To sometimes wonder how people afford their lifestyles?

[Babysafari]

Most people that I know appear to have really nice lifestyles. New cars, really nice houses all done out immaculate and on nice roads. Holidays abroad several times a year to nice places too. I've also noticed that most of the parents at school pick their dc up themselves (I'm on maternity leave). There are loads of dads at the school gates too and a lot of mums and dads do the school runs together. A lot of these people are really young too.

One of the dads is a road sweeper so won't be being paid loads and his wife doesn't work, yet they are always doing the school run together but they seem to have the above lifestyle.

Me and dh have a decent household income, hardly rich but 50k, we're not struggling at all but our cars are old, we can only afford cheap holidays, dh works really long hours and is never there for school runs.

I'm not being deliberately envious, logically I know they could have family help or anything I guess people just make it look so easy, I wonder how they do it.

But it can be. Not always of course, but it can be.

Also seemingly low paid or unskilled jobs quite often have the option of paid over time which professional jobs quite often don't so if you put the hours in you can end up earning pretty well.

I know two families like this (no obvious large wage coming in but great lifestyle). I suspect one lifestyle is boosted by inheritance and the other seems to be credit card.

YANBU to wonder, as I often do too. I am a SAHM but DH earns a decent salary. We are very lucky in that we have reasonable cars bought for cash (one is old, one is smaller but quite new), we have one foreign holiday most years and we are members of a gym.

But to afford that I shop at Aldi/Lidl, spend very little on clothes/hair/makeup etc. We don't do many paid for activities.

But everyone around here seems to be able to constantly eat out, coffees out every day, a couple of holidays or more a year. If you ask on the local Facebook group for resort recommendations people always seem to suggest holidays that would cost £5k+!

To be fair though, a lot of parents around here both work and have at least some of the childcare provided by grandparents. I guess it makes a big difference, because if dh & I both earned half his current salary we'd be much better off due to tax personal allowances etc.

Am married to a doctor so i guess on paper we have a great wage. But we only manage to go away in the uk on the £39 a night premier inn deals, have 5 year old cars, every 3 years we can go abroad. Tax eats up a lot of his wages

I don't believe most people can afford their lifestyles, but perhaps they don't spend as much money on taxis and hotels as I do. This month I have actually made a loss from going to work...

I think 'appear' is most definitely the key point here.
I have a friend who often comments that my life is 'so blissful and perfect' and that I am 'so organised'. I have 3DC and work full time. She doesn't see us in the mornings when everyone is running late, or what state the bathroom is in by the end of Friday, or the days when I take school uniform out of the laundry basket and make them wear it again, or the time I cobbled together a packed lunch out of cream crackers, a left over sausage, the end bit of a cucumber, two mini rolls and a drink of water because I'd forgotten it was a school trip :o(
Appearances can be deceptive!

Wizzy my BF is married to a doctor and they have very little money for the same reasons.

I work as a ta, hubby is sick, dont claim anything for him, i claim tax credits though, and i manage my money well, i find last minute deals for holidays (uk) for instance pontins £59, i shop ar the cheapest places and look for bargains, i do this for xmas too.

You will find all these people are probably up to theyre eyes in debt. In the long run you will be able to sleep at night, they wont!

I know from friends too that a lot of people have been very lucky in property or very careful with money pre children.

My friend and her husband overpaid their mortgage pre children (and got lucky with price rises of their earlier flats, bought a wreck and did lots of DIY) so they are now nearly mortgage free before they are 40.

At the same time, dh and I were spending lots of money on going out with friends and travelling. We didn't buy until we were 30 and just about to have children. We will pay off our mortgage at about 65 I think!

Higher income,
Bought house around 2000 or before, serious difference in lifestyle.
Inheritance
Parents paid deposit
Credit
Different spending priorities
Holidays/extras etc paid for by grandparents.

A friend of mine mentioned their friend's ( I don't know them) income and the fact she had a big house and brand new Range Rover. I told her not to believe the hype and that their lifestyle is not fuelled by wages .... But debt!

