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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to pull out from this nightmare camping trip?

389 replies

SparkleSoiree · 31/05/2016 15:56

So, camping is not, has never been and, now I can say, will never be my thing.

People love it, I get that. Kids and husbands I think mostly...I DONT GET IT.

We are booked to go camping with DH's cousin and his family in August. I'm more of a city break, lovely hotel person myself but DH and DD were really keen to go relive his scouting days and not wanting to be a party pooper I decided to throw myself in there too to show willing and that basically I can do anything I put my mind to. Turns out I'm more of a panderedto woman than superwoman!

We did a trial on the weekend in the garden with the new tent and kit DH bought. Seriously, it was like watching him unwrap his presents on christmas morning. His face was constantly smiling, sharing his joy with DD who loved it just as much. I offered some help occasionally but could not get into the spirit of it at all. He even put up little fairy lights around the rope thingies to add a little bit of glam for me Biscuit .

It was a disaster for me, I got the total of 1hr 5 mins kip between 11pm and 8am, was in a seriously bad mood in the morning and did not see the fun side of it at all. Seven nights I've booked myself in for and if I had to spend 7 consecutive nights with minimal sleep I'd be driving myself home by the end of day 2! I cannot function without my sleep, I get really grumpy and moody and a desire to be on my own. I certainly couldn't think about a day trip out after spending 10 mins trying to get up off a bloody airbed and that's before I've even thought about getting dressed!

I'm considering options, one of which is not going at all and allowing DH to spend the week with his family and DD. Upside is that I would get a week to myself as my other DD is away abroad at the same time.

Another is to check into a hotel close by and swing in by each morning with some lovely breakfast items for them all and spend the day with them. Upside is there will be a lovely bathroom in the hotel, just for me, a cosy bed, a bar under cover and I won't have to make my bed in the morning because some lovely person will do it for me. More my idea of relaxation.

Other option is to borrow our friend's caravan (she has offered it in my hour of need!) and add a caravan pitch to our booking. That way we have a tent and a caravan. I could cope with a caravan - I think.

Out of those I think I prefer the first one, so AIBU to pull out and spend a week on my own doing my own thing and forgetting I'm a 44yr old mum of 3, wife to 1 and taxi driver to all?

OP posts:
oldlaundbooth · 31/05/2016 16:40

If you do stay in the hotel I can guarantee you will not be alone for long.

Someone will be mithering you to let them sleep in your room, have a hot shower etc.

Goingtobeawesome · 31/05/2016 16:41

You shouldn't go as you'll spoil it for everyone else even if you try not too.

We all camped in our teepee. I lasted three hours then went in.

blitheringbuzzards1234 · 31/05/2016 16:41

Would it be possible to give it another trial run in the garden? Perhaps the first time you didn't get the bedding right. From experience I can say that this makes all the difference to a good nights sleep. If after the 2nd try you really feel that it's still not for you then I'd ask hubby if he minded if you stayed at home. Then you can have relaxing 'me' time.

On the other hand there are some campsites which have the choice of cabins as well as pitches for tents. If you could afford this, providing there are vacancies you might find this a more comfortable alternative.

sianihedgehog · 31/05/2016 16:41

Ask them which they would rather. If I were them I think I would rather you didn't come at all than that you stayed in a hotel or caravan - shared hardship is a bonding thing, and you'd be pointedly excluding yourself. It would ruin the vibe for everyone.

oldlaundbooth · 31/05/2016 16:42

I myself do enjoy camping, but 7 nights is too much. What if it rains? You will be utterly screwed. It all depends on sleep and the weather.

Even two nights camping in fine, sunny weather, after sleeping well you are ready for a proper bed and a good shower.

SuffolkNWhat · 31/05/2016 16:43

I don't camp. Ever.

Stay at home and enjoy the quiet!

Sparklingbrook · 31/05/2016 16:43

'shared hardship' doesn't sound like a fun holiday. Grin

SparkleSoiree · 31/05/2016 16:44

Interesting responses!

BertrandRussell Have no fear, we have that angle strongly covered in our home already! The airbed is a double height, self-inflating, flocked double. I keep falling into the middle though or off the edge! DH suggested separate camp beds as a potential solution and he is looking into that just now. I really need my space in bed, not particularly tactile whilst sleeping so can't save space that way either!

dowhatnow DH would be disappointed if I wasn't there. DD wouldn't care as long as she was with her Dad!

ChicRock DH will respect what I decide but I know he would be disappointed if I didn't go. Love the 'special snowflake' reference by the way! Grin

DeliveredBy Kiki That could be an option if I added it....no reason why I couldn't.

What does make me feel guilty and off is the fact that DH is taking me to the caribbean later in the year to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. He asked me where I would like to go, I told him and he booked it. Is there an obligation on me morally to attend this holiday because of that?

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 31/05/2016 16:44

I wouldn't go.

Hotel sounds lovely, caravan less so to me, but I think using either of these options might make you look a bit entitled/silly to the rest of the group.

