To have the rage with parents blatantly not rsvping to dds party

[Cluesue]

Dd who will be 4 next week is having a whole class party,party is for 30 children,any extra children who attend have to be paid for above the set price,baring this in mind(there are 30 in class and 6 friends children coming) I put an rsvp date (yesterday)and asked politely if they could let me know by then as I need exact numbers.

4 !! Replies the day the invites went out and none at all til yesterday evening,where I got 3 more,physically went to speak to 3 and outright asked if they'd got the invites,yes they had them,but no bloody mention of if they are coming so I'm just assuming they are.

Well I was so peed off that I got in touch with all the people who had bothered to reply to say they could bring siblings.

As it stands there are 27 children coming,but what the fffing he'll do I do about the other 20 who haven't bothered to reply,if they turn up I'm looking at forking out another £50 plus there won't be enough room or party bags,I'm tempted to tell the staff at the venue that if they show up they either pay themselves or go home again.

First big party I've done and it will certainly be the last

back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and there were no texts or emails and some people didn't even have phones we all managed to RSVP - once the kids were old enough to hold a pen they scrawled their own note to say thanks or no thanks - before that I managed to RSVP on their behalf. I can honestly say that no one ever failed to respond - I really don't understand the mindset of people who don't respond. And the woman who was rude about someone sending regrets is plain odd.

There's been loads of threads on this. It's unconscionably rude not to RSVP and the people who try to defend it with "I'm too busy/flakey/important" to respond give me the rage.

It takes seconds to respond, literally seconds.

I think most of the people who don't reply are lacking in basic manners and social skills as in my experience they're holding out to see who else is going, along the lines of "will my dc get a lift, if they're not I can't be bothered" or "I might get a better offer and ain't gonna commit myself to sitting around a soft play area for 2 hours if I don't have to".

I made this mistake with DC1 and tore myself up in knots over the whole experience. When DC2 started school I put a clear RSVP date and then start hunting parents down on the playground and facebook. I don't really care if that puts people's noses out of joint, I'm paying for the privilege of looking after their little darlings while they bugger off to shop or go the pub, so tough!

Fuckin I really don't think captain was referring to you,you have a valid reason and like others have said its about 20 not 1

Fuckin, with kindness, you are taking this thread far too personally. You clearly have had a tough time of things and have extenuating circumstances. However, as evidenced by this thread, not RSVPing to party invites is rife and commonplace and I would imagine that the vast majority of these are due to the reasons outlined by captain crunch, but this doesn't apply to you.

But you don't have to give reasons for not attending, just say thanks for the invite but we are busy.

Again with kindness, you are taking this too personally. You have extenuating circumstances, plenty of people on this thread have said they understand why you wouldn't be able to reply, that doesn't let all the other non repliers off the hook and mean that no one can ever have a rant about them behind the anonymity of MN just in case one of them has circumstances like yours.

Wow Clue your 3 year old goes on the bus? My youngest would love that but the buses only run for compulsory school age (6+). My older two get the bus but we have a contact list for all parents (and see a lot here and there too) so it's never been an issue with chasing up.

Are you in France?

At this time of year especially, people don't want to tie themselves into a big 4 YO b/day party with some random classmate incase it's a lovely sunny weekend or a better offer comes along

No not France,Wales.
She goes on school bus(chaperoned)with Dd1 (10) but the other 3 year olds don't have siblings on with them and they are fine.

Yes fucking but what you're not understanding is that I was ranty about 20,not 1 or even 2 but 20!!!!

If it's any better I'll say 18.

And I'm ranting anonymously so its not going to affect them.

Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth...

I was clearing out a cupboard at my mum's house a few years ago and found a box with drawings and little scraps of knitting etc., that I had made when I was pretty young. Among the papers was a response to a party invitation, along with the invitation. The invitation card said "Come to a Party!" and inside was preprinted Where, When, Whose Party? with answers filled out in a childish hand by the birthday girl. My response was also scribbled 'Yes, I will Come to a Party!' and inside I had copied out When, Where, Whose Party? and answered all the questions. I hope my parents managed to get in touch with the other parents. I remember the party clearly as I leaned over too close to the cake and one of my long plaits caught alight.

It's a little difficult to figure that out Fuckin, as some of your posts appear to be directly addressing the OP, and sometimes people x-post or don't refresh their screen.

You learn something every day - I didn't know that was a Welsh thing, always thought France was where kids started trotting to school on their own at 3 (and Japan). I don't doubt she's fine - makes the not being able to chase understandable as she's too young to get numbers from her friends as kids of 6+ can.

Oh for heavens sake. Yes you have pointed out that some non responders may have extenuating circumstances. That has been acknowledged by myself and other posters. That doesn't negate the fact that most non responders are just downright rude and there is nothing wrong with anyone saying that, yet you keep repeating your point despite people acknowledging that you are correct. You can be correct, and at the same time someone else can be correct when they say most non responders are rude.

Ive been that parent. Thrilled to bits that my child has been invited but then completely forget to rsvp. I'm forgetful, not rude.

No I didn't read any of your posts and now that I have it doesn't change anything I've written. There will always be exceptional circumstances but mostly there aren't. I suggest you stop taking everything so personally.