Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Missing £50 candle- is it my cleaner?

234 replies

MotherHen3 · 19/06/2016 09:36

So had a really rotten few weeks at work and as a treat my husband bought me a really extravagant scented candle ...brought home and opened--wonderful smell filled whole house- 2 days later - it was gone.....This was on a day I had builders downstairs and an electrician in the house and 2 delivery men and my ( female ) cleaner who has worked for me for about 3 years....

I have turned the house upside down looking for this in the hope that someone had broken it- rather than being stolenbut it was big- and not easily mislaid my husband says I am overreacting but it has totally freaked me out to think someone in my house has stolen from me---he also says there is no way a man would steal a candle.....

I have asked everyone about it and all know nothing I have told the cleaner that I spend all weekend looking for the candle ( true ) and that I am really upset as it was a present from my husband-I hoped this might make it re-appear!

I have had previous issues with cleaner asking to borrow money from me which I did on one occasion as she said she was desperate ( and a good cleaner in an area where hard to get a cleaner )but she then started asking to borrow more money and then asking me to pay her 2 weeks in advance etc etc as she was desperate.....

I have also recently reduced halved her hours as we had ongoing building work and dust which has now finished- so gone back to usual hours---which she was not happy about.....

I have no evidence at all re the candle so don't see how I can accuse her of anything-but builders have been on site for 6 months with no problems
and as my husband says- surely they would nick something better than a candle ( even though it was especially lovely!)

...it is literally driving me nuts trying to work out where it has gone ( have turned house upside down ) and who would have taken it

...I am starting to think it can only be a woman and that maybe it wasn't just about nicking something- but a bit of a revenge thing for me halving my cleaners hours....but I have no evidence so don't see how I can sack her....thoughts gratefully received--I value trustworthiness above all else as I am a really private person and actually find it difficult having someone in my house to clean but have got used to her over 3 years ( I work full time and have 4 children so need a cleaner)

OP posts:
SoThatHappened · 19/06/2016 12:33

I have had an abusive block capital shouting at me Private message from the OP about my post on this.

I suggest we all back away.

The OP is clearly too emotional and distressed over a candle.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 19/06/2016 12:35

It's shit like this that puts me off the idea of taking on a cleaning job.

It may be a "small, pointless, insignificant worry" but to be accused of stealing with no evidence other than the thing going missing is anything but and really insulting.

I along with another student intern got accused of stealing every time my boss lost/misplaced something, my boss's way of thinking was because our pay was so shit it must be us Angry

ghostyslovesheep · 19/06/2016 12:35

well if my ex husband had wasted £50 on a candle to 'cheer me up' I can give you one guess as to where it would be hiding

what's wrong with gin and pringles ffs

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 19/06/2016 12:39

SoThatHappened Confused Report if you need to that's totally uncalled for.

SoThatHappened · 19/06/2016 12:43

I did.

She tried to say she pm'd me by accident..i think we can say an accidental PM is pretty hard to do on here

practy · 19/06/2016 12:43

Yes I had this as a cleaner. I would suspect the children first. Not of stealing, but just of accidentally breaking it and hiding it.

And it is hard as a cleaner if you really need the money, if your hours suddenly go down. She was probably simply upset wondering how on earth she was going to manage.

nuttymango · 19/06/2016 12:50

YABVVVU to not pay her for the hours you cut, it's not her problem that you are having building work and if you can afford to extend/do up your house and can afford a cleaner when you have 4 children then surely you can afford to pay her? She's probably working as a cleaner because she needs the cash and you've probably caused her problems.

Originalfoogirl · 19/06/2016 12:57

How on earth does a candle break??

Anyway, a few thoughts;

always assume it was your children, even if they say it wasn't. A far more likely situation is that they did something to it.

I can't see it being workmen. If they broke something they are likely to say so, and what's the chances they damaged only one item?

If you think so little of your cleaner, she probably shouldn't be working for you.

If you are so bothered about something so apparently valuable to you, probably best put it away next time you have people in the house.

