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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to pull out from this nightmare camping trip?

389 replies

SparkleSoiree · 31/05/2016 15:56

So, camping is not, has never been and, now I can say, will never be my thing.

People love it, I get that. Kids and husbands I think mostly...I DONT GET IT.

We are booked to go camping with DH's cousin and his family in August. I'm more of a city break, lovely hotel person myself but DH and DD were really keen to go relive his scouting days and not wanting to be a party pooper I decided to throw myself in there too to show willing and that basically I can do anything I put my mind to. Turns out I'm more of a panderedto woman than superwoman!

We did a trial on the weekend in the garden with the new tent and kit DH bought. Seriously, it was like watching him unwrap his presents on christmas morning. His face was constantly smiling, sharing his joy with DD who loved it just as much. I offered some help occasionally but could not get into the spirit of it at all. He even put up little fairy lights around the rope thingies to add a little bit of glam for me Biscuit .

It was a disaster for me, I got the total of 1hr 5 mins kip between 11pm and 8am, was in a seriously bad mood in the morning and did not see the fun side of it at all. Seven nights I've booked myself in for and if I had to spend 7 consecutive nights with minimal sleep I'd be driving myself home by the end of day 2! I cannot function without my sleep, I get really grumpy and moody and a desire to be on my own. I certainly couldn't think about a day trip out after spending 10 mins trying to get up off a bloody airbed and that's before I've even thought about getting dressed!

I'm considering options, one of which is not going at all and allowing DH to spend the week with his family and DD. Upside is that I would get a week to myself as my other DD is away abroad at the same time.

Another is to check into a hotel close by and swing in by each morning with some lovely breakfast items for them all and spend the day with them. Upside is there will be a lovely bathroom in the hotel, just for me, a cosy bed, a bar under cover and I won't have to make my bed in the morning because some lovely person will do it for me. More my idea of relaxation.

Other option is to borrow our friend's caravan (she has offered it in my hour of need!) and add a caravan pitch to our booking. That way we have a tent and a caravan. I could cope with a caravan - I think.

Out of those I think I prefer the first one, so AIBU to pull out and spend a week on my own doing my own thing and forgetting I'm a 44yr old mum of 3, wife to 1 and taxi driver to all?

OP posts:
SparkleSoiree · 01/06/2016 16:05

Wow! Self-indulgent and lacking awareness? Surely not? I think I'm showing much awareness by considering how my lack of sleep will affect the others in the group. The most self-indulgent I've been is to create this thread to discuss it at length because I wanted a spectrum of opinions from others.

I love spending time with my husband and kids, they make me laugh no end and I feel connected in a way I don't with my friends. It helps me enjoy my time on holiday with them. Because of that I really don't want to miss out on this time with them. I love the idea of a week to myself but after 24hrs I would be missing them like crazy.

If I'm princessy then I'm princessy. I know what I like, I know the standard of accommodation I would usually stay in and always research before I book anywhere. To me a holiday or break should be relaxing, enjoyable, interesting and fun. Anything that resembles hard work, disappointment, stress, poor customer service, crap food, uncomfortable beds, dirty bathrooms or poorly maintained premises all contribute towards a negative experience. Just a thought though, everybody has standards that they live by and at what level do you decide 'princessy' above know what makes you happy?

Spoke to DH about the caravan and we won't get an additional pitch now as it's so close to going. Ok, strike that one out.

As mentioned, staying on my own for a week could easily be filled up but I would miss him and DD so strike that one out too. DH accepts that it's an option but would love me to come.

The hotel, believe it or not, has become an option again!

However, the current favourite option (remembering that lack of sleep is my problem here) is to check out the suggested links to camp beds with mattress toppers, pillows, duvet (with a little pea right at the bottom of it all Wink ) Should that not suffice then it will be required nights in a hotel near by with me coming by each morning with some fresh breakfast for them all. I don't think you would look at me and think of a swan but if 'swanning in' is how it's viewed then I'm ok with that. Grin

Earlier I asked DD what she was looking forward to most about the trip and she replied "I'm excited about watching the tent go up, I'm excited about running around and playing with my cousin, I'm excited about watching Dad get frustrated putting his tripod bar-b-q together but most of all I'm excited about having you and Dad to myself for a whole week!" Love her so much!

