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Original poster

Missing £50 candle- is it my cleaner?

234 replies

MotherHen3 · 19/06/2016 09:36

So had a really rotten few weeks at work and as a treat my husband bought me a really extravagant scented candle ...brought home and opened--wonderful smell filled whole house- 2 days later - it was gone.....This was on a day I had builders downstairs and an electrician in the house and 2 delivery men and my ( female ) cleaner who has worked for me for about 3 years....

I have turned the house upside down looking for this in the hope that someone had broken it- rather than being stolenbut it was big- and not easily mislaid my husband says I am overreacting but it has totally freaked me out to think someone in my house has stolen from me---he also says there is no way a man would steal a candle.....

I have asked everyone about it and all know nothing I have told the cleaner that I spend all weekend looking for the candle ( true ) and that I am really upset as it was a present from my husband-I hoped this might make it re-appear!

I have had previous issues with cleaner asking to borrow money from me which I did on one occasion as she said she was desperate ( and a good cleaner in an area where hard to get a cleaner )but she then started asking to borrow more money and then asking me to pay her 2 weeks in advance etc etc as she was desperate.....

I have also recently reduced halved her hours as we had ongoing building work and dust which has now finished- so gone back to usual hours---which she was not happy about.....

I have no evidence at all re the candle so don't see how I can accuse her of anything-but builders have been on site for 6 months with no problems
and as my husband says- surely they would nick something better than a candle ( even though it was especially lovely!)

...it is literally driving me nuts trying to work out where it has gone ( have turned house upside down ) and who would have taken it

...I am starting to think it can only be a woman and that maybe it wasn't just about nicking something- but a bit of a revenge thing for me halving my cleaners hours....but I have no evidence so don't see how I can sack her....thoughts gratefully received--I value trustworthiness above all else as I am a really private person and actually find it difficult having someone in my house to clean but have got used to her over 3 years ( I work full time and have 4 children so need a cleaner)

OP posts:
SpaceUnicorn · 19/06/2016 21:07

Stealth boasting, much?

You want stealth-boasting, try an advanced search! Wink

Lweji · 19/06/2016 21:24

Unicorn,
Not sure about stealth.

Yup, in all likelihood the children wanted to perform advanced research with the candle and destroyed it.

TheoriginalLEM · 19/06/2016 21:26

I just wanted to know where to buy the candles - i love candles but worry that some of the cheaper ones are carcinogenic so would hope the dearer ones eould be all natural.

Sad
laidbackneko · 19/06/2016 21:49

Maybe husband took it back for a refund Grin

laidbackneko · 19/06/2016 21:50

Sorry, bad joke Blush

glueandstick · 19/06/2016 21:58

I highly doubt that all candles are carcinogenic. Even high end brands such as diptyque use artificial scents now.

EveOnline2016 · 19/06/2016 22:16

I'm a cleaner thank god it's not in people's homes.

I may be on a low wage, but I would never steal from anybody. My husband is on a very good money for a start.

Why suspect the cleaner when your house have been full of strangers.

loobieloo32 · 19/06/2016 22:25

Ffs this thread is like cluedo on steroids

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/06/2016 22:40

It prob got broken by kids / possibly cleaner and put in bin

I would mention to the cleaner that you can't find if and has she moved it somewhere

Her reply should help you reliese if she stole it or not

P's I love smelly candles

Mimicat44 · 20/06/2016 17:53

It is NOT 'literally driving you nuts' if is figuratively driving you nuts and absolutely no one on here is able to tell you who stole your candle as it could have been any of the several people who were in your house that day. Their gender has nothing to do with it, an expensive candle us an expensive candle and not only women will be aware of that. I feel sorry for your cleaner, I think you're being awful.

whois · 20/06/2016 17:56

If you think cleaner has stolen from you, the relationship has broken down.

A £150 candel tho? Why would anyone steel that?

impossible · 20/06/2016 17:57

You are being very unfair on your cleaner and seem to treat her with little respect. Don't accuse her - just because someone is hard up doesn't make them a thief. Check with your dcs and if the candle doesnt appear put it down to the numerous people coming in and out of your house or your own absent mindedness. I'm sure most people have had occasions when they have lost something only for it to turn up a lot later.

