DD return from University

[user1465822474]

Only DD returned from Uni last week, skint. No sign of any summer job on the horizon (hinting will have the opposite effect to encouragement I fear), expecting free board and lodging for the summer (fine) and to be fed as well (not fine). AIBU to ask her to pay for her own food? She's got an extremely healthy appetite and certainly hasn't starved when at Uni- her diet has been way better than ours actually. Me and husband are both really hard up at the moment because both self employed and owed money so we really can't afford this- or any luxuries. My only one is a quarterly trip to the hygienist for a tooth polish but now I'm feeling guilty about that as DD says she's in real need of one too but can't afford it. Can feel resentment building up at same rate as bank account getting depleted (and we have until October of this, potentially). Don't want to upset her but not sure how best to approach the conversation we'll need to have pretty soon.

The thought of living with 30 other uni students would be my idea of hell!

Schwab, no definitely not too late. I've seen a few ads in the last week. The summer has started, but peak is school summer holidays and not many places in Europe have started yet. Small hotels etc. pick up extra staff when they see what their bookings are like.

I'd agree about the need for a balance between support (great to have you back) and encouragement (the long break is a chance to do things.)

Just a month after her 18th birthday my daughter went off to do a university course in a very competitive pressured environment, in a place where the expectations are very high. (She'd worked ferociously hard for A-Levels and put herself through an additional competitive entrance process, in which she succeeded). I can see that she's continued to challenge herself by arranging to go off for over a month to a completely unfamiliar place on the other side of the world. She'll also have plenty of reading to do for next year.

I think she also just needs to spend part of the summer be in a place that feels safe and comfortable - to process the last year, and to gather strength for the next one.

Ah I stand corrected about it being too late to get a summer job in the holiday industry abroad - I know the big holiday companies who provide "packages" with flights and insurance and accommodation recruit well in advance and it is normal to apply before Christmas to work the whole summer season, generally starting fairly early in June. I guess they might still have vacancies for people who drop out, and of course smaller places might work on a more ad hoc basis.

Do people really think that an 18 with no language skills/experience will get a job a an overseas holiday resort?
Ive got 20+ years catering exp and okish Spanish and there is ZERO work here (spanish island) Those jobs went long ago to, y'know, Spanish students who can speak english and german and have had plenty of experience before the age of 18!

But there are generally things like uk based call centre or pub work available. She doesn't have to go abroad, it's merely an option.

No, not in tourism, but on summer camps for kids etc, ads pop up in my inbox every day. Outfits like Don Quijote etc. I've also just helped a family friend (Italian, 17 when she applied, 4th year of high school) apply for and get a month in the UK working in a summer school.

SantanaBinLorry why assume no language skills? The OP hasn't said whether her DD has language skills because it wasn't immediately relevant. The OP has also never returned to the thread so really its a general hypothetical discussion about how students spend the summer, with a vague focus on students who haven't made any plans by the middle of June and now need to earn some money...

I didn't know about this site before but a quick google suggests there are seasonal jobs which enthusiastic and willing to be flexible (i.e. be available to work random hours and do whatever for low pay) 18-25s (and above too of course) people without any real skill set would be accepted to do!

www.seasonworkers.com/summerjobs/resorts/summerjobsinfrance.aspx

She's not going to get front of house in a large Spanish resort, but kitchen porter in a small Austrian hotel or Dutch bungalow park may well be an option. Several of the bungalow parks are advertising open days for summer vacancies at the minute. It's not fun work, it's just something to look at in addition to looking at home, which may seem more exciting than kitchen porter in her local hospital.

If the family is so short of money that feeding the girl is a problem and visiting the dentist is a luxury, then visiting open days in another country for a possible job opportunity seems a bit of a luxury too. Why do I get the impression that certain posters have never really been short of money?

I am liking the different suggestions actually. Will prove a good read for someone looking for work in that situation!

FFS, I'm not suggesting she goes to the open days! I'm pointing out there are people recruiting right now. And I've suggested that if she found work abroad she got get the v cheap bus. I did actually do kitchen porter work through temp agencies in uni holidays, I know what these jobs are like.

I am having fun trying to decide what the - quite possibly non-existent daughter - is like. Where and what is she studying now? And what did she do at school. Whereabouts in the country do they live? Can she speak any languages? What work, if any has she done before? What are her parents like, do they live together and what sort of self-employment is it? Just how much does she eat? Is she happy and doing well at university? Or not?

We may never ever know....

The deal for us was always, whilst you are working you pay, whilst you are studying you don't. At high school we had part time jobs at the weekend and got to keep the money. At university it was the same, except in the holidays when we paid for board/lodgings. Not having a job during the summer break was not an option. There is always something young people can do to earn some extra cash.

It might not really solve the financial woes, but being self employed, could you insist she works for you to "pay" for her keep? This was my dad's solution if any of us had no job. For me it was an incentive to go out and find another job, for my sister it was her route into his business which, 20 years later she runs very successfully 😂

Well, im assuming OP's (fictional) daughter probably dosnt have many skills langauge or other if she hasnt worked out that she'll need some kind of a job before finishing first year if uni.
Hardly willing, flexible or enthusiastic!

The page above, Spain section has 8 jobs advertised. One starting 2017, 2 managerial, one supervisory, one driving and another two requiring experience in child care and sports.

Nothing like kitchen porter/housekeeping work.

ah shes your kid, feed and keep, her but tell her she needs a job or you will have to rent her room out, as you need help with cash.

Santanda Spain isn't the only country, other destinations are available

The one on P&O ferries would work for a student... only if they lived in Dover though.

Anyone looking for a summer job would of course be much better advised to organise themselves 8+ months in advance - vastly better options that way even if low skilled.

ElinorRigby have been thinking the same !

It is also oddly like lots of secondary school/A-level/university entrance threads.

If the child does not do this/if the parent does not do that, they are doomed eternally.

Elinor the OP and her daughter are doomed eternally unless the DD gets a job though, given the OP is not going to feed her DD for 4 months and the DD has no money... One imminent corporal doom and one metaphysical or spiritual one, if you believe in that sort of malarkey

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne :) Hajaha, I know... just started there, was quite interested for myself! Might head to Italy putting up tents next summer though. Best get planning ;)