.. to think that "I fear for my sons" and ..

[BertrandRussell]

"I feel sorry for my sons" are just new ways of saying "I hate feminists"?

"They are the kind of feminist men we hope our sons are."

Why do they have to be labelled 'feminist' men? Why this need to attribute what we would consider normal, human behaviour to feminism?

I dont know a single man who is afraid to walk around women. Day or night,. single women or groups.
I dont know a man who is afraid of the consequenses of wearing shorts round women.
I dont know of any men who change their behaviour to be safe around women.

I dont think most women believe the risk we live with is over exaggerated.

The original point was that when posters say 'I worry for my sons' what they mean is that when women talk about all the issues mentioned here - such as the fact that women face far more threat of sexual violence than men - what some posters immediately jump to is the effect that an acknowledgement of this fact will have on boys, as though the fact that some men will find life more difficult because they can't grope at will is a terrible thing.

To be fair this isn't clear from the first few pages.

'Sorry, that should have read the three boys at Cirencester agricultural college.

I certainly wouldn't want them anywhere near my own daughter and find the whole group sex thing repugnant, but they didn't rape her. Yet they were suspended from college before being found innocent'

What's your point here Abraiid, in the context of the thread?

"
You are trying to minimize my experience. As I explained.

If a women described a sexual assault to me, my first sentence to her wouldn't be about how I'd personally not seen it happen in that environment, however much I then went on to describe sexual assaults as bad"

I am so sorry- I didn't realise you were sharing something that had happened to you personally. How awful. I do hope the police dealt with it adequately.

I don't think you are posting in good faith YoyageOfDad. I think you are baiting her.

I hate to nitpick but the three Cirencester students weren't found innocent- the case was dropped due to insufficient evidence- and the fact that the woman concerned had an..interesting...sexual history.

Sparrow it was in relation to a post made by BR early in the thread about widespread belief of a male's rape charge. Our broadband is fading in and out because of a storm and my last post was delayed, so this one will be too. I just can't be bothered.

www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/11912748/Guilty-until-proven-innocent-life-after-a-false-rape-accusation.html

This was the one(s) I was thinking of, the young man of 17 who hanged himself. After being acquitted.

" I really don't get why it's acceptable for a woman to do those things to a man umbongo"

I don't think Umbongo has said he / she finds it acceptable, just that society accepts it.

No I know what she meant Jason. I didn't think she finds it acceptable. I know she meant society.

Actually, when I was googling the Cirencester one, I found a hideous case in Colechester where a poor bloke had been badly beaten up several time while waiting trial - and he actually was found innocent.

My DS is not NT. He stares. He makes conversation with strangers. He tries to "help" strangers and friends. He calls women "ladies". I have never used the "I fear for my son" line, but reading some of the posts on MN, his actions make him a privileged predator imposing his maleness on women.

And then I remember that this is MN, not RL and I sigh with relief.

YABU.

Dione you clearly seem to have misunderstood the whole premise of the argument.

his actions make him a privileged predator imposing his maleness on women."

No they don't.

"She certainly comes across to me as if she's reading my posts about my being assaulted and smirking whilst taking the piss."

At no point did you say you had been assaulted. I had no idea you were talking about your own experience.

"The original point was that when posters say 'I worry for my sons' what they mean is that when women talk about all the issues mentioned here - such as the fact that women face far more threat of sexual violence than men - what some posters immediately jump to is the effect that an acknowledgement of this fact will have on boys, as though the fact that some men will find life more difficult because they can't grope at will is a terrible thing."

I don't think it gets used when people are simply talking about women facing more of a threat of sexual violence. As already pointed out, it's more used in situations where people feel their sons are being automatically considered sexual predators/potential rapists/guilty because they've been accused of something by a woman.

VoyageofDad- I am very sorry if I misunderstood you. But that is not how I read your post at all. And I think it was pretty obvious that I didn't- and you allowed me to carry on misunderstanding. Which, as another poster says, does not sound like posting in good faith. I feel as if you wanted me to say something unpleasant- but in the end you had to selectively c&p to discredit me. I am genuinely sorry that you had a hideous experience.

Agree with sparrow

And i agree with bertrand

And, VofD- "in my experience" could have been as a bouncer, a bus driver, a policeman, as a regular pub goer, a waiter- any one of a hundred things. So no, I am not at fault for not understanding you.