To think people blathering on on FB about wishing their 1 year old a happy birthday represents all that's wrong with the world?!

[SweetElizaRose]

I know, I know, hide it and don't use FB.

There seems to have been a tidal wave of people on my FB wall wishing their children who are much too young to have FB, or in fact be able to read, a happy birthday. Said parent then goes on for several hundred words about how awesome their child is and how awesome being a parent is and oh god it's all so amazing. Some people must spend their lives being constantly amazed by very very little. It's just showboating isn't it? No wonder these kids grow up so entitled and thinking they're god's gift.
I'm going to delete them.
Along with people who keep sharing memories of their children from a couple of years ago and writing 'can't believe how small they were.' Well yes, that's what happens, they get bigger.
And people who post those 'share if you have an amazing son / daughter who is your world'
Just for once I'd like to read one that says 'share if your kids are pretty average.'

Potentially I am very grumpy from having no sleep...

Bit of over reaction OP.
If it bothers you that much then like you say, delete them and job done. Move on.

revoltingpeasent that was a great post, thank you, it helped me.

I think there could be all sorts of things going on:

lots of people just doing what is expected in their social circle

some people, as Aeroflot suggests, desperately trying to convince themselves that they are still blessed though going through shitty times

some genuinely grateful because they have been to rock bottom with fear of losing their child and "Well yes, that's what happens, they get bigger" is not something they are ever going to take for granted again

watts :)

Well I agree with you OP and I don't have PND. But I suppose those of us who prefer to receive birthday cards, receive phone calls from those who care about us and interact with real people may indeed appear 'odd'. How does the conversation go with DD....."oh look darling, 60 Facebook friends have wished you happy birthday?"

50 people gunned down by a zealot on steroids is all that's wrong with the world.
Wishing your toddler a happy birthday on FB is ... Well it's fine. Really.

You're not doing it for the toddler, you're doing it for family and friends. I live abroad so rarely see people and I am fine with the 'baby Is one! Hurrah!' Posts. Way worse shit gets posted on Facebook.

Ahh, rift skip ...

Well, I totally sympathise with that. Pnd is an absolute shit. I think the phrase 'comparison is the thief of joy' is pretty relevant. People don't post the bad stuff.

I don't post the endless nights spent with a baby waking every ten minutes, or the days we've spent crying in unison because we're so. Fucking.tired. I do post the nice bits (infrequently.)

Are you getting any help/support? Kids are exhausting. Lovely, but knackering.
Be kind to yourself.

Really rude gipsy, absolutely no need to be so bloody nasty to the op.

200 photos of a kids set to 'Sweet Child O' Mine' is hilarious OP.

I don't think a happy birthday message is so bad at all, providing it's not a gushing essay - otherwise I'd agree with 'showboating'. On the happy birthday bit, you're being a bit unreasonable.

The memes about SHARE IF YOUR CHILD IS A MIRACLE and shit are sickening in my opinion. Sorry, your child ain't a miracle. Procreating is the LEAST miraculous thing. It's basic biology - miracles are remarkable happenings. Or SHARE IF YOU LOVE YOUR MUM. Please! For that, YANBU.

Yeah, I'd agree on the entitlement bit. Too many parents tell their kids they're incredible little miracles who can be anything they want to be. Sets a bit of an unrealistic precedent for the poor things IMO.

I have had my fair share of suffering from PND and depression in general.
When you have depression it does make you feel like crap when it seems that people have perfect lives, perfect children, a perfect house etc etc... It just makes you feel worse.

But those people's lives carry on and they will continue to be seemingly happy and they will carry on posting things, which they have the right to do so. From your OP title, I thought it was a massive overreaction when you said people posting photos of their children is what is wrong with the world. It isn't.

But in your own world though, people's FB posts are one of the things that is triggering your unhappy feelings. That garners a more sympathetic response and it's not an overreaction. I really understand, and a couple of years ago I had to hide a few of my friends on FB who have children - not because their posts were tedious and annoying (they were lovely posts), but because I felt like I was failing and I felt that I wasn't giving my children the best life possible like it seemed they were. I still get those feelings now tbh.

I don't write stauses to my 2 year old ds but I do post pics of him and write what we have been up to. Having lost my previous partner and last year having lost a baby I want to enjoy my ds.

Yes some people might be ott about their children but it is harmless. At least the children are loved.

By the way BleakBetty I have never posted anything about my child being a miracle but when you lose a baby to anencephaly you do feel the healthy child you already have is a miracle. ..

