AIBU to think sort out your own childcare!

[FrankWelker]

Half- term and I am using annual leave to look after DC. So far this week I have had 5 phone calls from 2 different parents who ( unfortunately) know I'm off to see if I can have their kids from 7.30-6.40 pm. I'm perfectly happy to help out in an emergency but both parents have said they forgot it was half term. The same ones who forgot the Easter holidays were for 3 weeks. As I said I will always try and help if someone is in a tight spot but am I being unreasonable with this? I don't particularly want to wake up for 7.30 am on my time off and when I do would rather do play dates with kids who my children want to see- and these kids aren't even my kids ages that
they can play easily. We get the school term dates well in advance! Does anyone else get this (and get hacked off like me!)

at 06:15 I will always answer the phone with "who died is everyone ok?"

Every time.
TBH, if you wake me up then that's what you get.

"Can you look after my kids?"
"It's 06:15"
"Yeah, sorry but we have no childcare"
"Sucks to be you. Amazing how school holidays are sprung on us with no advanced warning"
"Can you help?"
"Nope. Call me at this hour again and I'll block your number"

And then I may also have made a voodoo doll of said parent and pricked it with many pins.

Stupid stupid woman.

I hate piss-takers like this.

My own council has the school term dates on the website and I know when all the holidays are until 2018/2019, with the exception of a couple of teacher days, but we'll still know about those in plenty of time.

There's no excuse for "forgetting".

*My sister does this every holiday. I'm a SAHM (with four kids, so not like I'm having a relaxing week myself or have spades of time on my hands).
My mum text yesterday to say 'I've got child today and tomorrow, you've got her Thursday and Friday, right?'. I had no idea I had her Thursday and Friday, haven't been asked, but my sister and partner have obviously decided she's coming here.

It's not even that they forget, they just won't take time off because they know me and mum are at home.*

This gives me the major rage for you. Please don't let them take the piss out of you.

Reminds me of a P1 induction evening for my dc2 a couple of weeks before the end of the summer term before they started. The breakfast/after school said they had a couple of spaces left after school on two evenings which was amazing as they never normally have any spaces. This led to panic in several sets of parents who had just assumed they could turn up to breakfast/after school club in the autumn and register their kids then.

By his is ridiculous. Who forgets when half term is? I work full time and have all the school holiday cover planned a year in advance!

When v wealthy neighbour asked me again to look after her kids (for free), I excitedly said "yes! That'd be great! It'll have to be at your house though".

When she returned 9 hours later.

Huge cushion and blanket fort in lounge, leftover lunch on plates in kitchen and adorable photo of my and her kids eating (dry) cereal and watching DVDs in her bed.

I said "that was fun, we'll do that again!"
Not heard from her since

She's very lucky, Kris, I'd have told her no.

Asshole tax dead right - I recommend a minimum £100!

At 0615 if it wasn't family I wouldn't have answered! If it was an unknown no I'd have answered as hospital comes up unknown - then she'd have heard 'WTF is wrong with you?! Fuck off!'

Neon PLEASE stand up for yourself they are royally taking the piss!

As an ex cm and nanny this does not surprise me. Lost count of the 'friends' nodding acquaintances who not only asked but even ASSUMED I would take their kids during holidays. As a cm there are ratios regs anyway. Also parents I was employed by (but not usually all week) who assumed I'd just do extra in holidays for free!

Definitely phone her 0615 next sun/ bank holiday - just for a 'chat'

And yes 'forgot' my arse!

Online, newsletters, kids excitedly looking forward to... Bullshit!

Janecc I must have missed the end. I thought it was just a very thick-skinned mother.

Kris5 Something about the way you wrote your post makes me wonder if it was deliberate

A ploy to ensure you never get asked again?

Of course it was deliberate.
She didn't like anyone in her house not even her kids!
Her house was always perfect and whenever she (eventually) collected her dc from mine she'd make some comment about how do I cope with the mess they make. I just had enough. She arrived home ten minutes after receiving the photo.

She even left a note on the fridge saying don't eat food as needed for dinner! What were her kids going to ea? The note somehow fell off.
We did make mess but nothing got broken - I'm petty not vindictive.

I'm petty not vindictive

You can see it coming, they start being more friendly, start offering to have yours and insist so you can just treat yourself to some 'me time' just in time for the holidays to seek a favour which is much bigger,covering the whole day plus some time to catch up on shopping or hair appointment. Once bitten you spot the signs very quickly. Also love the ones who claim their LO loves playing with your LO, like you never talk to your LO!

You are a petty, not vindictive, evil genius Kris5 and I have a girl crush on you

This happened to me, and it was very upsetting actually. Very dysfunctional family moved in across the road, their son was the same age as my son, and he was a sweetheart, but his life was so chaotic and the worst thing that ever happened was his mother getting my phone number. I'm not even sure how, think it might have been a PTA directory. The kids here get the bus home (overseas) and he would turn up 5 mins after drop off crying because no-one was at home. He was only 7/8 poor kid and obviously had some crazy abandoment issues. Obviously I would take him in. But it was the fucking nerve of her, she didn't know me, had never been inside my house and she would call and call, saying "we're on the way home, can you just look after him for a bit?" AKA hour or two later. Which I couldn't do as we would often being heading straight back out again to do karate or whatever. I told her that, I read the riot act, I spoke to her MIL, nothing changed. They since split up and he's ended up who knows where, I hope he's managed to find a more settled existence somewhere else. Doubt it though, she also used to drag him to doctor's all the time for made up symptoms

It takes a village .... (idiot). This sort are very fond of that Clinton ? quote. What it really means is the rest of us are supposed to be their mugs for free childcare and only to be reciprocated at their leisure/convenience.

Think you missed my point Expat. Yes I do say no, or (in consultation with nanny) suggest they pay her for her time and care. They're always completely taken aback that I think if nanny kindly agrees to look after their kids they should pay her ON TOP of what I pay her to look after mine. Completely disrespectful IMO.

And in the holidays I'd just say NO.

There's also often a bit of tutting when I say, I'll have to ask XXX (nanny). Like I'm indulging my servant by not just agreeing without asking that she can look after six kids instead of three

And I know I should just say, ask XXX (nanny), but she is so nice she'd be babysitting half the bloody school for free.

They're tutting because they can't actually believe that you are taking her into consideration when their needs (wants,demands) are obviously so much more pressing. Don't you know they would have to pay substantially more for care otherwise?

Er, yes, that's my point.

What does yanbu, sahm and aibu mean? New to mumsnet and confused?.

You are Not Bring Unreasonable
Stay at Home Mother
Am I Being Unreasonable
HTH

I've spent the last 7 years as a SAHM, at home, every holiday, non-smoker, don't drink, actually offer to help if friends are complaining about childcare problems. Not once has anyone asked if I can help out. I can't decide if this is a very good or a very bad thing. I suspect it doesn't reflect well on me.

Argh, being not bring!