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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD is 10 years old and wants to go into town wearing make-up - aibu?

177 replies

Evelynne · 04/06/2016 14:28

I have been kind of railroaded into allowing DD (10) into town with her two friends. We live in a city.

The mother of one of the girls approached me in front of both girls and asked whether DD could meet them in town this weekend. I didn't want to embarrass DD so I said I would think about it.

The mother then asked whether DD could go on a 4 hour shopping trip with the girls. I was unhappy with this and said I'd be ok with an hour, providing DD had a mobile and I was in town too....

DD has just told me that the girls wear make-up into town (DD doesn't make things like this up) and I am really regretting saying it's ok. I don't want my 10 year old alone in town with other 10 year olds wearing make up, it just makes me feel uncomfortable. I wouldn't be bothered if they were 13/14 but I do feel 10 is too young.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TheSparrowhawk · 04/06/2016 18:31

No I'm not being deliberately obtuse. What is it about make up that makes it unsuitable for a child? That it'll damage her skin or something?

FeckinCrutches · 04/06/2016 18:36

So you would be quite happy with your child wearing make up? That's totally up to you, but it's generally a more 'teen/adult' thing to do. I don't know any children who wear make up and I've got three girls myself.

TheSparrowhawk · 04/06/2016 18:40

Yes I'd be fine with both of my children wearing make up as long as it didn't damage their skin. You were saying it wasn't suitable - I was curious as to what's 'unsuitable' about it.

MadameDePomPom · 04/06/2016 18:42

I think it's depressing to see a 10 year old child wearing foundation, mascara etc outside of a play/dressing up scenario. Plenty of time for that when they're teens and grown ups.

FeckinCrutches · 04/06/2016 18:44

Because there is plenty of time to be doing more grown up stuff.

Birdsgottafly · 04/06/2016 18:44

Tbh, ten year olds are generally 'safer' than teens because they are so young.

It's an age that they should be given starting to have a level of independent travelling.

Whereas teens are 'fair game' for anyone that is predatory, including their own age group, or is looking for trouble/has a general attitude against teens.

If ten year olds are in any trouble, people are more lively to step in.

It depends on what makeup they want to wear and how long they spend on it. It should still be fun and in no way serious.

NickiFury · 04/06/2016 18:46

My 10 year old wouldn't be wearing make up or going into town alone so that's a no all round from me.

MimiLeBonk · 04/06/2016 19:01

I think it really depends on where you live. Here she'd be fine, other places I wouldn't be so comfortable. But I live in a place where most people know everyone else.

Mycatsabastard · 04/06/2016 19:15

thesparrowhawk

Not necessarily. I'm just speaking from experience of seeing the kids who at 10 were allowed to wear make up and high heels who are now 17/18 and have tattoos and were out drinking aged 15 and are generally still trying to be 'first' and the 'cool kid' even though most of their peers don't care anymore.

I don't think 10 year olds should be wearing make up. They are kids ffs. My oldest has beautiful skin precisely because she wasn't allowed to plaster her face in crap from a young age.

TheSparrowhawk · 04/06/2016 19:26

I don't really wear make up much myself, I have no interest in it, but as far as I'm concerned it's just putting colour on your face, I don't see how it's any more 'grown up' than putting face paints on. Mycats - do you avoid make up due to the damage it does to skin?

Original poster
Evelynne · 04/06/2016 19:34

Mycatsabastard- I agree with you. I was always one of the 'first' to do things. I had a bit of a wild streak and it certainly did get me into all sorts of trouble as a young teen.

Perhaps this is why I'm so cautious with DD. I really don't want her going down the same path I did for a while.

OP posts:
FeckinCrutches · 04/06/2016 19:38

it's nothing like having face paints on, and more to do with over sexualization of children.

Original poster
Evelynne · 04/06/2016 19:39

I think makeup is generally used to make yourself 'prettier' by enhancing your features. I don't think kids should really be worrying about their looks and trying to make themselves look prettier at the age of ten. It's a bit depressing.

I can see the appeal and I don't see a problem at home for a bit of fun or to the school disco with other kids. But the whole idea of trying to look prettier or older when out and about in the wide world is a bit depressing.

OP posts:
TheSparrowhawk · 04/06/2016 19:39

Sexualisation of children? How does putting colour on a child's face sexualise her or him?

MadameDePomPom · 04/06/2016 19:46

It's just so 'ick'

DD is 10 years old and wants to go into town wearing make-up - aibu?
FeckinCrutches · 04/06/2016 19:48

It's not 'colour' don't make it sound like they are having they're face painted, it's make up, which is an adult thing. 10yo girls should not be worrying about their appearance and wanting to wear make up to fit in.

SoupDragon · 04/06/2016 19:51

How does putting colour on a child's face sexualise her or him?

By making them look older than they are. Also' make up is generally used to make a person look more attractive.

Original poster
Evelynne · 04/06/2016 19:51

Big difference between the two imo....

OP posts:
RB68 · 04/06/2016 19:55

I don't see a problem with makeup provided its suitable for the age she is in public - she messes about with it more at home but she will be in secondary school in Sept. I do think the teen stuff kicks in earlier these days with u tube exposure and vloggers etc but I also wouldn't do town on their own for 4 hrs - I would be in town with them and whilst allowing to go on their own to look at shops etc would be close by either in same shop of nearby one that they knew where I was etc.

SoupDragon · 04/06/2016 19:56

I don't see how it's any more 'grown up' than putting face paints on.

PMSL. Seriously?? You can't see the difference between wearing make up that is used by teens/adults to look more attractive and being painted to look like a tiger?

AngieBolen · 04/06/2016 20:02

I live in a large market town and my DSs both started going into town with firends at this point in Y6. Obviously they didn't wear make up, though!

DD is young in her year, so still 10 and I have previously said she can't go into town with her friends, but accept that end of Y6 is when it would be "normal" to do so. Without makeup, though. Nothing more than lip gloss happening around here in Y6, and I would put my foot down about it.

harshbuttrue1980 · 04/06/2016 20:45

About the makeup, what are her friends allowed to wear? I wouldn't want her to be significantly different to her friends. If she has bad skin, then a little bit of tinted moisturiser would be fine, and maybe some clear lipgloss and clear mascara.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 04/06/2016 20:48

Pip - yes, quite Hmm

timelytess · 04/06/2016 20:51

No make up. Do not advertise anything you are not yet entitled to put on offer.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 04/06/2016 21:00

Time- there's so many things wrong with your post i don't know where to start Hmm

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