To sometimes wonder how people afford their lifestyles?

[Babysafari]

Most people that I know appear to have really nice lifestyles. New cars, really nice houses all done out immaculate and on nice roads. Holidays abroad several times a year to nice places too. I've also noticed that most of the parents at school pick their dc up themselves (I'm on maternity leave). There are loads of dads at the school gates too and a lot of mums and dads do the school runs together. A lot of these people are really young too.

One of the dads is a road sweeper so won't be being paid loads and his wife doesn't work, yet they are always doing the school run together but they seem to have the above lifestyle.

Me and dh have a decent household income, hardly rich but 50k, we're not struggling at all but our cars are old, we can only afford cheap holidays, dh works really long hours and is never there for school runs.

I'm not being deliberately envious, logically I know they could have family help or anything I guess people just make it look so easy, I wonder how they do it.

My DH is quite clever and has a niche sort of job. Meanwhile I/We've done quite a lot with property. I have an "eye" who knows why - and had made £200k by 1990 and with the odd risk have turned my hand to another £1.5m in the last four years above and beyond capital appreciation.

Our present house needs work but effectively is a potential development site nd there is no point renovating to top end because in 20 years it will be bulldozed.

DH in the early 90s was taking credit cards with free credit and using the money to invest in the stock market. He keeps all sorts of little notebooks and tracks performance. It could have gone tits up but it didn't. He earns a reasonable amount anyway.

Sorry x. --I do work full time as well because I like the normality it gives- But I will stop soon I think because I'm knackered and want to enjoy it a bit.

I suppose we made a good call when we bought the plot our house is on - at the time we were almost the first in the area. Now that people can see the area will be built prices have tripled. However, that's not a gain we can realise unless we sell, which I have no intention of doing as housing here is scarce and expensive.
In a few years once I'm done having kids and back at work full time it's possible I'll have a bit of spare cash. We are investing in pensions and savings ofc but I'd quite like to take a small proportion of my spare and invest in something with potentially higher returns...

'How rude is that? Excuse me, but just how does someone like you afford something like that? Are you for real?'

Yes, I am, because I'm not one to wonder. I couldn't care less. It's none of my business how people afford the lifestyles they do, but it seems to be an endless source of speculation on MN, with lots of 'hard work' bandied about and the whole thing goes round in circles. So why not just ask rather than wonder? Or better yet, stop wasting time speculating on something that's no one's business except the person in question.

Most of the people who I know who have more money than you would think usually have grows on. Or sell drugs. I don't know one person who has had an inheritance given to them.

Whitecovers, is "grows on" street talk or a typo?

A few years ago my husband worked from home, although worked long hours. I worked night shifts. It would have appeared to the rest of the village that we were a pair of lazy layabouts, which couldn't have been further from reality

TooMuch - I meant a cannabis grow Everyone and their grandma seems to have one round here.
Infact I wish I had got into setting up a hydroponics shop a few years ago, there's a huge demand for the equipment.

Because use they bought property years and years ago

I think a surprising amount of people have 'family money' that subsidises them.

I know a couple who seem very well off although they have seemingly average paying jobs; she works very part time as a hotel receptionist and he works in construction but for a company, not self employed. They have one daughter who is two.

Turns out their huge house was bought for them by the husband's mum, who is well off. The wife's dad is also very well off and pays for a lot of their holidays and gives his daughter money each month to buy clothes for her and the DD, and for her to have her hair, nails etc done.

Personally, simply because we have a high household income. No inheritances or lottery wins or even buying property particularly early.

Mid/late 40's professional couple who met at uni and were DINKYS until our early/mid 30's so we were already well on our respective career paths with high incomes before starting our family. 20 yrs later, financial ups and downs have included redundancies, half a dozen relocations and selling a company which allowed us to technically pay off our mortgage recently and have a comfortable financial cushion.

An acquaintance asked a mutual friend how we could afford our house - I expect a huge number of people would be surprised to find out that DH is actually the MD of a small tech company with 30+ employees and whilst I may look like a SAHM, I actually WFH for a global IT company PT.

We also live modestly relative to our income - I am more of a saver than a spender although I do prioritise our holidays (I still research for the best prices for what we want though and attempt to haggle!) It's only since we've "paid off" our mortgage that I've felt that we could indulge ourselves more - we went skiing for the first time as a family this year for instance although I still couldn't bring myself to pay the half term premium and went for the slightly cheaper Easter week!

