AIBU to pull out from this nightmare camping trip?

[SparkleSoiree]

So, camping is not, has never been and, now I can say, will never be my thing.

People love it, I get that. Kids and husbands I think mostly...I DONT GET IT.

We are booked to go camping with DH's cousin and his family in August. I'm more of a city break, lovely hotel person myself but DH and DD were really keen to go relive his scouting days and not wanting to be a party pooper I decided to throw myself in there too to show willing and that basically I can do anything I put my mind to. Turns out I'm more of a panderedto woman than superwoman!

We did a trial on the weekend in the garden with the new tent and kit DH bought. Seriously, it was like watching him unwrap his presents on christmas morning. His face was constantly smiling, sharing his joy with DD who loved it just as much. I offered some help occasionally but could not get into the spirit of it at all. He even put up little fairy lights around the rope thingies to add a little bit of glam for me .

It was a disaster for me, I got the total of 1hr 5 mins kip between 11pm and 8am, was in a seriously bad mood in the morning and did not see the fun side of it at all. Seven nights I've booked myself in for and if I had to spend 7 consecutive nights with minimal sleep I'd be driving myself home by the end of day 2! I cannot function without my sleep, I get really grumpy and moody and a desire to be on my own. I certainly couldn't think about a day trip out after spending 10 mins trying to get up off a bloody airbed and that's before I've even thought about getting dressed!

I'm considering options, one of which is not going at all and allowing DH to spend the week with his family and DD. Upside is that I would get a week to myself as my other DD is away abroad at the same time.

Another is to check into a hotel close by and swing in by each morning with some lovely breakfast items for them all and spend the day with them. Upside is there will be a lovely bathroom in the hotel, just for me, a cosy bed, a bar under cover and I won't have to make my bed in the morning because some lovely person will do it for me. More my idea of relaxation.

Other option is to borrow our friend's caravan (she has offered it in my hour of need!) and add a caravan pitch to our booking. That way we have a tent and a caravan. I could cope with a caravan - I think.

Out of those I think I prefer the first one, so AIBU to pull out and spend a week on my own doing my own thing and forgetting I'm a 44yr old mum of 3, wife to 1 and taxi driver to all?

Op - the caravan sounds like the best compromise.

We have a touring caravan and have had for years, whilst it is not a hotel (Which I do love!!) it has been ideal for family holidays. Most importantly, the beds are not on the ground (ours make a huge bed across front of van) and it has an inside toilet.

DH & kids also like camping - we have done it a few times, when not worth taking van for a night or 2. I hate it, I never sleep and am always cold - at 53 I would gladly never sleep in a tent again.

I think you should make the effort for the sake of your DD and DH. Your DH sounds lovely.
You sound determined not to enjoy it though. . However if you decide not to do the camping thing, I think you should stay at home rather than check in to a hotel. I think that makes you sound really precious, and to be honest if i was your dD and DH, i would be a bit embarrassed.

OP I go camping about four times a year , as me and my DH and DS do Live action role-play (larp). I'm really not to keen on camping but fount this bed last year, I'm not exaggerating. It's magic!!!!

m.cotswoldoutdoor.com/mountain-equipment-glacier-5-0-sleeping-mat-d2322155?id_colour=105

This is not the actual bed, as I can't remember the brand. but go to your local Decathalon if you have one and try out there mats. the one I got cost me about £50 for a single and in my 12 years of camping/larping I slept through an entire night on this Matt.

Tbh it's not my idea of fun, especially in the unpredictable British weather. Let dh go with DD and enjoy time by yourself.

We went camping last year and it was so awful we nearly divorced(really, not being facetious)
We had the big, fancy, million-man size tent and a caravan and it was still hell on earth. Nothing on site for the kids to do so pestered us for entertainment, cold, damp, horrible toilet block.
could hear other campers snoring, arguing, babies crying all night long. I'm a very light sleeper and lasted 1 night in the tent, even wind in the trees kept me awake.
We would go out for day trips everyday and everyday I would dread going back to camp, holding back tears type dread.
I am chronically ill too and i endured 7 nights!😭😭😭

Never again!

I'm with you OP, can't stand camping. Stay at home and enjoy a blissful week!

Hating camping is not princessy.

Checking into a hotel next to the campsite is, a bit!

Have the week at home, OP. If you can join them for a day trip or two that would be great.

But be very careful how you explain it to your dd- please don't let her get the impression that it's because you're a woman you don't do "roughing it"......

I used to camp with girl guides, and then in Uni with a group of scouts and guides (well, mostly ex-scouts and ex-guides) where alcohol was involved. THen I had a gap of 17 years before agreeing to go with Cub Scouts last year.

Decent bedding made a HUGE difference. I used to kinda just about sleep and survive in the past. But now I've realized that bedding is hugely important, and staying warm, to sleep.

I've actually been brave enough that, instead of continuing to borrow another leader's spare tent, I bought my own this year. And a decent SIM (I'm going to add DD's sim to my bed for the 2nd trip, as she hated it and wants a textured foam pad again instead - like she borrowed from a cousin last year), and a 4 season sleeping bag. Plenty of blankets (for insulation from ground below and keeping warmth in on top), and a proper pillow. I also take a hot water bottle (but don't let the Cubs see that!).

