You AIBU Lot!!

[Moxxygirl]

I must admit as an older mom with grown up kids, I love reading the AIBU posts!!
Thank God my kids were raised 30+ years ago, when us moms were not so navel watching, agonising, worrying about their food, school progress, friendships.
WE were the adults - WE made the rules ( without a huge amount of negotiation !) and our kids ran free, didn't worry about pouting on FB, and had a brilliant childhood.
We used to go to the neighbours for a drink and wire the baby alarm through the window so we could here if one of them cried.
We went to holiday camps and left them in the chalets with a babysitting service that flew past on a bike listening for crying babies and flawed it up in the car if one was crying in your chalet.
Nowadays I'm sure SS would have taken them all off us.
And yes they grew up to all hold very responsible jobs in Police and Education.
I actually feel a bit sorry for you moms nowadays.
Your thoughts??

To paraphrase the OP -

'Wow, I find it so entertaining to read about what shit parents you all are! Back in my day we did everything right, not like you losers.
Ahhhhh it's lovely being smug. I feel so sorry for all you loving failures.'

And you wonder why you've not had positive responses?

I always remember those bits in Anne of Green Gables where Anne has been reading the parenting manuals and worries about getting things wrong with her baby? And pretty much the same scenario is then repeated with her daughter Rilla and her war baby. When was Montgomery writing? Late 1910's/early 1920's wasn't it? But the OP is clearly from an earlier, more natural era. OP, I salute your age and wisdom. Being only in my 50s myself, I find it hard to relate to this primitive age of innocence and insouciance.

This is the ultimate in ridiculous AIBUs. Insulting a whole generation of parents. Go you!

Moxxy I'll ask you again, have you never heard of Madeline McCann? If you have, can you really not see how a case like that automatically affects parents' choices with regard to their children? I'll bet the number of parents who did as you did dropped like a stone after that.

I will repeat, whatever you say, leaving kids was not the 'common thing to do'. It may have been common in certain circles, but not the circles my family (all ages) moved in, my friends families, nor, in fact, anyone else I know. Neglect of children is still rife, usually in certain circles still, this doesn't make it common, nor does it make it acceptable.

fwiw I did have fun growing up in the 60s. My own dc have in many ways had a harder life than me, more of a struggle with ill health and family difficulties, less money- but I don't think they have had less fun. And I am a far calmer parent than my mother was, and a much more confident person.

WellErr - you are so wrong, I don't think you are shite parents , I just feel that some of the AIBU have gone too far in worrying about what you are doing right or wrong.

rose tinted glasses

I think EverySongbird has a good answer for what you read on the thread you're referring to.

A big difference between now and the 70s is the rise of spaces that are both child and adult friendly. And an increased availability of paid-for childcare.

A lot of what you describe in your OP, parents don't have to do any more, so they don't.

Really, read EverySongbird's post. It's eminently sensible.

And there will have been parents back then who had the worries you'd consider similarly trivial. But there wasn't a place to express those anonymously then either. Worrying about how you parent isn't a modern concept.

I'm probably the same age as your children.

My parents did all the things you describe plus much more 'wonderfully' carefree and non-naval watching things of that time. It was shit. We were tacked on to their life, not a part of it.

Nowadays I'm sure SS would have taken them all off us

Doesn't your own statement tell you anything, OP?

And, moxxygirl, you also have to take AIBU with a large pinch of salt. It's a mixture of good sense, outrage, heightened emotion, idealism, fantasy, aggression and boredom.

(And you should, really, have replied on the thread in question.)

Moxxygirl, I am sure there were parents worrying in your day. I remember my DM sobbing with insecurity after clashing with her MIL about childrearing in the 60s and 70s. My MIL was on antidepressants for years in the late 50s/early 60s. My grandmother was a far more paranoid parent than anything our family has managed to produce since. My friend's parents were far more overprotective than any of my children's friends' parents.The only difference was that they had nowhere to come for support. This website otoh attracts people who are struggling.

Reread your OP moxxygirl.

cory, there is plenty of worrying about how to parent in the Anne of Green Gables series - Marilla and Rachel Lynde discuss the merits of corporal punishment (Marilla is aghast at the prospect), Anne reads books about speech and language development in babies and Rilla follows the book to the letter! The children have plenty of freedom but Gilbert is always being called out to attend to babies who have had a pot of scalding water tipped over them or similar so it is not entirely a utopia of Liberty!

And yes they grew up to all hold very responsible jobs in Police and Education.

So they found their vocation in bossing people about and telling people younger than them what to do.

Wonder why they chose those paths?

GF

Awww cheers japan cat

I read cory's post as making that same point, LaserShark.

@ EverySongBird

thecat, yes i was agreeing with her and giving more examples. Just sharing the Anne appreciation!

Can see how it reads as though I'm contradicting her now I re-read it actually! Oops.

They were fascinating examples. Made me want to re-read the books.