To sometimes wonder how people afford their lifestyles?

[Babysafari]

Most people that I know appear to have really nice lifestyles. New cars, really nice houses all done out immaculate and on nice roads. Holidays abroad several times a year to nice places too. I've also noticed that most of the parents at school pick their dc up themselves (I'm on maternity leave). There are loads of dads at the school gates too and a lot of mums and dads do the school runs together. A lot of these people are really young too.

One of the dads is a road sweeper so won't be being paid loads and his wife doesn't work, yet they are always doing the school run together but they seem to have the above lifestyle.

Me and dh have a decent household income, hardly rich but 50k, we're not struggling at all but our cars are old, we can only afford cheap holidays, dh works really long hours and is never there for school runs.

I'm not being deliberately envious, logically I know they could have family help or anything I guess people just make it look so easy, I wonder how they do it.

I agree with the luck point. Luck isn't everything but it's about 90% of everything.

I remember reading an interview with Richard Branson's mother about being 'short of money' in the 50s. But she didn't complain or whinge - she just started a crafts business and sold products to Harrods.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's what my 'short of money' GM (mother to 8, farm labourer) should have done in the 1950s - just set up her own high end retail business! It's that simple.

You are right there too ritchy - I have friends who work full time with no childcare costs due to grandparent help. I don't resent that, but again it goes to show that salary is not the key determiner of income for many parents.

I just feel bloody lucky my work let me work flexibly, so that I can fit work in around the kids (even if that is at the expense of my hobbies and my waistline!)

I am also lucky I guess that I can get dirt cheap holidays thanks to a holiday house my grandparents own.

DP is also great at finding vouchers and offers for days out etc which helps

Credit cards!

Yes, I read a profile of someone today who was writing about their "hard times". They came back from abroad and the boy went to boarding school _ think it was that Chinese man who writes in the FT (can't have been that hard a times in that case........boarding school etc costs money).

However for many people earning the same there are definitely very different choices they make which have a huge impact longer term. Some of us on the thread earn the same as others who have a lot less in terms of capital and assets because we dont' go on the holidays or do the daily spending our peers do and we haven't for 20 years so not surprisingly 20 years down the line the interest only mortgage people with the £800 handbags and £200 coats and gold rings have a lot less in terms of capital assets, ability to pay university fees, help with child house deposits than others who have been on the same income as us for decades. It's just a question of prorities for people on the same income. Of course some people choose to have no income and not work when they have children which again is another priority and choice and others can never earn much at all due to bad luck and all kinds of reasons.

I'm not sure I agree with the posters that are implicitly suggesting that frantic saving and frugality is better than enjoying life now. I try and strike a healthy balance between the two. I have lost too many friends young to think that life should all be about squirrelling money away for the long distant future

Sometimes, it's not a case that people "have it all", rather than they prioritise certain areas and scrimp on others.
DP and I live in a small, modest home(but are mortgage free - we don't want to get into more debt for the sake of a larger home) and I drive an old car. We don't go on lavish holidays - but we do a lot of stuff at the weekends with the kids. Our big expenditure would be clothes and gadgets (which we do not buy on credit).

If you looked on my Facebook, you would see a well dressed family with all mod cons, who eat at nice restaurants and go to nice places. The reality is we still live in a first time buyers house, we have a crap car and we never go abroad .

Pebbles, I think it's a personality thing and we all make choices. Benny Hill if anyone remembers him had millions and lived in a tiny flat over a shop and spent nothing which is one extreme. I do have reasonable holidays but do n't do a lot of things other people do like paying to go to a hair dresser (although that's partly because I hate sitting there in the salon). We all just pick what suits us. My spending on school fees is no worse or better than someone spending the same £30k a year on cars, holidays, hand bags, rent of a penthouse, highlights monthly, having their nails done and the like.

I suspect some of it comes down to what you enjoy. I was in the garden earlier looking at bees and then a baby fox (which came up and slept on a sun bed on the patio!); I like walks.Lots of things I adore cost nothing. Reading etc. Other people enjoy life by drinking alcohol (I hate the taste) parties, dresses. We all differ.

Agree with that letty and I value walks on the beach and playing my piano. But I pity people who squirrel everything away instead of enjoying (in a balanced way) all life has to offer. I save a pension etc but also don't believe an old age is guaranteed. And want to enjoy my life now, whether it's travelling to new places, taking the kids on random adventures or going to a theatre show or music concert.

30k is a LOT of money. Much more than most people have to decide to chose what to spend on it.
The money I chose to spend is not to buy sandwiches and coffees for lunch, and instead to do a small weekly savings account that pays for our holiday. My parents don't understand being that frugal day-to-day and would rather buy the coffee and sandwiches and not go on holiday.

And don't most people enjoy walks on the beach or in the countryside, or sitting in the garden or a park? Or maybe I just don't know anyone who spends a lot on going out.

Oh I agree practy I think they do.
But I tire of people who make a virtue of never spending any money on enjoying life.
Life should be about balance.
You can never guarantee that you/your kids/ friends / husband will be around forever.

