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AIBU?

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Original poster

Missing £50 candle- is it my cleaner?

234 replies

MotherHen3 · 19/06/2016 09:36

So had a really rotten few weeks at work and as a treat my husband bought me a really extravagant scented candle ...brought home and opened--wonderful smell filled whole house- 2 days later - it was gone.....This was on a day I had builders downstairs and an electrician in the house and 2 delivery men and my ( female ) cleaner who has worked for me for about 3 years....

I have turned the house upside down looking for this in the hope that someone had broken it- rather than being stolenbut it was big- and not easily mislaid my husband says I am overreacting but it has totally freaked me out to think someone in my house has stolen from me---he also says there is no way a man would steal a candle.....

I have asked everyone about it and all know nothing I have told the cleaner that I spend all weekend looking for the candle ( true ) and that I am really upset as it was a present from my husband-I hoped this might make it re-appear!

I have had previous issues with cleaner asking to borrow money from me which I did on one occasion as she said she was desperate ( and a good cleaner in an area where hard to get a cleaner )but she then started asking to borrow more money and then asking me to pay her 2 weeks in advance etc etc as she was desperate.....

I have also recently reduced halved her hours as we had ongoing building work and dust which has now finished- so gone back to usual hours---which she was not happy about.....

I have no evidence at all re the candle so don't see how I can accuse her of anything-but builders have been on site for 6 months with no problems
and as my husband says- surely they would nick something better than a candle ( even though it was especially lovely!)

...it is literally driving me nuts trying to work out where it has gone ( have turned house upside down ) and who would have taken it

...I am starting to think it can only be a woman and that maybe it wasn't just about nicking something- but a bit of a revenge thing for me halving my cleaners hours....but I have no evidence so don't see how I can sack her....thoughts gratefully received--I value trustworthiness above all else as I am a really private person and actually find it difficult having someone in my house to clean but have got used to her over 3 years ( I work full time and have 4 children so need a cleaner)

OP posts:
Notbigandnotclever · 20/06/2016 20:03

Nope I still can't get past £50 for a candle...

CatsGoPurrrr · 20/06/2016 20:17

Notbig but the scent fills the whole house. Even when it's unlit!

poocatcherchampion · 20/06/2016 20:33

Have we considered the possibility that the husband actually stole i t himself in the first place and is trying to throw OP off the scent ( Wink ) by saying a man would never steal a candle??

Ettedo1 · 20/06/2016 20:59

Someone's broken it! No-ones admitting to it. It too big an object to steal without the owners noticing. It's broken. Move on.

Mrs9C · 20/06/2016 21:10

How old are the children? Mine were all terrible when they were young for throwing all sorts of valuable items into the bin Sad. Very difficult when so many people in and out of the house too, especially if it is a well known brand of expensive candle. I hope the situation resolves itself soon.

Lweji · 20/06/2016 21:43

SpaceUnicorn
For what it's worth, she could have three gifted children and one that isn't (or is still a baby).
But one does have to admire how the OP can with all certainty diagnose a gifted child online from scant information. It's puzzling how she can't be as sure of the cleaner.

Zarah123 · 20/06/2016 23:15

venusinscorpio you're getting unnecessarily irate. Calm down. No one is suggesting OP accuse her cleaner.

And no she isn't right to be suspicious that her cleaner has taken it just because she is a woman and her twat of a husband thinks only a woman would steal a scented candle and she can't think for herself

Who are you addressing?

ConcreteUnderpants · 20/06/2016 23:33

Whoever stole the candle has replaced it with an extra child!!!!! lol!
but one does have to admire how the OP can with all certainty diagnose a gifted child online from scant information. It's puzzling how she can't be as sure of the cleaner.

Perhaps she should ask the gifted ones?

venusinscorpio · 20/06/2016 23:34

People that have said she is right to be suspicious of the cleaner. Just because the cleaner clearly is a bit hard up. That's not a reason to assume she stole it.

But thanks for your advice and all, but I'll post as I see fit. Like everyone else.

ConcreteUnderpants · 20/06/2016 23:40

Zarah, it was the OP who was accusing the cleaner, and actually contemplating sacking her (but didn't through lack of evidence)

glueandstick · 20/06/2016 23:43

Jeez leave the woman alone! What she spends her money on is her issue. If she wants candles, so be it. The candle is not the issue. The issue is something has gone missing.

Zarah123 · 20/06/2016 23:48

Concrete She hasn't actually the cleaner though, has she?

People don't seem to understand the difference between 'suspect' and 'accuse' here.

Zarah123 · 20/06/2016 23:49

This reply has been deleted

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TheNaze73 · 20/06/2016 23:51

Does your cleaner have previous??

venusinscorpio · 21/06/2016 00:00

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Unicorntrainer · 21/06/2016 00:00

Hi spaceunicorn. I have my flameproof suit on. I have been that hideously embarrassed person who had to ask for a sub/loan because xh wouldn't work. I know lots of men who love scented candles, the trust has gone between you and your cleaner. If her life is so shit maybe she just wanted something nice for herself, and no I have never stolen but I remember those dark days and still empathise with people in that position. Or maybe one of the builders took it for his oh? Did you tell everyone how much it cost? And you can pay a lot more than that for a candle!

MrsRyanGosling15 · 21/06/2016 00:11

Can someone please confirm that that Jo Malone candle, the 250g is £280? DH bought me that candle a few weeks ago. He said it was £80 at the airport (bag, box and receipt but didn't look) but I though he was lying about the price. FYI £80 on a candle, I think is a bit ridiculous but £280!! I'm going to kill him. runs to blow out candle now I know the price

SilverBirchWithout · 21/06/2016 00:59

Goodness I didn't realise these type of candles were so very expensive. I've had a few for presents over the past couple of years and thought they were just a bit of last minute present buying from friends and family. There's a limit to how many incense sticks, reed diffusers and posh flowery-scented candles I can use in a year.

SilverBirchWithout · 21/06/2016 01:01

Why are they so expensive, are they made from fairy wings or unicorn rainbows?

SpaceUnicorn · 21/06/2016 01:08

Hi spaceunicorn. I have my flameproof suit on ... Did you tell everyone how much it cost?

I'm not the OP Confused

I have no expensive candles, no cleaner, no building work happening, and fewer than 3 (or 4, depending on the thread) children.

PrettyDumb · 21/06/2016 01:52

Have you looked through the bins yet, op?

Cordeliana · 21/06/2016 02:09

I will never understand why people think that asking a load of strangers on MN will give them the answer to their problems...

...which is why I think that MN makes them up.

Either that or the DH gave it to the cleaner

Joke, OP, please don't lose any sleep over it

Spermysextowel · 21/06/2016 02:34

I heard on R4 that things like candles are indoor pollution (maybe an idiot's interpretation).
You could sack your cleaner, not replace her for a week & buy another candle. Would that work?

SomeDaysIDontGiveAMonkeys · 21/06/2016 03:04

Gosh. What s dreadful post.

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