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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think she could have cleaned up a little

152 replies

meggy22 · 10/06/2016 20:41

Ok I'm asking this as I am genuinely wondering if I abu! We are visiting family. We have traveled a long way and it is the first time we have visited in 12 months. Also the first time family have met our baby. MIL offered for us to stay with her as she has a lot of space. She has a self contained 'granny flat' at the side of her house. We arrived today and it's filthy. I mean not just messy but really dirty. I am by no means fussy but I really am considering finding other accommodation. I have a two year old and a young baby. The bathroom looks like it hasn't been cleaned in a year, urine all around the toilet, poo on the toilet seat. The shower is just filthy. There's a smell in the house that I can't even describe. The floors are dirty the kitchen has mouldy old food and dishes that look like they have been there for months. Anyways you get the idea. May I add mil knew we were coming since before Christmas and offered for us to stay here.i feel like crying, this is our only annual leave this summer and I know mil will hit the ceiling if we say we can't stay here. So please tell me what would you do and aibu???

OP posts:

HPandBaconSandwiches · 10/06/2016 21:14

Leave, but take lots of photos before you go, so when she starts telling relatives her woe is me tale, you can pass on the images.

So sorry she's done this to you. How unbearably unkind.

Beeziekn33ze · 10/06/2016 21:14

How horrible for you, hope your holiday improves. The flat doesn't sound as if it would meet any reasonable person's standards, what a snidey thing to say to you.

hmcAsWas · 10/06/2016 21:15

What a strange woman your MIL is. Does she have 'form' for this sort of thing?

FannyFifer · 10/06/2016 21:15

How awful, wicked woman she is.

MsVestibule · 10/06/2016 21:15

How are you going to find self catering accommodation at this late stage? Surely it would be much cheaper (although annoying) to pay for a cleaner to come in for a few hours? You say you'd be too embarrassed for a cleaner to see the state it's in, but I can't imagine it's anything they haven't seen before!

KissMyArse · 10/06/2016 21:17

YANBU

I wouldn't wait until tomorrow, I'd be out of there tonight.

5BlueHydrangea · 10/06/2016 21:18

Very odd behaviour. With your 2 young children I would leave ASAP.
Has she not come in there with you? Surely it must be obvious to anyone how horrid it is. Show her the kitchen and bathroom and see what response you get.

Rainbunny · 10/06/2016 21:19

I'm really curious as to what your dh thinks about this? I can't get my head around the state that the bathroom you described is in!

Leta86 · 10/06/2016 21:20

Good heavens!!! I wouldn't even be staying for the night (sorry, I'm a bit tidy freak, especially concerning bathrooms)...

I suspected old age/not coping or a tenant from hell, but "Is it not up to your standards left me speechless!!! Literally WTF?!?!?!

and I hope you can gather enough resilience to enjoy the rest of the holiday!

EvansAndThePrince · 10/06/2016 21:22

Good grief!! Absolutely don't stay or clean and if be telling her straight that prison cells are cleaner! I do not know this as fact

Completely disgusting thing to do.

IsItGinTimeYet · 10/06/2016 21:22

I would be stressed just putting the DC's to bed nevermind eating or washing. Definitely go asap.

fraggle84 · 10/06/2016 21:24

Definitely leave

DiggersRest · 10/06/2016 21:25

You says she doesn't like you but what about her DS and her DGC? That is a very shitty thing to do to you OP. Would you normally clean (my Dmum is a clean freak and would clean if someone left her accommodation like that).

I think you're doing the right thing leaving in the morning. Agree with PP take photos to show if she starts on the poor me meggy was so rude and left shit

underneaththeash · 10/06/2016 21:25

I just go out and get some stuff to clean it with.
I think it is very rude and you'll obviously not stay there again, but as you're there already....
But it depends how filthy it is. I bought something once to cook in my FIL's kitchen and refused as it had maggots crawling along the sink. We weren't staying there though,

blankmind · 10/06/2016 21:25

Photograph all the mess, especially the kitchen and bathroom, so when there's a big family argument afterwards, you can show everyone who wasn't there but has an opinion exactly what a filthy state she expected you to stay in.

UnGoogleable · 10/06/2016 21:25

I would let your DH deal with her. Don't let her spin this as 'you being fussy'

Sounds minging.

Original poster

meggy22 · 10/06/2016 21:26

Dh thought that we should clean it at first but now he's furious. We are going try get a B and B which really isn't ideal with two young ones we would have much preferred self catering accommodation. I have absolutely no idea why it's so filthy and why the bathroom has been left like that. I can only assume her and fil are filthy! She has a cleaner that cleans her house so I have no idea why she didn't get the cleaner in to clean this mess. we are both upset and don't know how we will face spending time with them now they have done this :(. Thanks for all the responses

OP posts:

SocksRock · 10/06/2016 21:28

Can you look for a last minute deal on cottages4U or similar? You are not in the main holiday season so you might be able to get something if you phone the first thing and talk through what they have available close to you

Zucker · 10/06/2016 21:31

Sounds like this was done on purpose really. No advice other than get out of there and don't blinkin clean it for her fgs!

How did you keep control of yourself when she asked was it not up to your standards? Is she normally a cow?

DeathStare · 10/06/2016 21:31

Is her cleaner due in the next couple of days? If he/she is could you ask them to clean the flat?

blankpieceofpaper · 10/06/2016 21:34

find something on airbnb? you can often hire whole place.

Put your family wellbeing first!

MammaTJ · 10/06/2016 21:34

'We're leaving now because, no, it is not up to my standards. It is not even up to the standards of someone who gets Kim and Aggie in to work things out. Did you really think it was acceptable to make your Grandchildren stay in such filth to prove a point? Point proven. Goodbye, forever'.

DreamingOfAFullNightsSleep · 10/06/2016 21:36

Good luck finding a cottage or something op. Sounds dreadful, your MIL is clearly a piece of work. I wouldn't stay and deep clean her flat after her filthy habits

BastardGoDarkly · 10/06/2016 21:36

There is No Way I would clean that place! She knows exactly what she's done, and the only solution I'd be looking for was myself and my family leaving.

Maybe get a b&b for the night, then scout around for something more suitable? You never know.

Iknownuffink · 10/06/2016 21:37

Take photographs, do not clean up and leave.

Take the photo's tonight.

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