TSSDNCOP · 19/06/2016 12:58

OP hasn't cut the cleaners hours nutty she upped them during the messy building work, and has reverted to the original hours now work is complete.

It was clarified in a post up-thread.

SoThatHappened · 19/06/2016 12:59

A candle breaks when it is in a glass container and dropped.

Also it only wax. You can snap long wax candles that go in candle holders in half with almost no effort.

MegaClutterSlut · 19/06/2016 13:12

Fgs why are people going on about the price of the candle? It was a gift from her husband. Doesn't matter if it was £50 or 50p Hmm some fecker has nicked/broken it. I would want to know who stole it or done whatever to it too because someone who is trusted to be ops house has done something with it....

MrsHathaway · 19/06/2016 13:12

Awful I know but I didn't admit this for thirty five years. Feel terrible because my dad got blamed. [...] My dad got blamed for a lot of what me and my sister got up to.

Maybe I'm extra soppy today but I bet he knew damn well and took the blame on purpose.

LaurieMarlow · 19/06/2016 13:33

I abhor smelly candles, even the expensive ones, so can't understand why any one would bother their arse stealing one.

BUT, shitty attitude OP to be contemplating sacking her with no evidence whatsoever. Not the behaviour of a good employer or indeed a decent human being.

I'd bet you've just mislaid it.

SoThatHappened · 19/06/2016 13:42

If you're gonna risk your job for theft you are probably not going to do it for a candle.

As for it smelling up the whole house even those heavily perfumed yankee candles dont do that

Gabilan · 19/06/2016 14:23

I'm female. I wouldn't steal a smelly candle. A. I'm not a thief. B. They give me migraines.

I think the OP would be having an easier time of it if she hadn't repeated her husband's sexist drivel.

Pendu · 19/06/2016 14:29

You should watch "Delhi in a day" (Netflix)

4 grand goes missing and they blame the cleaners/staff and in the end it was the daughter of the house owner. Watched it last night - but random but apt for the thread Smile

Pendu · 19/06/2016 14:29

You should watch "Delhi in a day" (Netflix)

4 grand goes missing and they blame the cleaners/staff and in the end it was the daughter of the house owner. Watched it last night - but random but apt for the thread Smile

trafalgargal · 19/06/2016 14:34

Of course if she reads MN you'll be looking for a new cleaner anyway ......and she'd be absolutely right.

SistersOfPercy · 19/06/2016 14:35

I very much doubt anyone stole a candle to sell. It would never occur to me that a candle was worth that much

You should see our local FB Selling, it's candle central, mostly unused. As they are all flogging large Yankee jars for £15 a pop I'm assuming they are not exactly legit. Some seemingly have a business in it Hmm

pinkieandperkie · 19/06/2016 14:36

Mrshathaway. No my dad never took the blame or admitted that he broke the candlestick, my mum just assumed it was him not wanting to believe that her daughters would ever lie to her. I am suitable ashamed

Lweji · 19/06/2016 14:57

Sisters,

Not unwanted gifts?
Or reject candles for production cost?
I assume the mark up on those candles must be huge.

SistersOfPercy · 19/06/2016 15:47

Lweji never listed as unwanted gifts, and if they were then they need to tell the giver as they have an endless supply of candles. Always have the very latest fragrances and even comment with 'can get it hun' when asked for a fragrance.
A Yankee store around these parts suffered a robbery a few months back losing £500 of stock. The same sellers are the ones always selling knock off MK bags and adidas floral hideous tracksuits. I'm dubious personally.

KatieKaboom · 19/06/2016 15:53

Yeah. She's going to jeopardise get income and reputation and probably a spotless criminal record for an overpriced, used smelly candle Confused.

Orda1 · 19/06/2016 15:59

Not really on topic Jo Malone have candles for £280.

coco1810 · 19/06/2016 15:59

Stealth boasting, much? My £50 candle...... Renovations...... My (female) cleaner..... Wow, rich people problems. lights £2:50 candle from Tesco while hoovering my own home

Swipe left for the next trending thread