kind and caring people, they wouldn't stay in the job if they weren't.

Unfortunately there are some who aren't, but don't label us as all the same. I don't judge all lecturers on the bad examples I have encountered.

It could have been meant to not actually refer to gay but it does sound like it was meant as an insult which is just not the way to speak to a student. Public humiliation attempts are never a strong teaching method!! Im a teacher BTW and I would have immediately questioned it. A quiet word might be the way to go.

Why can't you just ask the teacher what he meant?
I didn't know Bent could be slang for homosexual.
I have only lived in UK for 25 yrs so I get all sorts of words wrong & then British people insist to me that I must be lying when I say I never knew that meaning of a word (or a gesture) that they seem to think "everyone" knows. The more disrespectful the gesture/slang the less likely I've ever heard of it. The thing is, I get plenty of slang words wrong in my native culture, too. I may be an idiot but ignorant != bigot.

I had to teach adult English DH that marijuana = cannabis. People are ignorant about all sorts of obvious stuff (look at MN threads).

YABU! She probably meant bent as in bent over. You very well may be making something out of nothing (which doesn't reflect well on you.) Explain to your son what the true definition of bent is, ie NOT derogatory and NOT homophobic.

A secondary school PE teacher will be aware of the use of "bent" as homophobic banter.

Someone can be described as having an 'artistic bent' or a 'musical bent' i.e a leaning towards skill in that particular subject.

As an English teacher (and a mum) I would never ever use that kind of terminology to a child and I would not expect a colleague to either. Regardless of whether it was used in a homophobic way, the word is generally associated with negative connotations and would be something that SLT at school would take seriously if reported. You'd need to be very sure that what was said and how it was meant. Depending on teacher, school management and outcome, it could just be dismissed and life could then be trickier for your son if the person is vindictive, or it could result in more serious consequences for the teacher... tough call, but from a personal perspective I would never use that word to describe someone, particularly a child. However it was meant, however ambiguous the meaning, the very fact it could be misinterpreted means that kind of comment is totally unprofessional.

Seriously, the wide eyed disbelief is not appropriate here.

This is the kind of thing my mum and other 'Irish mammies' would use.
"Oh, this is bent,I'll fix it"- "the only bent thing here is you" cue laughter.
I'm just straightening this-the only straight thing here is you.
I'm just tidying this-the only tidy thing here is you....etc etc.
Irish mammies are in a class of their own though. It wouldn't be referring to sexuality though.

It doesn't matter what he meant. It's not on if it affects your son's confidence negatively or if he was being deregatory.

Having said that, my approach would be to find out what exactly he meant before accusing him of being homophobic (which is not a crime in itself).

Good grief! OF COURSE he meant gay. All over Scotland (except, it seems, the north) it means gay. It may also be used to mean corrupt, or literally bent or crooked- but neither of those make any sense in this context. An arsehole teacher playing for laughs at the expense of the OP's son.

Think it may have been a joke! You do sometimes say things as a teacher that are meant humorously and you realise later that they could be misconstrued. Think you are going ott to complain.

I would concur with people saying the teacher may have meant the child was bent over whilst straightening the tape. To my mind bending over / bent over is a perfectly standard usage of the word. If somebody referred to me as bent while I was bending over, that is what I would immediately assume before thinking it had any double meaning.

I'm sure it was a joke, but it was a homophobic one and therefore unacceptable.

Did your son feel uncomfortable about it . did any of his classmates make a joke about it after it was said .... if he did then i would mention it to his head / guidance teacher

Teacher should think before they say words like that to kids .. even if it was mean't as a joke .... it could be taken as meaning Gay or as others have said a bit bent as in shape .. or something dodgy i wouldn't be happy either

Whatever the teacher meant, the children understood that a person in authority had used a term that is commonly used in a homophobic way. The only conclusions they could draw from this would be some combination of:

1. Their P.E. teacher is an idiot
2. It's fine to use homophobic language
3. Being gay is wrong.
4. It's perfectly acceptable to bully people.

Any one of these interpretations is harmful and the school need to be notified. How can they do better if nobody tells them what is going on?

I actually find this threadreally depressing. Homophobia is endemic in schools, excused away as banter. It is quite horrible. If people have genuinely not heard of its use as a homophobic insult, then they really need to get educated, and stop trying to excuse it's use by someone who absolutely without doubt will be familiar with it in that context. Otherwise they are just contributing to the problem.

Rogue apostrophe. The shame.

My instinct, based on experience (and probably some prejudice on my part) of PE teachers bullying kids who are 'different' especially non-sporty or artsy, is that it sounds like homophobic 'banter' and is unacceptable. No teacher could possibly be unaware that bent means gay

No, you're not being unreasonable. "Bent" is definitely a homophobic slur. No other definition makes sense in this context. (Maybe apart from literally being bent down, but why would the teacher phrase it in that way?)