Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to buy alcohol for a 15 year old?

72 replies

endlesslynamechanging · 18/06/2016 23:57

Not me, but someone I know.

She buys it for her DC when they go to a party, and justifies it by saying that as alcohol is very much a feature of parties for that age group, she prefers DC to drink safely rather than drink any old thing they're offered. The DC has been told they can only drink what their mum has given them to take along.

I have not spoken to the mother in question myself, and don't know exactly what she buys for the child, but I have to say I was rather taken aback. It was brought up as part of a discussion with a third party on our own DCs reaching a similar age and how to handle the question of under-age drinking.

Buying if for them would never cross my mind, however maybe I just live a sheltered life.

Is she BU, or does she have a point in doing this?

OP posts:
BeachysSandyFlipFlops · 19/06/2016 00:00

It's quite common and should avoid them drinking random stuff from friends or nicking old bottles of Christmas sherry from their parents drinks cupboards..... Presumably it's a few beers or ciders, rather than Tequila.

SaveSomeSpendSome · 19/06/2016 00:01

My mum used to buy me alcohol at this age. In fact she bought me 4 bacardi breezers for me to drink on my 13th birthday!

Its done me no harm. I ve very rarely drank alcohol as it was never forbidden so i never saw it as appealing.

Im 28 now and have been teetotal for around 8-10 years

Wolfiefan · 19/06/2016 00:01

It is very common (though my kids are younger). Stops them binging on vodka someone else has brought.

Abinob · 19/06/2016 00:02

When I was 15 we used to ask random men outside shops (women always said no) to buy us vodka so I guess her parents buying it is better than that.
A 15 year old that wants to drink is going to drink regardless tbh

Grilledaubergines · 19/06/2016 00:02

I think she's being very sensible actually.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 19/06/2016 00:03

Yes I've bought my 15 year olds alcohol to take to parties. IMO it is better they take a couple of cans of weak alcohol than knock back vodka etc which is often available.

I find that's what the majority of people we know do.

Pinkheart5915 · 19/06/2016 00:04

It's up to her what she gives her DC.

Even when I was a teen (14+) my parents use to buy me a little alcohol for parties and I think even more parents do it these days.

They know and respect not to drink anything other than what she has given, we only drunk what parents brought us.

Nothing wrong with it IMO

Original poster
endlesslynamechanging · 19/06/2016 00:07

Well, colour me speechless at these first few replies! None of us in the discussion had heard of this before.

So it is a genuine thing?

May I ask where you are all based geographically? I'm now wondering if we live in Brigadoon and the wonders of the modern age are passing us by...

OP posts:
kipperydippery · 19/06/2016 00:07

A work colleague does this. Her teenage DD is going to drink at parties. She would prefer it was a couple of bottles of weak lager instead of vodka. She buys the lager. Her DD doesn't touch any alcohol apart from the lager her mum has bought.

I was also taken aback when I found out. However the more I learn about parenting teenagers the more I understand why my colleague does it.

I think I may take the same approach when my DC are older

SaveSomeSpendSome · 19/06/2016 00:09

I live in Lancashire

kipperydippery · 19/06/2016 00:11

I am based at the arse end of a small rock in the Irish Sea. Hardly London or Manchester

borntohula · 19/06/2016 00:13

i think if 15 year olds want to drink, they'll find a way so, the safer the better... i must say though that i'd be willing to bet if this had been about you and your DC, you would have had a few 'yabu's...

DramaAlpaca · 19/06/2016 00:16

My boys are young adults now, but when they were 15 or 16 I'd send them off to parties with a few cans of lager.

It was a common approach with their friends' parents as well. It's a fact that teenagers drink, and this way parents have some control over what and how much they drink.

It seems to have worked with my three - they were sensible about drinking as teenagers and they still are now.

Pinkheart5915 · 19/06/2016 00:17

Hertfordshire, my ds is only a baby but I see no problem buying it when his a teen safer than him drinking anything

My brother also buys a little for my nephew as well they live in west London.

