AIBU to think sort out your own childcare!

[FrankWelker]

Half- term and I am using annual leave to look after DC. So far this week I have had 5 phone calls from 2 different parents who ( unfortunately) know I'm off to see if I can have their kids from 7.30-6.40 pm. I'm perfectly happy to help out in an emergency but both parents have said they forgot it was half term. The same ones who forgot the Easter holidays were for 3 weeks. As I said I will always try and help if someone is in a tight spot but am I being unreasonable with this? I don't particularly want to wake up for 7.30 am on my time off and when I do would rather do play dates with kids who my children want to see- and these kids aren't even my kids ages that
they can play easily. We get the school term dates well in advance! Does anyone else get this (and get hacked off like me!)

I'm a sahm and have several 'friends' who will literally show up with their kids (also nearly as bad, calling to 'ask' if I can do the emergency childcare and then saying 'oh good because I'm outside your house!) I have started saying no as I'm 28 weeks pregnant and want to spend quality time with DS by himself before DD arrives. Since I've started saying no I've lost these so called friends. Thank god!

It amazes me.
Don't parents realise they need to sort childcare once their child starts school??
My sil wants to go ft (she is pt now) when my dn starts school in August.
I asked her what she was planning to do for the 14 weeks school holidays per year.
She just gave me a blank look (I work term time only)
I wonder if I'm supposed to be having her!?
Ha hahahahahahahaha

'I wonder if I'm supposed to be having her!?
Ha hahahahahahahaha'

I'd make it very clear to her that you are not a childminder.

Oh don't worry expat....I will!
😀

It can be a pain covering school holidays when both parents re working but welcome to the real world! Who the fuck to these cheeky fuckers think they are for fuck's sake?

We managed with a combination of the school holiday club, each taking off different weeks, having a family holiday & using grandparents. This is normal, right?

*do they think not to they think

My response would probably be:
'YEP, I charge £10 per hour rounded up to the next hour. I expect cash on collection of children or no deal'
They won't take you up on that offer!

My ex wanted 50/50 with our kids but his childcare plan was you'll have to have em ..... oh how I chuckled

YANBU. I was a SAHM and was constantly amazed at some people's perception of their time being therefore more valuable than mine.

It's easy to ignore a hint, isn't it?

Yikes! I'm surprised anyone would be as brash as to even ask, YADNBU to tell them where to go.

I'm heavily pregnant and have a few parents down as emergency contact/to look after DC if I go into labour in the night and the thought of imposing on someone like that is bringing me out in cold sweats, I can't imagine asking someone to have DC because I couldn't be bothered to arrange childcare.

"
Today 11:10boopsy

You need to be registered with ofstead to look after children at your house for over 2 hours. Good reason (among many) to say no!"
That is simply not true!

A friend, who has moved away now, told me this story once. Years before, her mum and a friend had agreed that whichever one of them got a job first would pay the other to look after all the children. I think she thought I would agree to such a scheme. There's no way in hell, as work is far easier.

The poster who talked about parents "grooming" SAHMs reminded me of a few students I knew at university years ago who lived in off-campus accommodation and deliberately befriended people with cars. Users.

I've never had the OP's problem even though I always take 6 weeks off in July - Aug and 2 at Easter, and have done for years. However, there were always a few "loose-end kids" around here aged 12-13....too old for most holiday clubs, but they got bored alone at home and ended up at friends' houses all day, eating the food and inadvertently making the parent who was at home feel awkward about going out and having to ask them to bugger off. I suppose at the back of your mind there would always be the fear of "something happening" to them after they'd left.

The mother of a friend of DD used to get very indignant about the fact that the school objected to her turning up late routinely to collect her daughter. Her view was that the staff were just messing around sorting out the classroom and they could perfectly easily keep an eye on her daughter.

There was a thread on here where a MNer was doing just that. She couldn't see the problem

No way, I've asked very close friends if they can have the kids for a few hours if I have to go in for a meeting, and I always reciprocate when I can (and this has worked very well between 4 of us for a number of years) but I'd never ask someone to look after my kids for that long without paying them, especially not at short notice. I wouldn't have the nerve to ask that of somebody. YANBU!

Sounds like you wouldn't ever need a similar favour from them, or that they'd be organised enough to be in a position to return the favour even if you did. If you're not comfortable saying 'no', just say you've got plans and can't change them now.

newbrummie, what did happen with the DC in the end??

Every bloody INSET day some other parent (including a couple of regular offenders) texts me to ask if their kids can come over for a play date, ie. will our nanny look after their children as well as my three because they CBA to organise anything. Nanny is after-school only so I have to arrange all-day care in advance - I do this by referring to the calendar on the school website, which apparently cannot be seen by other parents
Neither nanny nor I object to helping out in an emergency but 1) they are effectively asking me to create more work for her, which 2) they have been notably reluctant to pay for when I've suggested they might, and 3) nanny usually has a treat planned for our kids, who she has looked after since they were tiny and says she looks forward to spending the time with.

Primalass that's the one that turned out to be a reverse though wasn't it?

Oh mine, and I thought I was the only one having to deal with not common sense parents who last year thought I couldn't get a job and go to college because I wouldn't be avaliable to hold play dates at my house! They went to extremes to tell me that I was neglecting my kids, one come asking for me do s Halloween party at my garden ( was pouring rain all week) because she already made punch! ( she was asking for play dates like was for her and not for the kids) I since had to stop saying hello to them and look to another way as they only see me to take advantage! Cut all ties with those soon as u can!

Don't parents realise they need to sort childcare once their child starts school?? An astonishing number don't seem to register that they'll be off school for 12 (entirely predictable, dates published in advance) weeks a year plus inset and polling days. People often ask why we still have a nanny rather than an au pair or whatever - that's why!

Amazing cheek 6.15 aaagh!

'Neither nanny nor I object to helping out in an emergency but 1) they are effectively asking me to create more work for her, which 2) they have been notably reluctant to pay for when I've suggested they might, and 3) nanny usually has a treat planned for our kids, who she has looked after since they were tiny and says she looks forward to spending the time with.

Why do you allow them to take the piss out of you and your employee, then? Do you tell them, 'NO'?