Random woman paid for customers coffee

[TheoriginalLEM]

A gentleman came into the cafe and ordered a latte. He was a bit doddery and scruffy and was counting his money from money bags (checking he had enough i think). another customer paid for his coffee when she settled her bill for no reason.

AIBU to think this was patronising and embarrassing for the man? Maybe he just doesnt carry much cash but is perfectly able to pay for his own coffee

sorry lurking - i was genuinely worried it would have embarrased him. i suffer from anxiety and have been worried ever sonce

My Dad had quite a bit of money but was tight as a gnat's chuff so went round looking like Old Man Steptoe. He never had a wallet, just a cut-down envelope - a throwback I think from the days when he got paid in cash, a proper "pay packet" and that envelope acted as his wallet for the week until his next one.

Despite his legendary tight-fistedness he was very determined "not to ponce off anyone" [his words] and I think he might have been uncomfortable if a stranger bought his coffee for him.

It was a nice thing for the lady to do though. I do think people tend to over-think, and nice gestures end up not being made because of "well what if they think x, y or z."

No LEM, you did a good thing. Suspended coffees or other random acts of kindness should be an everyday thing, so go you!

Apart from the reverse thing, which are slightly trying.

Come on OP, you've been around long enough to know reverse threads are not well received

Sorry LEM didn't see your update.

It was a nice thing for you to do

Oh! I type so very slowly I'd totally missed that this was a reverse! I'm the queen of cross posting...

Bless you LEM

Lem

That was a lovely thing to do. I've done it myself

I'm glad it was a reverse, I know you as a respected & old time poster & I was a bit hmmmmmm about this & thought the heat had got to you :)

The other day, I ordered a drink and a mars bar for my DS at a sports club that we were visiting only to realise I had no money and the bar didn't take cards. A man at the bar with his friend overheard me apologising to the barman and giving it back and insisted on buying it for my DS. I refused graciously a couple of times before letting him pay and thanking him profusely. It was a kind and friendly thing to do and quite frankly, I was grateful not patronised.

heat?? what heat?we have thunder and lightning

It was a lovely thing to do. Now stop worrying

Really? I'm dying in tropical heat in the Midlands, I long for a bit of thunder to clear the air!

Knowing your posts in the past I was a bit LEM! No, it was a nice thing to do

I must admit I got a bit flustered when someone did this to me - and found it a bit embarrassing. Didn't think any worse of the person offering though, thought it was an odd thing to do, but I had plenty of pennies and felt guilty about accepting.

I ended up putting what I would have spent in the tip jar.

All helpful urges should be circumvented apparently...

X post. Obviously that was my experience. So, you may have been seen to be nice. Or he may have seen it as nice. Or you may have reminded a man who you describe as "scruffy" and "doddery" (nice!) that in other people eyes he is now so old and disabled that he can't even pay for his own coffee.

I fucking hate reverse threads.

Thank you for doing that Iknownuffink - perhaps it was you who smiled at me the day I was suffering severe depression and had decided that there was nothing to live for - I was on my way to buy razors and pills from Boots. A lovely lady smiled at me and said said "have a lovely evening". Somehow she got through to me and I bought bubble bath and foot cream instead

What a strange thing to post about.

Do you need a or a OP?

Suspended coffee! That's the phrase I've been sitting here trying to remember. Thanks Liney and Palmer.

bears did patronizing fucker lady also say 'you're SO BRAVE' with a head tilt?!

I'm apparently Very Brave for eating in MacDonalds with my son. Brave I tell you BRAVE... Not a good slob who should know better :)

Godammit actually Bear, you're So Brave for being on Mumsnet, so terribly, terribly brave. Well Done.

Oh sorry I forgot to add, definitely nice to pay for a coffee OP :)

I reserve my ire for actual patronizing fuckers, not nice people spreading a bit of niceness around!

YANBU I think it's disgusting behaviour.

**

Was this you OP?