My mother cannot visit us without bringing toys, clothes and/or food. My OD is 4 1/2 and my YD has just turned 2. She always has toys - substantial ones like Barbie dolls as well as cheap tat, fancy dresses or socks or underwear, and really random food like packs of croissants, biscuits, chocolate, fruit, even meat.
She has been doing this for years and I have tried every approach to ask her to stop, or at least ask me first. The worst thing is, she will show my girls whatever she has brought, then say "ask mummy if you can have this", therefore making me the bad guy if I say no, especially if it's sweets or a toy.
She even leaves things around the house for us to find, e.g. There was a random minion figure (really small, as if from a kinder egg) by the bed in the spare room. She regularly sneaks food into the fridge, which I find days after she's been and it either goes to waste, or forces me to waste other food I already had. One time she hung a very tacky plastic bath toy bag over the side of my bathtub. The other week she left a few of those food saver clips into my kitchen drawer (I have loads and loads already).
It is beyond frustrating and I have explained that it's unacceptable for a number of reasons, including: we don't have room for all the stuff she brings, the house is filling up with crap, DDs have got to a point where they expect something when people walk through the door, which I can't stand, it forces me to be the bad guy, it disrespects me as a parent as she's goes directly against my wishes. I feel that she does it to be liked, but it obviously pisses me off so I don't understand why she does it.
She comes to visit every week, so it's a real problem.
AIBU? Should I just shut up and accept, or am I right to stand my ground and continue to object? I am absolutely incapable of keeping a poker face or lying, even if it's to be nice. So the former would be a challenge...