I wonder what my neighbours do, both at home all day & a series of tradesman coming to do work on their lovely house.

On the face of it I bet we look well off. Both have new cars and I work part time but Dh is motor trade so it's reasonably priced to us.

I have friends who are in this situation and I do wonder how they afford their life.

Some have great jobs, very senior in law or HR and earn mega salaries.

A couple are contractors so earn an amazing hourly rate but on the flip side are self employed so have to take into account pension, holiday, sickness etc.

Others have had inheritance or taken VR with life changing sums of money involved (£100k in one example).

Another is very open about how much she owes her mum (I'm talking £30k) and how she's just put this year's summer holiday on the credit card but not even paid off last year's.

I guess it's a mixture of all sorts of reasons.

I'm definitely not being sneery. I don't even necessarily think they're in debt. It probably is just down to priorities and doing the right things being savvy. Totally shift work, my ndn goes to work at 3am and gets back at midday. He's always busying himself for the afternoon gardening or shopping if anyone didn't know his working hours they'd think he had an easy life but I don't know when he sleeps.

It's like those people that have lovely outfits but they only shop in Primark/Asda, I never seem to find anything in there!

Think tax eats up the same proportion (depending on the band) of everyone's salary doesn't it? Doesn't disproportionately impact Drs?!

It's okay to wonder... I do it all the time I wonder how people balance the books, live lavish lifestyles, private schools and amazing holidays. I live in a ver expensive area in a shitty dilapidated house as we moved there to be near inlaws to help with childcare. Our mortgage takes a large chunk of dh salary. I'm a student who will not earn much when I graduate (nhs) but these are all things people want rather than need....warmth, shelter, a roof over their heads we have that and our children are growing up in a lovely part of the country. Who knows how they do it...I expect a lot is inheritance

Me, DH and little baby ds have a nice life. We afford it as DH is a solicitor and I have my own business, I am Also a landlord after being left a few properties. I was also very lucky in that my parents had saved an awful lot to give me when I turned 18.

Yes some of it comes down to hard work but it is also luck of the draw as well.

In this area a fair few of the neighbours only have everything they do because of what family has left them.

My theory is that OP has high fixed outgoings (possibly childcare?) which the others have managed to avoid.
The bin man and his wife, for example, may arrange their shifts to pass the kids between them and avoid paid childcare.
Me and DH did this: He works Mon, Tues, Wed. I work Wed, Thurs, Fri. We bring in 2 part time wages but only pay for 1 days childcare. It makes a massive difference. We probably have more disposable income than some couples working full time

Thing is, if you work for your money, as I suspect the OP does, you simply don't realise that for a lot of people it comes in through the window - family help ie cheques, inheritances, good redundancies, you name it.

The vast majority of the under 40s - I think it's knocking 90 per cent - have inherited something, and over 80 per cent get money given by parents for housing. Most grandparents offer some free childcare. Those sums make a huge lifestyle difference long term.

For those of us who haven't been helped, the sheer sums of money given even in modest families can be a bit of a shocker. But it's the norm.

Debt might have a part to play too - but that part will be a lot smaller than it was ten years ago.

wizzy I'm also marries to a doctor, also have a good income on paper but we're shackled by the outgoings like indemnity and business loan. We haven't been abroad in nearly 6 years, we drive two old (10 years) cars which are very beaten up and shop at Aldi. Rarely even have take away. I do also find it a bit hard not to be a little jealous of foreign holidays to nice places (that's what I miss most!)

Plus we were careful with money pre dc. We had fantastic holidays, but researched them well, and paid into the mortgage big time so we don't gave a huge mortgage now (though we may extend and then there goes that!!)

I think there are lots of reasons why people seem to be doing very well as stated. A lot if people re mortgage and use the equity to fund stuff they want, hols, cars etc.

There also can be very big differences in income. You can't always judge their income from the state of their houses.

(^ my dad also gave us a chunk of money to put into our house))