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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel frustrated at my DH reaction to paid for holiday?

414 replies

Nala1982 · 20/06/2016 00:35

A relative of ours has won some money and paid for all the family to go to Florida. The family is so appreciative and excited all apart from DH. Despite the fact that it is our kid's dream holiday, DH says it is not his idea of a holiday and would we mind if he spent 50% alone away from the disney/water park bullshit we are planning. Yes, I do mind because this family member has paid for us to go and it's cost thousands - and also because I will need him to help me keep an eye on the 2 DC's.

His lack of enthusiasm is actually embarrassing me. The family member who paid has already mentioned that he does not seem interested at all. DH says he appreciates the thought but he would much rather do a cheap holiday to Spain. I am mortified.

OP posts:
peachpudding · 20/06/2016 12:57

Why should DH be forced to give up 2 weeks contact with his DC in the summer holiday just because wealthy relatives want a family party?

If someone suggested I wasn't going to get the summer holiday I had planned with my kids and on top of that I wouldn't get to see my DC for those 2 weeks I would tell them to get lost.

DH seems to have been railroaded into agreeing to this and now he has to act like a cheerleader for it? What has he actually done except roll his eyes that is so bad?

areyoubeingserviced · 20/06/2016 13:00

I agree with your dh on this one.
I would not be able to cope with two weeks at Disney. The fact that I have to feel grateful for it would piss me off tbh.

FaFoutis · 20/06/2016 13:02

I agree with your DH too.

Dixiechickonhols · 20/06/2016 13:06

The time to speak up was before he agreed to go. I'd speak to him just the two of you. If he is going to be miserable better he doesn't come. You can usually reclaim the tax on his flight and if you are onsite with free dining eat his credits. Seems a bit daft if he wants a pool type holiday with the dc though as he can have that at disney.

trafalgargal · 20/06/2016 13:06

*60% of two weeks? So 8 days in Disney etc?

Wow he is SO not being unreasonable. 4 days is plenty.^

I'm guessing you've never visited WDW -it's a lot bigger than the California or Paris parks - Four days realistically wouldn't be long enough.

I love Disney but we certainly don't spend all day every day in the parks -it's simply too much. A "full day there" for us might be go early for a few hours head back to the hotel or villa for lunch, pool time, chill out naps and go back in the evening -for dinner, fireworks, parade or just a few rides.

Big groups do tend to breakout naturally as different people want to do different rides/parks/have different energy levels so it is wise to have several cars , not just for in the day but even if you are all together a car is handy to take tired kids back whilst someone else goes and picks up pizza for everyone.

OP I'm wondering what your husband thinks he can do in Spain that he can't do in Orlando (apart from swim in the sea although a day trip to a beach resort is very do-able) . Is he usually off by himself on normal family holidays or does he interact with your children , play with them etc I must admit I wouldn't be seeing my husband's roles as there to help me with the kids as much as being pissed off that he didn't want to share in seeing our kids enjoy new experiences.

I'd suggest you research a bit more -for an awful lot of people it isn't about the rides as there's lots more to do and see both inside and outside of Disney and show him there are things he could enjoy with you and the kids . The dibb is a great place to research- trip reports will give you insight into stuff you probably didn't even realize you could do.

VeganCow · 20/06/2016 13:10

I agree with him, cant think of anything worse than a Disney holiday.

AppleSetsSail · 20/06/2016 13:14

Disney is not terribly different from many Spanish tourist destinations.

AppleSetsSail · 20/06/2016 13:15

It's not as though their original plan was Florence.

ArcheryAnnie · 20/06/2016 13:19

Why should DH be forced to give up 2 weeks contact with his DC in the summer holiday just because wealthy relatives want a family party?

Why should the OP and her kids be forced to turn down the holiday of a lifetime just because it isn't precisely to DH's taste?

I am not a fan of Disney at all, but for goodness sake, he's not being sent to a gulag, he's being asked to play nicely, at someone else's (vast) expense, at a resort which has decades of experience at mollifying and entertaining reluctant parents while their offspring have a whale of a time.

If he cannot truly find anything to enjoy while he is there, that speaks more about him than about Disney. And, as someone else said, much of being a parent is boring, anyway, and you just have to suck it up. If Disney is the worst on offer in the boredom stakes, you are pretty damn fortunate.