KittensandKnitting · 20/06/2016 18:06

Is it such a big leap to think the cleaner might have taken it considering, she is pissed of about having extra cash and now not (hours increased then decrease) and has been asking for extra money for quite a while?

Some people are just spiteful and she might have just taken it to be a bit of an arse.

Of course it could have been the builder in the dinning room with the candle :)

In any case the OP is obviously upset because she had a bit of a tough time recently and her husband brought a gift she would love and did love and it's gone.

Not sure why people are being so horrible, I feel sorry for the OP

swelchphr · 20/06/2016 18:17

I would sack the cleaner. Aside from this candle incident, it sounds like you don't feel comfortable with her and now you don't feel you can trust her. If she's going to be repeatedly alone in your home, you have to find them trustworthy and at some point that got lost and it's not an easy thing to regain. Just give her the proper notice, thank her, and let her know you will no longer be needing her services after X date.

NewLife4Me · 20/06/2016 18:21

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venusinscorpio · 20/06/2016 18:24

Impossible has it right.

MsHoolie · 20/06/2016 18:40

Everyone is having a bit of a go at OP, but I have had necklaces stolen once in a shared house and it makes you feel bloody awful.
Drive yourself nuts with suspicion and scenarios.

The sad truth is you will never know for sure, so don't sack your poor cleaner over a suspicion whenthere are clearly other potential culprits (kids broke it/used it.. dodgy lad from builders/sparks may have taken a shine to it for his lady love.

You will never know.

If you have general trust issues with your cleaner then sack her (sounds like she won't have an issue filling the slot in your area)

shillwheeler · 20/06/2016 18:46

If it was accidentally knocked over and broken, most likely you'd have found it in the bin.

I can understand why you are upset OP. However, there is no evidence it is your cleaner, though her past actions have made you suspicious and I can understand why you might think it is her. It is always difficult when you have building work going on. We had some unhappy coincidences with things going missing too, although we were 100% sure about our builders and most of the trades, it can be very hard to tell with subbies coming and going and just word getting around.

I actually don't agree a man wouldn't take it - it is surprising what some people will take if they can resell it or as an impulse gift.

Hard to know where to go with this. If you ask your cleaner, my guess is she will walk. But maybe that is what you want at some level.

Don't think you're being unreasoable to be upset, but do be careful not to jump to conclusions.

venusinscorpio · 20/06/2016 18:54

FFS if you want to get rid of your cleaner, do it without unfairly accusing her of a theft you have absolutely no evidence of.

Chillipowderpuff · 20/06/2016 19:04

I'm sure it was one of your DC's, but if they have broken it and put it in the bin you will never know.

A few months ago some of my DS's spare sheets went missing. I hunted around the whole house for them, and when I asked my DS's about it they said that they had no idea where the sheets were. The only other option I could think of was that my cleaner helps with the laundry, and I thought she must have taken them, although I couldn't imagine her doing it. I asked her if she had any idea where the sheets were, obviously without accusing her, and she said that she had no idea.

It was such a mystery. So my next day off I spent ages hunting around my DS's room. I eventually found the sheets (dirty) hidden in a Lego box inside a rucksack under my DS's bed. He had obviously dirtied the sheet, changed his sheets and hidden the evidence!

I told my cleaner that I found the sheets and I was so embarrassed that I could have even suspected her of taking them.

Confusednotcom · 20/06/2016 19:20

Best thing to do is move on, keep the cleaner, forget about the candle. Bet you it turns up in the least likely place. I've done this with a few things over the years and always regretted jumping to conclusions - I found pretty much everything a few months or even years later.

HarryMonty · 20/06/2016 19:21

Someone in the house has broken it by accident and now you have made such a fuss they are too scared to own up!

Surely you have more valuable and less obvious things to steal in the house than a candle!!!

Hannahcolobus · 20/06/2016 19:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

RequestInUse · 20/06/2016 19:53

*HighwayDragon1

Unless the candle is solely operated by a vagina then I'm fairly sure anyone could have stolen it.*

That made me lol.

SpaceUnicorn · 20/06/2016 20:02

Actually, I think this is a lot more serious than people seem to think,

Whoever stole the candle has replaced it with an extra child!!!!! At least I think that's what must have happened, because on another thread yesterday she has three (gifted) children, yet on this thread she has four.