Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 12 13

Original poster

To have the rage with parents blatantly not rsvping to dds party

309 replies

Cluesue · 07/06/2016 22:09

Dd who will be 4 next week is having a whole class party,party is for 30 children,any extra children who attend have to be paid for above the set price,baring this in mind(there are 30 in class and 6 friends children coming) I put an rsvp date (yesterday)and asked politely if they could let me know by then as I need exact numbers.

4 !! Replies the day the invites went out and none at all til yesterday evening,where I got 3 more,physically went to speak to 3 and outright asked if they'd got the invites,yes they had them,but no bloody mention of if they are coming so I'm just assuming they are.

Well I was so peed off that I got in touch with all the people who had bothered to reply to say they could bring siblings.

As it stands there are 27 children coming,but what the fffing he'll do I do about the other 20 who haven't bothered to reply,if they turn up I'm looking at forking out another £50 plus there won't be enough room or party bags,I'm tempted to tell the staff at the venue that if they show up they either pay themselves or go home again.

First big party I've done and it will certainly be the last

OP posts:

Original poster

Cluesue · 07/06/2016 23:22

Beetroot,there was a deal on whereby I could do whole class for the same price it would cost me to invite 12,just seemed a no brainer.

Sisterofpercy,wish I'd known this a fortnight ago

I always reply to invites whether a yes or no,usually the same day they are received as it's just polite to do so,never realised so many people just can't be bloody arsed.

I'm sure my Dd will have a fab time,I just have to refrain from doing bodily harm to non responders if they do turn up,because I know I'll end up paying the extra to keep the peace and not spoil Dds party.

OP posts:

Fiona80 · 07/06/2016 23:24

I haven't came across this yet. With DD1 we have a mums whats app group and most reply on that. But on the invites we only write Regrets only to RSVP and it works quite well as its easier to keep track of the few who can't attend.

I don't know why people can't send a quick text if they can't come, how rude. And it would be a nightmare for party bags and venue.

MythicalCreature · 07/06/2016 23:28

Do people actually turn up without RSVPing? I wouldn't have the brass neck to turn up if I hadn't responded to the invite!

yep, plus you get unexpected siblings and those who say they are coming and don't come.

We usually do venues with food as don't drive as catering food around is another thing - but did do it once and still needed to have an idea of numbers - as it was it was near Easter that year s very few turned up.

I have on who has a summer birthday - worse still near end of 6 weeks - that is an absolute nightmare. You have to invite enough so someone turns up but not so many it wipes us out financially.

beetroot2 · 07/06/2016 23:31

Yes it can be judged as rude. But human nature depicts that 50+ are not going to reply, life is more than busy these days for most people. Cover yourself, do a "all welcome" food may run out blanket thing, and don't "expect" is my motto.

Or you will be disappointed as the OP is.

PterodactylToenails · 07/06/2016 23:31

I am no longer shocked when I hear this because it happens all the time and it has and will always be rude. If invites go out a month before people will wait until the last minute to RSVP. Over the years I have had RSVPs come in dribs and drabs right up until the day! Those who take an age to respond to me are the ones who get a taste of their own medicine when it is their turn to send out their child's party invites!

SistersOfPercy · 07/06/2016 23:35

ithis on an invite would just make me go hmm as I binned it

Then it would have worked, Weeds out those willing to make the effort for their DC'S

VioletBam · 07/06/2016 23:36

Why should she do "All welcome" beet they're not! OP is paying for a certain number of DC. So all are not welcome.

MythicalCreature · 07/06/2016 23:36

Completely appreciate that this is not your fault but next time you speak to parents, pin them down to a yay or nay for goodness' sake!

Tried that one year - had one lie and claimed she had replied I had must have lost her text message so it was all my fault - had one parents blank me, few yes but most maybes - then had two who got really aggressive - one decided screaming in my face that child was at her Dad's that weekend so why the fuck was I bothering her really aggressive and really bad language her child wasn't there as I didn't want to cause any upset if the child couldn't come my younger ones were and got upset and I was very shaken - had no idea parents were separated and had been very polite in asking. I gave up after that.

beetroot2 · 07/06/2016 23:38

All I'm saying is stop setting yourself up for a fall Violet

Nocabbageinmyeye · 07/06/2016 23:40

Touche

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/06/2016 23:42

When my dses were that age, we had similar problems.

I used to wonder about sending out the invitation, giving the date and time but not the venue - and only telling those who RSVP where the party was.

SistersOfPercy · 07/06/2016 23:47

Thing is cabbage, if your and an invite with Johnny is having a party Sunday 23rd at 2pm, text RSVP for address if you can make it.
All a parent has to do is text a 'yes Fred will be there!' Host then simply replies 'brilliant, party is at x venue, y Street '

It's no more difficult than texting in reply to a standard RSVP yet gives an almost absolute certainty on numbers.

SistersOfPercy · 07/06/2016 23:48

*if you send.

Bloody phone

FurryDogMother · 08/06/2016 00:05

SistersOfPercy that's brilliant! :D

Original poster

Cluesue · 08/06/2016 00:06

Well sisterofpercy,I think your idea is brilliant and will be sharing it with all the considerate parents who bothered to rsvp

OP posts:

Nocabbageinmyeye · 08/06/2016 00:12

Ah ok sisterofmercy when you said party details and address I thought it would be like "you are invited to Johnnys party, rsvp for details", so thought no date/time (party details) and no venue (address), so thought "how can you rsvp to something when you don't know if you can make because you don't know the details" and felt it was a bit cloak and dagger. But really it's all the details bar the venue which is very different

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 08/06/2016 00:15

Arranging kids parties turns me into a gibbering wreck for this reason. The fear that not enough people will turn up. Chasing rsvps. Ugh.

We're quite lucky, people seem to be quite into rsvp'ing here - I only had to chase up a couple for the last party we did.

But yanbu, I always rsvp except for one terrible time when I forgot, and apologised profusely to the mum

kali110 · 08/06/2016 00:22

Don't pay for any that just show up that haven't rsvp.
If the parents don't rsvp then it's not your responsibility.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 08/06/2016 00:31

You're having it at a venue - easy solved! You give the venue the list of children you've booked & paid for and if they're not on it, then they clearly need to pay for themselves.

People are so rude. I'd never take a child to a party we hadn't rsvp'd to, let alone siblings.

StopLookingAtMyAccount · 08/06/2016 00:47

If you make the nonRSVP'ers who turn up pay then you will be doing everyone in the class a favour as it will help 'teach' them polite party manners for the future. If you pay for them then they will carry on.

VioletBam · 08/06/2016 00:55

Only on MN would people suggest making non RSVPrs pay! What a silly suggestion and anyone who actually DID it would be ostracised.

Of course it's very rude not to RSVP but there's no need to stoop.

MrsSpecter · 08/06/2016 00:55

RSVP for party details and address

How can people know whether they can go if they dont know when or where it is?

VioletBam · 08/06/2016 00:58

MrsSpecter I agree.

MrsSpecter · 08/06/2016 00:58

Never mind, I read on.

MrsSpecter · 08/06/2016 01:02

Btw you know what happens when you do the rsvp for address thing? The rest of the parents text each other saying "is your Dc going? We dont know if we can, whats the address?"

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 12 13