Tattieboggle · 20/06/2016 13:20

Yabu. I've been to Florida lots of times, nobody actually spends a full fortnight going to the parks daily

I do.

ArcheryAnnie · 20/06/2016 13:21

It's not as though their original plan was Florence.

Best comment yet, Apple!

BarbarianMum · 20/06/2016 13:30

He's not asking her to forego anything though, is he? Just not to spend more than half their time doing Disney stuff. Tbh the kids may be desperate for some non-theme park related stuff after a few days too.

peachpudding · 20/06/2016 13:30

ArcheryAnnie: Why should the OP and her kids be forced to turn down the holiday of a lifetime just because it isn't precisely to DH's taste?

The OP is only half responsible for the DC, why is it assumed she gets to make the decision?

I would disagree it is the holiday of a lifetime.

In this case the DC are getting the holiday and the DH is sucking it up, doesn't mean he has to be forced to smile all the time.

Millymollymanatee · 20/06/2016 13:34

FFS it's only two weeks out of his entire life. IMHO he should accept the kindness and grin and bear it with grace. We've been twice and my kids absolutely loved it. He's being very selfish.

ArcheryAnnie · 20/06/2016 13:36

It doesn't matter if you or I agree it's not the holiday of a lifetime that we'd choose. If the OP wants to take her kids on a holiday because they will think it's the bees' knees, then that's what matters.

The DH is essentially asking Rich Relative to pay for a different holiday, because he doesn't like the holiday which Rich Relative has offered. I don't think this is on.

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/06/2016 13:40

Really Tattie? But there's so much else to see?

BarbarianMum · 20/06/2016 13:47

I don't agree. He's not selling his soul, an element of negotiation is allowed. Just because someone invites you out for a meal doesn't mean you're not allowed to choose from the menu.

DragonRojo · 20/06/2016 13:49

I would be very unhappy if half my annual leave was taken by a holiday to Disney with the whole extended family. It would be my idea if hell, free or not. Was he consulted at all before booking it or was his opinion so unimportant that nobody asked him?

sleeponeday · 20/06/2016 13:52

Dragon, from the OP's previous post: Everyone was asked before the trip was booked. He said he wanted to come because he didn't want to be away from the kids for 2 weeks but is now showing absolutely zero interest in it other than to occasionally roll his eyes when we discuss the theme park plans. I find this rude as his place has cost family member over £1000.

He could have objected: he didn't. Now he just appears to want a free sunshine holiday with his wife providing the free kid's club facility, too.

sleeponeday · 20/06/2016 13:54

He's not selling his soul, an element of negotiation is allowed. Just because someone invites you out for a meal doesn't mean you're not allowed to choose from the menu.

Sure. But he appears to have accepted an invitation to a slap-up family meal eating from a set menu, only to indicate that he wants to be allowed to sit at a separate table to the rest of them, eating from the a la carte, all still at the relative's expense.

LordoftheTits · 20/06/2016 13:56

Was he consulted at all before booking it or was his opinion so unimportant that nobody asked him?

This has been answered more than once.

He was consulted and appeared positive beforehand. Now that it is booked, he is being huffy about it.

NicknameUsed · 20/06/2016 13:59

"I can manage the kids by myself but it will stressful as I have one child that tries to sprint ahead and other that is constantly lagging behind. "

But there will be other adults in the party to help?

GnomeDePlume · 20/06/2016 13:59

I'm wondering what your husband thinks he can do in Spain that he can't do in Orlando

Besalu

Empuries

Salvador Dali museum

And that is just the briefest of selection of what is available on the Costa Brava.

ArcheryAnnie · 20/06/2016 14:03

Barbarian he's not asking to choose from the menu - he's asking to go to a different restaurant (one he likes better), alone, and still expecting that Rich Relative will foot the bill.

Oliversmumsarmy · 20/06/2016 14:09

From what the op has said, her and dc are looking forward to Florida but dh wants a week in Spain. So should the dc and the op not go because 1 out of the 4 of them doesn't want to go or should the majority rule.

can I recommend reins and extendable dog leads for children who have a habit of bolting.

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