I love these and think it is just a sign of the times. A lot of my family and close friends live far away. In previous generations I would probably have seen every niece, nephew and close friend for a birthday party or similar. I love to see their little smiling face and acknowledge their birthday when time and finances are too tight to individually send gifts for each.

I love the fact that I posted a pic on Facebook of my youngest for her recent birthday; she was born following an expat posting so many of my close friends have only met her once or twice. They feel a connection with her partly through seeing her pic on social media fairly often and she remains special to friends who acknowledge her birthday as a result of this reminder. I would never expect those 20 people to send gifts individually and the card/gift isn't needed but an acknowledgement is lovely for me as her parent. I feel supported as a mum and glad that people give a shit.

Vikyboo I'm sorry for your loss, and I imagine it definitely does feel that way. I'm sure in some circumstances some parents, such as those who have battled infertility or miscarriage, feel like their child is a miracle.

I get that. But I just think the term is a bit off - children are bloody lovely. But I don't think they're miracles in general.

I think pics, happy birthdays, sharing updates = fine.

Stupid memes/showboating that encourage competitive motherhood or are designed to make others feel bad = block.

Have a biscuit and cheer the fuck up!

The world needs more love.

Chris, from an environmental pov acknowledging everybody's birthday with a piece of cardboard wrapped in paper is not actually that brilliant. And why is it more "interacting with real people". If the real person is there, you don't need a card; if they are not there, a card is as unreal as a text or a message on Facebook.

Facebook is not the place to be when you feel out of the social game.

It is ott what goes on on facebook and I find it uncomfortable to see how much some people want to self advertise/show off. I don't think people realise what it looks like to others sometimes. Some people are obsessed with their own health/the bad weather and make themselves sound like grumps. Others with every little achievement they/their kids have and sound like they are self obsessed. Others use it as a political soap box. It's very revealing about people's characters and what they view is important in life.

I just think 'ah well, they love their kids and that's the main thing'.

yabu. I think sharing nice news is exactly what FB should be for. I have friends and family i don't see from one year to the next so posting pics of my dc and updates of what they are up to is the way we keep in contact. 200 pics to sweet child of mine would make me laugh tho.

The sugary or sanctimonious memes i can live without. The overusing it for every cause you agree with is tiresome and the hammering home of one specific thing daily is fucking annoying (i'm looking at you cousin who supports Israel and blames Palestine for everything wrong in the world).

But on the whole sweet pics of kids are by far not the worst thing people put on there. (there are some really inducing ones about sex with your partner too which make me clutch my pearls)

OP's right, surely? I mean, even if we 'do' Facebook (which I do), we know it is, essentially, bullshit, don't we? It's full of boasting, it promotes total self-obsession. It's surely not 'a good thing'?? If you are relatively level-headed, and not in a bad place psychologically, it can be a fun way to waste time. But I'm certain it does more harm than good. If we're so sure that unrealistic body images promote unhealthy attitudes (which is true, I think), why are we so sure that unrealistic life images are not causing similar issues? Social media is messed up.

I'm always a bit confused that so many MN members can't recognise a bit of hyperbole in an OP. As soon as someone exaggerates their annoyance, we get a list of things they are worse (usually from world news). Bit childish.

I actually do the 'happy birthday to small children' thing, but only in a one-photo way. I can see it's naff and I'm not thrown into a fit of anger by OP pointing this out (ss some posters clearly are).

OP I agree with you and can't believe how many people on here have basically accused you of being bitter and twisted because your opinion varies from what seems to be the norm.

Just as people are entitled to post what they want on their FB page, others are entitled to have an opinion on it.

I don't see any unrealistic life images on FB. I only have a group of about 30 people on there and (apart from weird Israel obsessed cousin) i don't see much of the things which annoy people. I like reading about the stupid memes and sex posts on here tho. Always makes me think who the fuck would post that? Fortunately not many people i know. I think if you FB friend every random you meet, then yeah you are probably going to get loads of shite.

I think quality control is the key with FB.

And i can't see it's naff to post one pic of your child and say he had a nice birthday. Surely that's no different from just showing a relative a pic when you meet up. Depends how often you do it tho and the amount of pics.

Whilst we're at it, I'm adding the "Happy Anniversary to my amazing DH, I love you so much"
That's great. Tell HIM, not the rest of the world!

Especially funny when you think they're probably sat right next to each other.

I'm always a bit confused that so many MN members can't recognise a bit of hyperbole in an OP. As soon as someone exaggerates their annoyance, we get a list of things they are worse (usually from world news). Bit childish.

I agree with you. Yes we all know there are worse things happening right now. There's no need to point those things out every time someone has a pov about something else.