Interestingly, I compared weekly grocery shopping costs with a friend and she was shocked that I spent £100 pw less than her. It wasn't terribly hard when she spent £220+ so that's a cool £5.2K just there. I jog so I save on her gym membership of £50 pcm - another £600 pa. Children's activities cost me £120 pcm, hers cost twice that. She did coffee & cake twice a week... - all the seemingly small things mounted up to about £15K post tax income. That's the same as the school fees for the most selective independent in our area.

God - yes I do wonder this - with both well off and not so well off - in my experience this often comes down to any of the following

1. very generous parents who either subsidies day to day expenses /childcare/holidays - or who have gifted adult children houses therefore meaning any earnt income these families have is directed at leisure type things - find this where I live lots of upper middle class parents 40plus and still clearly living off mummy and daddy - merely jealous😀
2. not everyone has a large mortgage - some earning half decent salaries (even £25-30k each so £60k total) maybe living in £100-£150k houses and very easily be able to cover mortgage costs and have lots left over -
3. debt bothers some people more than others - some may have larger or longer term mortgages because they are perhaps younger parents and feel they have the time to pay off the debt before retiring
4. some people earn more than you think - quite a few can be earning £50k plus and some even £100k plus and it's not always that obvious which professions or business make the big money
5. some manage money well - so do loads as a result of being clever with the money they have
6. anyone lucky enough to have bought in London in last 10 years who has then moved out to a cheaper part of the country
7. inheritance

Funnily enough I see this more in middle class type areas where I often know the salaries they are likely to earn are no way in line with the lifestyle they live - so am not a benefits basher - but yes I have had same thoughts as OP

Does everyone have everything ? - No I do not think so

So the people who have a nice house, nice car, nice clothes, nice holidays
Do you think they are debt free and have pensions and investments as well ?

We all make choices about what we spend our money on

I think very few people "have it all"

Secondly, I think that different people spend their money on different things that they enjoy or prioritise eg
Some people are foodies so spent alot in this area
Some people spend alot on their hobbies
Some people spend alot on holidays
Some people spend alot on their family
Some people spend alot on; fashion, new cars, pets etc
Some people spend their money on stuff !
Some people save alot to pay off their mortgage early
Some people save to invest
Some people save for pension, holiday home, children future etc

I think that you need to decide what works best for yourself
For the present and future
Spend some, save some, invest some
You do not need to have what everyone else has

Some of the best things in life are free; your health, your happiness, your freedom. Be thankful for these things first

A couple of young families I know have parents who either help with houses, rent, cash, paid for various aspects of their grandchildren's lives, have second sources of income, etc.

Others made sacrifices over the years, scrounged and saved :) x

This thread has been very interesting. DH & I now have a combined income of £25k. We both work very hard - pay doesn't always reflect that.

We live in an area of high costs - eg petrol 1.17p/l earlier today. We also have 2 DCs.

Due to recent payrises we feel quite rich! : :) This weekend DCs have chosen new bedding (pink with Butterflies!) etc (from Wilkos) & new toys.

We are all very happy. Reading this thread, it seems that families having 10 x the income that we have are not as happy. Why?!

It seems that the old saying "money can't buy happiness" is true.

We manage by:

A - being frugal about areas where we don't enjoy spending money.

B - both being motivated by money.

C - not having any kids.

I am fairly well off because of a high income. Obviously I am also lucky that I was able to work very hard at school and university and had a family who supported that. What I have now is not because of any financial inheritance or cannabis farm and certainly not from investments (which have tended given my inexpertise to drop not rise in value). It is just year on year and day after day I earn quite a bit and I tend to work on about 7 days a week too and only go away about 2 weeks a year although I work from the house - in fact I think peopel who deliver packages here think I am probably some kind of housewife supported by a rich husband rather than a single full time working mother. It is 7.30am. I just sent the first amended contract to a client. I like my work so it is no hardship. School fees have always been paid out of my income, not savings or inheritance or a spouse's income.

I would say we possibly fit into this category but you just don't know what other people's finances are like.

I can imagine someone saying well "He's just a personal trainer and she's a project manager so...."

I am a project manager but most don't realise that I can (and do) earn £600-700 per day. I work for my own limited company so pay company tax which is less than PAYE.

We have a lot of nice things but I would say 20% of key pieces were expensive and 80% are nice but bought from eBay or upcycled or are from supermarket's home sections which look great but are cheap.

We do our grocery shopping at Lidl. We shop around every year for the best insurance/energy/phone deals.

We don't take holidays more than 4 days as I would lose too much income.

When we have DC my DP who is a personal trainer will do a large part of the childcare.

This means we have enough money for a large house and (soon) a new nice car.

Not everything is what it seems from the outside and not everyone is laden with debt!