AugustaFinkNottle · 31/05/2016 16:45

I'm with you, tried camping once, never again. There have been a couple of occasions subsequently when I've been asked on a camping trip and I just said very firmly I'd be in the nearest B&B, which worked fine. However, that was with friends rather than family.

oldlaundbooth · 31/05/2016 16:46

No moral obligation OP.

'I'm a 44yr old mum of 3, wife to 1 and taxi driver to all'

Whattheduck · 31/05/2016 16:46

Camping would be my idea of hell.friends always tell me how much fun it is etc etc.i just think the whole thing from start to finish would make me miserable.
However i love a nice caravan.we use a friends static caravan and its beautiful.
The caravan option might work would you need to tow it though ?

purplebud · 31/05/2016 16:47

No. No obligation to go anywhere you really don't want to. DH has been wanting to go somewhere for years that I really don't want to and I don't feel guilty. Holidays are supposed to be more fun than being at home.

Dotty342kids · 31/05/2016 16:52

OP, I love camping though am a bit of a fairweather camper - May to Sept only Smile. Having said that I always sleep terribly the first couple of nights. After that though, I'm so tired I could sleep no matter what!

Definitely try again with different bedding. I think my DH and I tried a double airbed the first time, and never again! Now we all have a variety of beds with me and DD on single airbeds, DH on an army style camp bed and DS on a camping mat. Last year I went with DS to a festival and as I couldn't take my blow up bed, I improvised with my thick foam pilates mat with a thick blanket folded on top of of, then a double duvet wrapped underneath and on top of me. Snug as a bug in a rug!
Give it one more try with different bedding and if you still hate it, then try at least one or two nights on holiday with them and the rest as near as you can. There's something very special about sitting outside, watching the sun go down with a nice glass of something, then snuggling up with your loved ones in a tent together. We've been camping with our kids since they were 3 and 5, they're now 11 & 13 and it's some of the best holidays and memories we've got together. Plus of course, everyone has to disconnect from their various gadgets for a few days which is priceless Grin

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 31/05/2016 16:53

This is why Children belong to uniform groups, surely? I had got camping well outbid my system by about 16 ...

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 31/05/2016 16:53

Don't go if you're going to spoil it for the rest of them, just stay at home. Going in a hotel would be really divisive. Personally I'd camp rather than stay in a hotel any time, I love it, I don't usually sleep well the first night but after that it's fine.

I don't like the implication that it's mainly kids and husbands that like it, as if it's not for women, certainly not true in camping families I know and does make you seem a tad unreasonable. Even though you are not unreasonable to not like it yourself.

Frazzled2207 · 31/05/2016 16:56

I can manage two nights' camping in good weather only.
Send dh and dd.I cannot wait until my dcs are old enough to go away camping with dh and leave me in peace.

CoolforKittyCats · 31/05/2016 16:56

I also don't really think you should go in a hotel. It seems a bit like you're rewarding yourself for being difficult and pwincessy

This

OrangesandLemonsNow · 31/05/2016 16:58

What does make me feel guilty and off is the fact that DH is taking me to the caribbean later in the year to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. He asked me where I would like to go, I told him and he booked it. Is there an obligation on me morally to attend this holiday because of that?

I guess that depends on whether he actually wants to go to the Caribbean or only booked it and is going because it is something you really want to do.

Thurlow · 31/05/2016 16:59

I'd go with the caravan option.

TheoriginalLEM · 31/05/2016 16:59

id rather stick a fork in my eye than camp in my back garden but now think about.

get a camp bed! im not designed to sleep on the! floor. Take pillows - the most important bit of kit.

Camp fire = a little bit of heaven.

camp fire with steak cooked on it washed down with wine from a plastic beaker - even more heaven.

Listening to wildlife when you can't sleep on the first night. prepare to laze about on the second day and trust me you'll sleep like a log the second night. make sure you have decent sleeping bags.

i cannot tell you how much i love camping. but for us its a choice between camping or no holiday. I love the countryside and can't abise loads of people so we select small campsites that allow camp fires and discourage large groups.

The kids will LOVE it and entertain themselves while you relax.

Give it two nights and if after that you hate it then do the hotel.

you might love it!

LunaLoveg00d · 31/05/2016 17:00

so AIBU to pull out and spend a week on my own doing my own thing and forgetting I'm a 44yr old mum of 3, wife to 1 and taxi driver to all

As a fellow 44 year old mother of three I think you are being entirely reasonable to have a week of peace and quiet at home on your own. Sounds like absolute BLISS.

ample · 31/05/2016 17:01

Don't go. Why would you when you aren't a happy camper? Not even for the love of my child would I go Grin
To me it's not something a person can be turned around on, that is if you really dislike it like I do

You have two options (apart from stockpiling wine and sleeping pills)
Dad & kids fab time camping vs miserable you
or
Dad & kids fab time camping vs happy you, at home

Paperkins · 31/05/2016 17:01

ear plugs and a decent eye mask are essential for sleep.

Junosmum · 31/05/2016 17:03

I LOVE LOVE LOVE camping and even sleep better in a tent. but I appreciate not everyone loves it weirdos

If it's going to make you miserable and grumpy then that isn't a holiday for anyone. Book the hotel.

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