.. to think that "I fear for my sons" and ..

[BertrandRussell]

"I feel sorry for my sons" are just new ways of saying "I hate feminists"?

And as a feminist mother of two boys who worries about their future in the world, a feminist who has actually railed & fought for my right to be valued as an equal throughout my career, I am 'bored' of the same stale rhetoric from several armchair feminists.

Thats the context right there.

That's not a context.

None of the goady posts are making any headway. Or much sense. Business as usual then.

mangomoon

having a husband that did more than a fair share of the 'wife work' as well as also having a full time job himself;

So treating him unfairly. Isn't that the point some people have made? Although, having read the rest of your post, I'm a little confused as to where the sarcasm is ("I'm a misogynist"). The problem with written vs verbal language

everyoneElsie

We end up talking about men even when we try to talk about women

By "men", are you referring to the "sons" in the thread title? Salt and vinegar for that chip on your shoulder?

Something that's finally struck me after years and years on MN (yes, many, many NCs) is that the problem with feminism is its name (ignoring what it's become). If it were called equalityism then it wouldn't have the problems of people disliking it and accusing it of man-hating*. If we were discussing how society should or is equal then it's hard to argue against without being obviously bigoted. By being feminism and taking the adversarial sex vs sex approach, it causes much more anger on both sides. The 'calm down dears' and the 'men are useless and rapists waiting for an opportunity'

*although, much of it nowadays does seem to be about that

ps. anyone else involuntarily shudder when the read or hear "internalised misogyny"?

What goady posts?

EveryoneElsie

In what context is it wrong to express worry over your sons?

It's a simple question.

How do you get from "I worry about little johnny Mcrealchild" to "I hate feminists".

We need context.

ive realised that some on mn have no clue what feminism is or have some warped view of it

The nutty men hating, women are always the victim, and dv to men must be their fault somehow nutters that seem to be all over this forum. Thank god I've not met any in RL though As ESD said.

enter, he did more than a fair share purely because of the way things worked out for us - the sort of work we were in, illnesses I had (mental as well as physical) etc.
He went above and beyond what would be seen as fair & equal at times - as did I at other times.

The sarcasm was that I am (as usual on these threads) fed up of being equated to a MRA or a misogynist because I don't agree with every little part of the MN How To Be A Proper Feminist Checklist.

Enter, the tone of my post to you just now was in a conversationalist tone btw - I just read it back and it sounds abrupt, sorry!

Jason did you miss the 'I hate feminists' bit of the OP? As Everyone pointed out - that's the context.

I have a son. When I became a mother, a well of anxiety opened up that I could never have imagined. I didn't feel offended by the OP.

It didn't label me as a misogynist because I'd never use the words 'I worry about my son' to shut down feminists or argue against feminists challenging the status quo.

If anyone had been labelled a misogynist for worrying about their son then I could see why they would be offended but that's not what happened here.

I have a son and a daughter, I fear for them both in the world as it is at the moment.

But I fear for my daughter more, the statistics on sexual assaults against women are frightening.

Jason did you miss the 'I hate feminists' bit of the OP? As Everyone pointed out - that's the context.

I didn't miss it
That's not a context.

It didn't label me as a misogynist because I'd never use the words 'I worry about my son' to shut down feminists or argue against feminists challenging the status quo.

Okay now THIS is context.

Is this what the op was getting at?

You carry on Jason, you are making a great point there. The sandbox is big enough for everyone.

Would you like some crayons? We can share.

So what the OP is asking isn't:

to think that "I fear for my sons" and "I feel sorry for my sons" are just new ways of saying "I hate feminists"?

But is really talking about shutting down feminists or arguing against feminists challenging the status quo?

See if the Originial Post had some kind of context, it would stop the confusion.

For example
AIBU to think "I worry about my sons future" is not a response to a thread on increasing cases of domestic violence.

Surely it depends what you're trying to 'shut down'/challenge by saying that? When I see some people posting things that suggest all boys/men are rapists unless they've been taught otherwise or that if a woman makes an allegation against a man then we should automatically believe her because she's a woman then I feel very uncomfortable and worried for my sons and I have no problem in challenging those types of opinions. Even if that makes me anti-feminist by some MNers' standards.

YADNBU
It often comes up in discussions about rape on here. 'Ooh, I worry for my poor sons, with all these nasty women who accuse men of rape, ooh, what if someone thinks my sons a rapist?!'

Boo hoo. I worry about my daughter being raped, pretty sure that trumps your concerns.

ou carry on Jason, you are making a great point there.

Thank you, i do try to. I think what has happened is the lack of context which has left people, myself included confused.

As a blanket statement, no it's not wrong to worry about sons.

Jason I made the point about context in my first post.
Fearing for our DCs (of both sexes) is natural and valid. Fearing that boys will be damaged by feminism is nonsense imo but that doesn't stop MRAs from saying it.

Thank you scone, you've provided context, now everyone is on the same page and knows what the OP is talking about.

The discussion can start.

Pedantic insistance on specific points, muddying the water, belittling, denigrating, all common posts on threads such as this.
'As A Mother of Sons' is just an attempt to add legitimacy to a comment that doesnt fit. Its becoming a cliche.
Its not challenging any status quo.
Its not creating any solutions to existing problems.

Yes we are allowed to comment on it and discuss it.
If the discussion bothers you, you are under no obligation to read it or join in.