Also...I buy all of my clothes and accessories in sale, on eBay or from outlets online.

So for example my brand new Jaeger bag was £39. My Aspinal of London leather purse was £39. Both cost two or three times as much in the shop.

My last two dresses look classy but were from the BHS sale and Dorothy Perkins sale. Accessorised correctly they look fairly expensive but in reality were £20 each.

When we go on our long weekends we stay in some lovely places but I shop around on Expedia and Air BnB and never spend more than I need to. Our stay in Rome was £250 flights and accommodation each but looked much more expensive as the accommodation was great.

I sometimes wonder about both sides to this. I would say I am middle income and dont feel I go without. I dont skimp on shopping, clothes etc and usually have at least one holiday a year, quite comfortably.
Some friends/colleagues on very similar incomes seem to have a lot more, eg newer car, holiday in more expensive places, seem to throw cash around.

On the other hand some seem to not to be able to afford anything, drive an older car, not had holiday for years, etc. I work with a woman who earns the same as me and says she has no debt, modest mortgage, and she seems to really struggle, never has days out let alone a holiday.
I suppose you only know what people choose to tell you.

I've completely changed my spending habits and have been AMAZED at what a difference it makes to lifestyle on the same money.

I used to buy things from shops (normal high street stuff: Monsoon, Coast, etc). I would buy magazines, coffees, lunch at work, etc. Nothing that improved my lifestyle.

Once I changed my spending habits on the small things I saved hundreds of pounds a month which can now be saved, used for luxuries, upgrading the car.

I re-sell everything we no longer need on eBay which means not only is the house clutter free but we raised £2500 from things around the house that were no longer wanted or needed.

I can buy luxury items and brands from outlets and eBay for the same or less than I was buying high street brands.

I know a few older (kids have flown the nest) couples who seemingly have endless holidays in exotic locations. I wondered how they did it on very average salaries until I realised that they had split up when the kids were young and both managed to buy houses ( houses were much cheaper then !). They then got back together about ten years later, live in one houses and rent out the other for a tidy sum each month.

So that's what hydroponics are for! I see signs everywhere that say 'cheap hydroponics' and always think that I must find out what they are but then forget until next time I see the sign.

Makes sense now.

I just don't worry anymore about what other have and how they manage.

I do know someone that earns quite a lot (not all legitimately) and likes new cars, gadgets, bought a flash caravan, tells everyone about how much their multiple holidays per year cost. They are living the high life after a few rough years of having eff all. Good luck to them.

However, they also like to talk about how he will buy a house with 'Their partner's inheritance'. Their FIL is only mid 60's so not only might they have a long while to wait, but I think it's a disgusting way to view your in laws, as a pot of money. And for that I hope he leaves it all to the cats home . I'm kidding but I think it's probably not that sensible to bank on an inheritance if you are going to manage your finances around it so far in advance, so much could chmage and it might not exist. I tell MIL to spend her money every time she tells me 'you will get the house'. We have our own money and whilst we are far from rolling in it, we have a nice life with enough food and the heating on.

I think people just have different priorities. As someone said upthread, squirrelling it all away for an old age you might not live to see is not necessarily the best way to manage your money. But spending it all (and more) as if it's burning a hole in your pocket is probably not the most sensible either. We never know what's around the corner.

I think some people may wonder how we can afford our lifestyle.

DH and I are in our late 20s/ early 30s and live in a nice part of London in a very nice two bed flat, go abroad two or three times a year, eat out quite often and wear nice clothes. On top of that we have a decent amount of savings in the bank. We both work in creative industries that are well known not to pay big money.

The answer in our case is pretty simple: both my family and DH's family are very well off and give us money on a regular basis (we told them there is no need but our families are adamant to "help us out"), we live rent/mortgage free in a flat DH inherited, we travel for work (and often attach a holiday to a business trip) we have jobs that pay more than the market rate for our position so that our household income is surprisingly high and last but not least, we don't have DC yet.

I know quite a lot of people in similar situations. Having financial help from family makes a world of difference.

A lot of parents/ grandparents are gifting money to children to avoid IHT. Many have benefited from the rise in property values, so sell the family home and downsize to release cash and gift it to kids and grandkids. This is increasingly common and many of my friends are mortgage free as a result.

DH gets a brand new car every 3 years from work. Although he pays extra tax on it it's still costs us about the same as taxing/insuring/MOT/tyres etc for his old fiesta did.
We are doing chessington world of adventures and Legoland this year but got free tickets from The Sun
We go to Devon on 'weekend' breaks several times a year but stay with family so doesn't cost us anything
DD goes horse riding but only every other week to lessen the cost.