Even though our first trip this year involved getting up in the middle of the night on BOTH nights for problems with different Cubs, I actually did sleep reasonably well. And as well as the 2nd Cub camp coming up this month, I am planning a 2 night trip with DD in August as well (DH is like you - he announced, the week AFTER I bought a tent big enough for us all, that he doesn't do less than 3* anymore!! He last went camping on the trip 18 years ago with me!). Oh well, DD and I will have fun!!

I cannot function without my sleep, I get really grumpy and moody and a desire to be on my own

It's this kind of comment that makes me think that you might be the teensiest bit precious, OP. No one likes to go without 'their sleep.' It makes most people feel crap, but most people get on with it so they don't wreck the day for the people they happen to be around. It sounds as though you indulge it a bit and it's your 'thing'.

I'm not a keen camper, but I could do two or three nights in a decent place if it made my family happy. It's not the worse thing in the world, despite the drama comments on this thread. I'm not sure I subscribe to the 'only do what you want, whenever you want and sod everyone else' line of thought. I think family life is nicer when people muck in a bit and make a bit of effort for each other in this kind of situation.

Firstwetakemanhattan these sort of uneducated comments really are infuriating. I have chronic fatigue syndrome (ME). If I don't sleep, I don't function. I literally run out on energy, unable to walk, talk or even move - my body focuses on keeping me alive - on the autonomic system. You and all the other people, who can just miss out on sleep and just get on with it are really lucky and have strong bodies. I'm not being princessy and I don't think op is either. I was never physically hardy even before I became very ill and even in my 20's, I struggled to camp a couple of nights because of the stress it put on my body.

Bully for you First. The OP doesn't want to go camping - accusing people of being "precious" and using words like "drama" suggests you have a problem accepting that not everyone is like you.

I subscribe to the approach that I don't want anyone in my family to be miserable doing something I want to do, so I'm happy to compromise. Perhaps you should try that sometime.

But What's wrong with having some time apart in a family? Your DH and Friday's can have a fabulous time camping while you chill out elsewhere. I've never got into the spend one's spare time bw being miserable when I don't have too.

Friday's? I meant Dd!

Everyone's doing their thing except me it would seem and I'm not sure I feel comfortable with going along to keep others happy when I see it written down in this way.

💡💡💡 moment, eh?

Manhattan - I used to think like you too: 'everyone gets tired, why do some people whine on about it?' (just to clarify, I would never have thought this in a situation like janecc's: I would, I hope, always have been sympathetic here). I think I was actually pretty nasty about it to a former boyfriend (who I lived with); I thought he was annoyingly 'precious' about his sleep. As I've got a bit older and, to be honest, become a more empathetic and less judgemental person in general (sure I'm not all the way there yet, though!) I've come to realise that it really is different for different people. I'm genuinely fine on 6 hours sleep, perfectly functional on 4. I used to see this as some sort of moral achievement on my part. Now I recognise I'm just lucky. It's a bit like my friend who thinks that 'period pain isn't that bad' and that people who complain or have days off are just moaners: no, your period pain isn't that bad. Mine is. Similarly, just because I can cope on disturbed sleep doesn't mean everyone else should have to.

janecc I'm sorry that you have ME, truly. I know two people with and I know how it affects life in many ways. But my comment was in general terms, to the OP, not to anyone with a condition that makes sleep vital to be able to function.

That's completely different to the point I was making but perhaps that wasn't obvious from the context.

I have a condition that means I can't do certain things, but I can't take offence when someone makes a very general reference to physical capability for example. I know it wasn't aimed at me, and no one on the thread knew I had it!

I suspect many people who hate camping are also of the "shoes-off" brigade. It's a class thing

I missed this…

You're joking, right?

God I hate "precious" used as some kind of accusation or insult. It seems to me that any time someone expresses a preference, especially if that preference is for a little more comfort/convenience/ease they are described as being "precious"

God I hate "precious" used as some kind of accusation or insult

It's possible to use it without being insulting or accusatory. My comment, for example, was a mildly critical one. It's a real word, with a relevant context.

I find it infinitely less offensive than 'Princessy', but there we go.

Feels very much the same as "princessy" to me, but there you go.

Amazed at the princessy comments.

Have you decided OP? (5*hotel emoticon)

Rolls eyes

Thank you first and margaret. What I was trying to illustrate from My post was that I used to be well in my 20's and half my 30's. But I wasn't really ever able to do stuff like camp without suffering and being so tired. I remember only having a few hours sleep when I was about 18 and hallucinating shapes in bushes and being very wobbly. My friends were running around like loons. So for me, some people are tough and some people aren't. My dh is strong and my DD is just like him. I was really referring to that.

People who can miss a nights sleep don't understand that for others the consequences are quite dramatic. I was incredibly embarrassed when I went on a hen weekend and insisted that I needed a separate bedroom. I'd had my baby around 18 months before and at the same time as my friends and was ever so tired and had chronic pain but hadn't gone over the edge into full blown ME so I didn't realise that I actually really ill. My friends were very supportive of me and didn't make me feel like an entitled princess.

I think that it would be nice to take my friends lead on this one. If op says she can't hack the tiredness from camping, she really can't. Those, who can really are very very lucky.

I don't understand why people are amazed at the Princessy comments. I think the OP comes across as rather self indulgent and I think Princessy sums that up nicely

I can't get over the fact that she thinks it would be perfectly OK to stay in a hotel, and then just swan in every now and then bearing gifts. This comes across as really self absorbed and lacking in awareness/

If she doesn't want to camp, then she should stay at home, and stop making this holiday all about her.
I hope her DD and DH have a great time regardless of what she does.