To think I shouldn't pay for replacement GHD hair straighteners

[LikeDylanInTheMovies]

I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable here.

My wife has a pair of 5 year old God hair straighteners. They have an intermittent wiring fault that means they are very much hit and miss in their operation.

She'd used them last night and left them plugged in and balanced precariously on the mantle piece with the wire dangling down. As I walked into the lounge this morning I got my foot caught around the trailing wire (nearly going flying in the process) and pulled the straighteners off the mantelpiece and onto the stone floor below.

I've had a series of angry texts demanding that I buy her a new pair of ghd straighteners at a cost of £100 plus. (We have separate finances)

I think she's being unreasonable. Because

A) They were a knackered pair of straighteners on their last legs that she would have needed to replace anyway in the next few months.

B) left in such a stupid place they were bound to get damaged and cause an accident in the process.

I've offered £30 towards the cost of a replacement, but she is adamant I should pay the full cost of a new pair.

AIBU?

It was going to cost £25 to get my GHDs fixed at the place I used. However for £30 + your old straigtners you could get a refurbished pair. It was a good deal because the ones that I got were still the older style but were better than the ones that had died on me.

Your wife may be better with refurbished ones.

excited thanks I'll look into that when I get in. To clarify; by saying I was a saver, I don mean I tend to be more prudent and can make money last the whole month and am better at planning for any big expenditure on the horizon like car tax - I certainly don't have savings sitting around doing nothing. Whereas she tends to go through money quickly after payday so the last 10 days before payday are penury.

So you didn't tell her that you'd broken them or apologise? She had to text you about it?

Would you replace an item you had broken if it belonged to a friend?

fwiw I don't think this has anything to do with having separate finances. Myself and DH have separate finances, this wouldn't be an issue.

Not being able to afford something doesn't stop it from being your responsibility. You're either responsible or you're not. If you can't afford it just now then you have a chat about how and when you can replace it.

Accidents happen. My lovely DH is very understanding of me when I damage/break something accidentally. We are all only human and surely it's better to work out what to do than to argue the toss or offer a quarter of the amount with a snide comment. Both of you pay whatever you can. And if that's still not enough, maybe the cost can go on a credit card and deferred for a month.

Seriously neither of you sound like you are invested in being kind to each other. It sounds like you are both so keen on proving you are in the right, supporting the other person is not on your radar at all.

You were clumsy, careless and actually broke them. The age of them is neither here nor there. She probably, with hindsight should not have left them there.

In your position I would have apologised and offered to pay half for a replacement.

I'm trying to imagine it's something really expensive, like one of us writes off the car. I still think my reaction would be oh no! / are we both ok? / how the hell are we going to pay for that?! It wouldn't be recrimination or financial demands. If you're in the partnership, that's how it works.

Exactly passing. We had that kind of that problem 20 years ago when we had two cars off the road, a £1700 bill to pay, which we couldn't afford and no way for either of us to get to work without lifts/help or taxis. I worked 10 miles away with no direct bus links. It was stressful, financially draining and we got through it and without much drama.

So she leaves her faulty (fool - get them fixed or bin them) straighteners plugged in (fool - classic way to start a fire) in a stupid place (fool), and then when the inevitable happens starts sending nasty texts?

imagine this turned around so it is the bloke that is this nasty. MN would be screaming 'leave'. While that seems a bit extreme, she sounds like a spoilt teen.

if this is real, of course.

According to the law of Mumsnet all money is family money. So you don't owe her anything. She shouldn't be using electrical items with dodgy wiring in any case. So you did her a favour really.

If it was me I would pay half

As a man you may be underestimating how much your wife loves her GHDs.
I would be distraught if mine broke as I would have to resort to going out looking like Wurzel Gummidge.

In the event of a fire I would rescue
my children,
my GHDs
and my husband.

Possibly in that order

OP, I have separate finances from my husband. We pay different things. I earn more than he does. If he needed more money, I'd shift it over to him, ditto the other way around too.

Ignore the 'joint account or you're a freak and I'd divorce you' bollocks. Nobody knows what your relationship is like other than you. Yes, this is just about straighteners and GHDs are fabulous but no electrical appliances should be used if they're faulty, it's dangerous. They should never be left plugged in either, that's just foolish.

You can get cheap ones brand new from supermarkets (about £12, I think), they're not as good as GHD but they're massively better than burning the house down.

The posters telling you not to buy from Ebay are saying so because there have been - may still be - a lot of fake ones on there. Still cost ££ but less than new GHDs from a stockist. I would possibly take the existing GHDs in for a quote for repair but would start setting aside a bit each month (both of you) for a new set.

I realised that I'd knocked them on the ground but was in a hurry so didn't check them fully. I couldn't see any obvious damage and I just moved them out of the way.

I should have apologised straightaway but I felt (and to an extent still do) that a pair of straighteners left on the very edge of a mantelpiece and stretched across a doorway like tripwire to a plug on the other side of the door (and not mentioning them to me where they were there) means that it wasn't wholly or primarily my fault. To be then be looking at being out of pocket to a degree it will make things financially awkward (by way of illustration, I'm on a zero hours contact at work and didn't earn enough to pay tax).

Mind you she probably feels the same as me but the other way round. Maybe we can be a bit more adult about it when we get in.

If she left them plugged in as described, it is mostly her fault that they got damaged. It's dangerous and inconsiderate.

Are the plates or body of strighteners visibly damaged or do they look funstionally ok but just don't turn on? It could be that the already loose wire has detatched

Blimey, she left them like a tripwire? Sounds like a set-up to me...

No seriously, I don't think you should pay the entire sum for a new set. And she shouldn't bloody well leave them plugged in AT ALL, they're dangerous!

It was a stupid (and dangerous) place to leave them I wouldn't replace them

Half each sounds fair. They were hardly in the middle of the floor, if you had been more careful they wouldn't have broken...much what you are saying about her.

If you don;t have the money, then maybe it's time to actually TALK to her and see it can be organised.
It might be that neither of you have the money yet. It might be that you need to save for a bit, go wo something else etc...

But not telling her and leaving her to discover the issue, being sarcastic, not apologising..... You reacted like a child TBH.

I also fully disagree with anyone implying that the OP can just buy a pair of cheap straighteners from the supermarket instead.
That is really upp to his DW to decide if she is happy with. If someone was buying me a £12 product in replacement of a £100, I would be furious.
His DW could well have ear own reasons to use this particular brand. I know a friend of mine swear by the ones she has and would never use anything else. So I would see that as going on the cheap, not caring for my own wishes and telling me that I am extravagent in my spending anyway.

The issue of the safety is a different one that shoould be discussed separately but it doesn't seem that the OP was that bothered by it in the first place so really isn;t in the position to use that 'argument' to avoid spending the real cost of replacing the item he has broken.

Maybe we can be a bit more adult about it when we get in

Surely that's what you should have started with
Don't expect someone to react as an adult when you react and act as a child. That's basic psychology.

Tbh, if I had broken something important of my husband's I'd be a bit more repentant... Your relationship sounds odd.

You can pick up second hand on ebay for £20, I'd buy her one of those.

Then spend the money you save on some joint counselling doesn't sound like you have a particularly harmonious relationship.

Watch out for particularly cheap ones, they'll be fake. The fakes are incredibly good- I had a pair a number of years ago and they looked spot on with the proper box, cd and everything. If you're buying new then buy from an official stockist.

Generally we rub along quite well, but this situation bought out the worst in both of us. I really don't think snitty comments about marriage guidance are helpful thanks.