Out2pasture · 19/06/2016 00:18

I did it as well. same reasoning as other's have said; I would rather them drink one type of alcohol rather than a mix. I didn't want my daughter indebted to any older fellows who offered to buy for her.

illegal to do so but I felt it was a safer option.

calamityjam · 19/06/2016 00:19

My teens seem so young compared to these kids! The most we have ever done is give dsd a couple of drinks with us on holiday a couple of years ago when she was nearly 17, and we asked her. Ds2 is far too into his xbox and gym to go to parties he is 15 and dd is still into kittens and ponies at 13. Ds1 is 20 and has moved out, but he never asked us for alcohol and never came in drunk.

beetroot2 · 19/06/2016 00:19

Ive bought it for my son to take to a party not at 15 though, 16.

OddSocksHighHeels · 19/06/2016 00:22

I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be buying alcohol for a teen to take to a party but DD is 4 so that might be colouring my view!

My mum used to do it and plenty of friends parents did too - I can't say it necessarily made us all more sensible with booze but it probably was better than the alternative (which we did on occasion) of handing cash to strangers outside shops.

Realistically, not many people will wait until 18 to try alcohol. Teens are influenced by peer pressure and their friends drinking. I would imagine buying small amounts of alcohol probably is better overall.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 19/06/2016 00:23

We had bottles of cider at parties when we were 14. I must have gone with a bottle, we all did. We had a bit of booze, danced our socks off and sweated it out. We weren't drunk. We were with good friends, at somebody's house and nothing bad happened.
It was all very sensible!

Original poster
endlesslynamechanging · 19/06/2016 00:23

My own approach, off my own back I hasten to mention, was to allow the children something "alcoholic" at New Year from about the age of 10, usually massively diluted with lemonade, but despite loving lemonade they've hated everything they've tried.

Now that they're older, my advice has just been to not be pressured into anything, try to pace yourself, make sure you know what you're drinking, and don't get arrested. Never once occurred to me to buy it myself!

Does nobody bother abut the issues of buying alcohol for under 18s then? I'm just thinking of a scenario where the police are involved and the child has to end up admitting that their mum bought it for them.

OP posts:
beetroot2 · 19/06/2016 00:26

Recently a friend of mine's son was cautioned for smoking weed on the stairs of a block of flats. She was mortified but knew he wouldn't stop so she told him he could smoke it out in the garden at home but no where else. What can you do! She decided this was safer.

LifeInJeneral · 19/06/2016 00:27

Being horribly honest about myself...my parents were very strict on alcohol and o never even tasted it until I was 16. As a result I saw it as a small act of rebellion to go to my friends house and get drunk (bonus points If we got served vodka at the local shop ) . I was a very well behaved, straight A student in every other respect (I was a school librarian for gods sake) so I had never rebelled in any other way. At 17 I ended up in hospital after too much booze and honestly I've never been very good at moderating my drinking. I'm 29 now and a part of me still gets a rush from the rebellious feeling of getting drunk so I totally think she is doing the right thing by allowing her teenager to drink sensibly. She is doing it by her rules and her daughter doesn't associate it with rebelling in the way that I did. I will definitely do something along these lines with my DC

notagiraffe · 19/06/2016 00:27

Am I the only one who thinks it's incredibly naive to buy your teenagers 'a couple of weak drinks' in the belief it will stop them knocking back the vodka someone else bought? It won't. They'll just have that too.
I'm not buying alcohol for DC until they are old enough to buy it themselves. They have a small glass of champagne on special occasions at home - once or twice a year, and that's it. They are mid teens.

OddSocksHighHeels · 19/06/2016 00:31

There's no real issue with the police I don't think - my sister was brought home by them once at 13/14 because she had snuck out and got hideously drunk. They weren't interested in asking my mum questions at all, just wanted her safe. I'm pretty sure our mum was far scarier than the police too Grin

beetroot2 · 19/06/2016 00:33

I think the people who are saying they won't haven't got to that point yet and the ones with mid teens are kidding themselves a bit to be totally honest.

Swipe left for the next trending thread