I guess some of it is hard work and being ambitious so you end up earning well by your 30's/40's. DH and I earn just into 6 figures between us. We live in the south east and only managed to get onto the property ladder in our mid 30's due to bad debts in our 20's (DH ebing crap with money before we got together then a business that went wrong). If it weren't for that we would have bought 10 years earlier and would have made a lot of money on property as houses here went up a huge amount in that time. So we could have ended up with a big house and would have had much more spare income (lots now goes into making our small house bigger and nicer with an extension and refurb). The only friend I know who has a huge amount of money (lots of holidays, new cars, massive house) was just very ambitious, got a big lucky and also married someone who earned a lot. They had kids much later too so had time to work their way up whereas I had kids in mid twenties. Doesn't really bother me as we have a comfortable life but it does get on my nerves that we earn so well but can't really afford new cars or anything extravagant. That's life though!

Oh also we have no debt (excluding mortgage) and our mortgage is low enough that we could cope if interest rates rose quite a lot (we'd stop doing up the house of course). I'm very careful with money whereas a lot of people owe lots on credit cards.

This has turned into an interesting thread. I think it's natural to be curious about others who have nice lifestyle, and only by being open minded and exploring what others have done can you improve your own lot.

I'm grateful to the posters who have been honest about how they have achieved good lifestyles, it gives food for thought...

throwingpebbles I agree.
We are careful with money - certainly not wasteful but we don't deny the small things that make life a little more fun. As with most things in life it's a balance - I have been so skint ice been unable to even find a few quid for the bus or a cuppa out. Now that we aren't struggling, I don't sweat the small stuff. Life can be short.

don't wonder, ASK

How rude is that? Excuse me, but just how does someone like you afford something like that? Are you for real?

I get asked quite regularly how I can afford things....because I'm a single mum, I assume. I always respond 'would you ask me that if I had a ring on my finger?' Surprisingly, many people don't seem to get it

I afford my lifestyle through a combination of my hard work, my parent's support to make me mortgage free and the 'luck' of having divorced. But why should I have to explain that to anyone?

I'm sure lots of people wonder this about us at the moment. Not a case of credit- we pay everything (house renovations, new car, holidays) in cash. Just a few investments from the last 5 years that have come good for us. We just don't talk about them to people in real life, that's all. Nothing divides like money.

I always find it interesting how rarely things are as they appear.

Last year me and DH went on 5 holidays, 1 long haul, 2 short haul and 2 in the UK. I had a lot of comments about being paid too much etc (which is beyond rude imo).
DH has taken a demotion and reduced hours in order to retrain. I earn ok national average wage.
People seem to think we have a secret pot of money from somewhere.
What they don't know if that an investment of mine paid off - which was the long haul holiday.
One short haul was paid by us, one just happened to be somewhere that both me and DH had to go for work 2 weeks apart, so he went for work, I met him there for 10 days, he came home and I then did my work trip for the following week.
One Uk holiday was a present from PIL, the other was a bargain.

We are frugal with things like food shopping / meals out, because we prioritise days out, rugby tickets, holidays. But I refuse to explain to people who comment - although I admit that I am intrigued by other people's lifestyles and financial choices!

Could I be terribly forward and ask those who have had investments come good for some tips? Absolutely understand if no one wants to give too much detail ofc

I know a couple who seem to have a lot more money than they should and it is actually often commented about by people it has nothing to do with. They go on 3 or so holidays a year and such. However I also know that they afford this by being ridiculously frugal the rest of the time..like, they never spend the odd couple of quid on a costa or something, all shopping is budget and only what they need, meals prepared in advance so nothing goes to waste and stuff like that.

if we did that we could probably afford a few holidays too. As it turns out though I don't think I could be watching literally every penny that gets spent. I enjoy going out for meals and days out with the kids that cost money. I am happy to have one holiday a year (or every 2 years) and keep my relatively easy way of life rather than scrimping and saving for an extra holiday or a nice new car.

Obviously this won't be the case with everyone mind. Some will go into debt to have nice things, some may have inheritance or something.

Ah that's interesting! We don't live in the U.K. Though and there's not the btl culture here - property is insanely expensive and renting is highly regulated and generally done by big companies. Plus there's 25% tax to pay on profit from just your first residence!
If I was back in the uk I'd certainly consider it - my sister did up a few houses from utter wrecks into nice homes and made a pretty penny on it!

Yeah... We sold our flat last year and have had a pile of cash sitting there for the taxman ever since...
Hey ho. You get a lot for your tax here (Nordic country) - the infrastructure works, great maternity pay, roads repaired, snow cleared daily etc. Private rooms for birth etc. You can see the benefit of it so it's ok. Better than paying out a ton of council tax then having your bins collected once a geological age

Fomal, other than my education and career all my investments have never paid off. We even sold two buy to lets at a loss and sold our last home at less than we paid for it and my foreign currency mortgage made losses and I sold shares at a loss. in fact the best investment might be doing the opposite of what I do. This weekends financial press showed studies that good cash deposits in the last 10 years have made more than the stock market by the way so don't assume share are a one way bet. Spread risk as that's safest.

Tes, £30k I spend on school fees is a huge sum. I wasn't suggesting it was small and it is a lot to invest in education of children (or to spend on holiday and cars or whatever else people who have £30k over their rent and food might spend it on) I am lucky to make enough to afford that (and of course work full time).