To think I shouldn't pay for replacement GHD hair straighteners

[LikeDylanInTheMovies]

I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable here.

My wife has a pair of 5 year old God hair straighteners. They have an intermittent wiring fault that means they are very much hit and miss in their operation.

She'd used them last night and left them plugged in and balanced precariously on the mantle piece with the wire dangling down. As I walked into the lounge this morning I got my foot caught around the trailing wire (nearly going flying in the process) and pulled the straighteners off the mantelpiece and onto the stone floor below.

I've had a series of angry texts demanding that I buy her a new pair of ghd straighteners at a cost of £100 plus. (We have separate finances)

I think she's being unreasonable. Because

A) They were a knackered pair of straighteners on their last legs that she would have needed to replace anyway in the next few months.

B) left in such a stupid place they were bound to get damaged and cause an accident in the process.

I've offered £30 towards the cost of a replacement, but she is adamant I should pay the full cost of a new pair.

AIBU?

New GHDs are terrible, buy some Cloud 9s instead. Same price range but much better and keep your hair straighter for longer, even when humid. I bought some a couple of months ago and I'm a total convert.

I don't think you should have to buy new ones though. She left them in a bloody stupid place and brought it upon herself. I wouldn't think to look out for cables stretched across the room either.

I made my DH pay to fix my iPad a few years ago but he had it precariously balanced at the edge of the bed on its side (the case can be used as a stand to watch Netflix on, etc) and I'd asked him twice not to sit it there. Then came the inevitable crash as he knocked it off the bed and the screen cracked had I left it there and he had knocked it over I wouldn't have asked him to pay.

Haha. Tell her no. She's out of line.

She left them in a stupid place, they were old, it was accident, she can get a used pair in good working order on eBay for less than £50 which would still be better than her old pair.

I think going halves on a second Gand pair is appropriate under the circumstances.

Has she insured your life?

No. But she has got a nice black dress that she never gets to wear! Either that or she is testing my reactions like Cato in the pink panther.

Plato, I didn't say OP should go and buy them just that they could. 'They' could mean either one of them. Let the spendthrift go and buy them - or not. Who cares?

Yabu and extremely petty why she should she pay out for something you've broken!

You can have mine for the cost of P&P! Never use them! Though you'd need a new adapter for the socket!

Goes halves

If you're married then doesn't the money just come out of the joint pot?

Aw that's very kind of youangry we'll have a chat when we I get back from work and see where we go from here.

Err no bibbl we split rent, bills and food in half but have separate accounts. I tend to be quite prudent whereas she burns through whatever she has, we feel that one would end up resenting the other for wasting it on frivololities (as I'd see it) or stopping them doing what they wanted (as she'd see it)

It worked fine until last year when our incomes were broadly similar. Then my income dropped (I finished my PhD and had a stipend) and I've been reliant on irregular earnings from a zero hour contract. It has made things hard as doing things as a couple as I can't afford a meal out or a day trip, but in the longer term I think things will work out better once I get over this hump.

Happy wife happy life was obviously sarcasm but wow there's some very strong opinions on the wife that are in my opinion OTT.

LikeDylan... surely though when you go out as a couple, you're not sitting there watching her eat? She would buy a meal for you both - or you would (if you have the money)? Any day trips or meals out would be accounted for both of you, not just single events?

As I said, we have separate finances but we're a family, consider ourselves as such, and use the money in our accounts for all of us.

No. But she has got a nice black dress that she never gets to wear! Either that or she is testing my reactions like Cato in the pink panther.

Your mistake here OP was not doing a reverse.

"My husband has an expensive electric razor that has been faulty for some time. It would have needed to be replaced soon but he/we have been stretching it out as long as possible.

Last night he left it plugged in and this morning I accidentally tripped over the cable, breaking it in the process.

I got a text from him demanding that I replace it out of my own money. He earns more than me but we have separate accounts as he spends more than he earns whereas I am careful with my money.

I've offered him £30 towards a new razor but he thinks I should pay for it all. AIBU?"

Responses:

Who leaves a faulty razor plugged in overnight?! Will nobody think of the (potential) children???????

Buy him a packet of Bic disposables, who needs a razor that costs more than £100 FFS?

He earns more than you, spends it all whereas you manage to save some? That's financial abuse - leave the bastard.

If he can't afford to replace it himself despite earning more than you, have you considered that there may be another woman?

Cut his dick off and post it back to him.

DISCLAIMER My previous post was (semi) lighthearted.

Lighthearted or not there's a ring of truth in it.

Well she obviously shouldn't have left them plugged in where they were, that's a given. But as you didn't even let her know you'd tripped over them and they were broken, I sort of understand her PA message. If I were you, I wouldn't replace them on principle as it's not your fault they're broken. But if I were someone who valued a harmonious relationship more, I'd offer to go halves. IME, people who straighten their hair each day are very self conscious if they have to go out without doing it... £50 (or even £100) is a fairly small price to pay for your partner's self esteem.

Very true Kiss!

So she left them in a really stupid and dangerous place.

you tripped over them by walking through a door.

They had no visible damage so you put them back.

She wakes and texts you angrily that you broke them?

how did she know you broke them? did she hear them fall?

if she did why didn't she a) check them straight away to check they were working and b) why didn't you give her a telling off for leaving them in a dangerous place, being plugged in and causing a trip hazard?

If she didn't how can she be sure it was you who broke them? The wiring was dodgy, as you say, and they had sometimes refused to work. Who is to say this wasn't one of those days when they refused to work?

I stand by my previous comment. She should pay to replace them.

however, offering her the repair cost is very reasonable. If she refuses to accept the offer of the cost of a repair then tough. she should fork out the rest for a new set because they were already in need of a repair and she left them in dangerous place.

lying we haven't been out that much in the past 12 months and the things we've done have been low/no cost, but other things she's wanted to do she's done with friends and family. This year both her and her sister wanted to go to a particular holiday destination so they went together. I was fussed so it suited us both.

Well Like you are actually testing why being married and having separate accounts can be extremely hard to handle. And why just pooling everything together is much easier when you have a difference in income that is noticeable.
I would be :( at having to stop doing things that I can afford because my other half can't. And just as :( at going into 'yay I will pay for that but you will have to pay me back' and 'I'll pay FOR you as GIFT' type of reaction.

In effect your issue isn't about a pair of hair straightener. Your issue is about managing finances and a relationship when you don't pool finances. If I was you (and your DW for that matter) I would be looking into it because you will end up in a similar situation if you decide to have children and your DW goes on ML etc etc....

Are you sure you aren't going to get ressentful that she can afford to do X and y when you can't?
Are you sure you won't resentful of never doing nice things together or to spend less time together because she wants to do X and you can't afford it?

It feels like a very unequal relationhsip to me ands not one I would be happy in in the long run.

twat that is pretty much how it played out. If I'd known they were broken I'd have woken her to tell her, but as it was I just moved them aside, cursed under my breath and got on with getting ready for work. She must have heard that hit the floor.