Friends forget, we remember... Every single year!!!

[Bipet1984]

Our best man and wife forget our anniversary!!! EVERY YEAR!! And after it’s gone they go: "sorry guys, we’re rubbish." On the other hand we get them a little pressie and a card for their wedding anniversary. Every year.
Wouldn’t you think if you wanted to remember something you’d jot it in the calendar after the 1st time?

Would you stop the present and card for their anniversary or would you carry on?
I don’t want it to look catty by stopping acknowledging their anniversary but at the same time it would be nice even if they just remembered the day.
AIBU? It’s not that much about the anniversary, it’s more about the principle.

[bbcessex]

Wow. YABVU. An 'anniversary-zilla'... who knew?

Please write a post about how you havd fallen out with best man and wife due to lack of cardage !!!Y

[LizzieMacQueen]

As my granny used to say, only the people inside the couple know whether it is a 'Happy' anniversary.

[ElizabethLemon]

"anniversary-zilla" 😅!

Anniversaries are for you and your partner, no one else.

[RiverTam]

I don't think even my mum or sister remember ours, and no friends do, but I wouldn't have a clue when anyone else's is.

[Bolograph]

I have to work the date of my own wedding out from historical events that took place that week and a memory of what day of the week it was. I survive.

[Bipet1984]

bbcessex There is no need to be rude. I'm far from a zilla, just thought I'd hear people's opinions about anniversary cards. I mean we live in a country that a card is sent for everything. I wasn't born here, so once I moved to England it felt like everyone lives to send cards.... :)

[123rd]

I don't think other people are as engrossed in your lives... I send family members a card. No present. But not friends. You can't really expect other people to either.
But if you only give to receive -then stop giving.

[Janey50]

Just don't bother giving them anything for their next anniversary. They are hardly in a position to complain are they? Tbh,I didn't think that anyone but the couple themselves actually observed the anniversary,especially after the first couple of years. I admit that I don't even give my DD and SIL a card now that they have been married 10 years. To most people outside of the family,it is no big deal.

[Goingtobeawesome]

I send everyone in the family anniversary cards. We get cards off PIL and BIL (not every year for him). I've found once I've sent a friend one anniversary card it would feel rude to stop [dilemma). Same with family really.

[AugustaFinkNottle]

It never occurred to me to expect a card from DH's best man. We used to get them from our parents, and now get one from DD - DS has no hope of remembering.

[TwirlsInTwirlsOutAgain]

We've been married for years now, and no way do I expect family and friends to remember the anniversary, never mind give us cards/presents!
Our parents always get us a card, but it's not expected - and I certainly wouldn't expect anyone else to get us a card either!

[MimsyBorogroves]

I find it bizarre to think about other people's anniversaries. But that's come from my parents, who are happily married, but expect no fuss from anyone, and just get each other a card. I remember once, as a teen, asking if I should get them a card as well and my mum saying it was a lovely gesture, but I came way later than the ceremony so they certainly didn't expect such a thing and to save my money for myself. Which made sense.

DH's family are big on anniversary celebrations. His parents receive cards and presents, his sister receives a card, we get cards...different expectations I suppose but I still think it's a celebration between the couple alone really.

[TheNaze73]

I think YABVU. I don't think anyone really cares.

If it bothers you, don't send them a card.

[girlinacoma]

Our anniversary always comes as a pleasant surprise to us each year. We only realise the date when a card comes through the door.

[Notso]

Oh god, every year we have two anniversary cards on our anniversary. One from PIL and one from the registrar who married us, also a family friend.

[sue51]

It would never occur to me to buy anyone other than DH an anniversary card. I have been to a shed load of weddings and there is no way I am going to send a card to every couple from now till I meet my maker.

[miaowmix]

I've got a friend who reminds me of another friend's anniversary every year. I'm like 'great! thanks for letting me know'. And then no action required .

Seriously, this is not the done thing, and I speak as someone who sends birthday cards to pets!

My sister ups the ante by buying everyone she's ever met a thank you gift - every nursery assistant, teaching assistant, healthcare assistant, yuo name it, Diptyque candle anyone? It just puts the pressure on!

[SuperFlyHigh]

weird weird weird.

up to you if you remember theirs but you shouldn't expect the same in return.

[AddictedToCoYo]

We barely even remember or celebrate our own anniversary, never mind anyone else's.

They are obviously not that bothered about that sort of thing. I am not bothered about that sort of thing either. You clearly are, so enjoy your own anniversary with your DH and stop sending cards and presents to your friends, who are probably a bit by it, and sort of wish you wouldn't because it makes them feel bad that they can't be bothered.

[blitheringbuzzards1234]

I've never worried about anyone else's wedding anniversary - I don't think this is at all unusual. Myself and hubby only bothered about ours.
I once had a colleague who got very upset when a friend sent her and hubby a card for this event, saying that it should only be for the couple themselves to celebrate privately (!) - in fact she was inordinately put out about it.
Only if it's a significant number and there's a party would I even send a card - I can't even remember anyone else's special date anyway.

[bbcessex]

Actually OP, I deleted my original text stating what I really thought, which was lucky if you think what I ended up posting was rude! !

Seems you will see from the main gist of responses that maybe card - sending is not as prolific as you thought.

I

[SuperFlyHigh]

ah OP I think first anniversary of DB and SIL's wedding I sent a card... don't know why...

they said thanks then I forgot about it...

[LaBelleOtero]

Some of the people in my family mark each others anniversaries, but not me. That's one set of hassles I'm opting out of!

[NicknameUsed]

OH and I don't even buy each other a card or present. We just go out for a meal.

My mum and MIL used to buy us anniversary cards, and my sister did for our first anniversary, but none since then. The only time I bought one for my sister and her husband was for their silver wedding anniversary last year.

Basically, I only buy cards for significant anniversaries.