So, there we have it, super dooper camp bed with a variety of bedding so I can sleep like a Queen!

OP posts:
Sprink · 01/06/2016 16:08

So, there we have it, super dooper camp bed with a variety of bedding so I can sleep like a Queen

Sounds great. Don't forget the fairy lights. Wink

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 01/06/2016 16:08

Fair do's to you OP for giving it a whirl.

Camp bed and bedding still wouldn't get me inside a tent.

Please report back with how it goes Grin.

SparkleSoiree · 01/06/2016 16:23

StillStayingClassySanDiego I think you are interested in whether I manage the bed or not.....I'm hopeful hence the hotel backup! But will of course report back!

Sprink wouldn't be the same without the fairy lights Grin

OP posts:
Topseyt · 01/06/2016 16:40

Yes, First. All of those comments have been made during the thread.

Musicaltheatremum · 01/06/2016 16:47

I camped as a guide, hated it, then in the back garden and came in at 4am. Then 2 years ago on the Inca trail. Horrendous. Sleeping on slopes and it was below freezing one night (though I wasn't cold) I slep better as the nights went on. Never ever again. Booked in 4 stars all the way from now on. Have fun OP.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 01/06/2016 16:51

Yes, First. All of those comments have been made during the thread

By whom? All the princess/precious comments are about staying in a hotel as far as I can see.

Well done OP, by the way! Hope you enjoy it Grin

Lottielo · 01/06/2016 17:06

DH and I vowed never to camp, but a couple of years ago I decided we should give it a try (mainly because it is so much cheaper).

So, we first went camping when I was 49 and DH was 53, with 3 DCs aged 9, 14 and 16. DH took a lot of persuading, but we all loved it!

Here is what it makes it good for us:

Electricity - kettle, heater, remoska

Large inflatable tent with 'lights out' inners (I get woken easily when it's light) and good head height (220cm)

Good campsite with lots of space between tents and spotless bathrooms

Portable urinal for night time

Thick self inflating mat with two duvets (one to sleep on top of)

Wifi

Ear plugs and blindfold

I also camped in my back garden before trying camping for the first time and I absolutely hated it. But when I went camping, it was completely different and I managed 10 days!

Think you should give it a go and if it doesn't suit you, bail out to the hotel!

Realitea · 01/06/2016 17:40

Hotel sounds very appealing but might make you come across as a bit awkward depending on how easy going everyone else is.
Otherwise, I'd take the caravan. Staying in a caravan is so cosy, I love it!

Maireadplastic · 01/06/2016 18:08

I'm not a natural camper but went with other families who are very experienced and have every conceivable gadget to make it easier. We had fantastic weather which meant we had a fantastic time.

MiniMum97 · 01/06/2016 18:10

I camp. It can be good and it can be a nightmare! If it's raining all week, you may wish you were in your hotel, I can't lie.
Tips:

  • Wine/fresh air - helps you sleep - I have awful insomnia but always sleep really well after first night of camping
  • Get one of these: www.cascadedesigns.com/therm-a-rest/mattresses/camp-and-comfort/neoair-dream/product I can't sleep on an airbed - they are really uncomfortable and deflate in the night. As I've got older can't do sleeping on hard surfaces anymore, so this was a revelation. It is more comfy than my mattress and they are single, so no roll together.
  • If you wake up early due to hot tent syndrome, open all your tent flaps (oo-er) and lie on blankets in the shade to snooze...lovely!
  • Get a big tent with somewhere to sit if it rains - and take camping chairs
  • Hot water bottle for cold nights - if you get cold you will NEVER warm up...hot water bottle totally sorts it out.
  • Take plenty of blankets for evening, night-time and laying around on.
  • Take marshmallows for evening campfire....kids will love it!
Have fun!
MiniMum97 · 01/06/2016 18:13

ooo - and definitely pillows and duvet if you can fit them in - Or buy a sleeping bag you can curl up in like this....www.gooutdoors.co.uk/hi-gear-snoozzz-sleeping-pod-p286207?gclid=CMjK8sCph80CFYidGwodkBAOcA&gclsrc=aw.ds, not one of those mummy ones, they are rubbish.
And take a sheet for your mattress, takes up no room and makes big difference to comfort.

Ladyrattlesuk · 01/06/2016 18:20

I also can't sleep in a tent. I just end up like a grumpy zombie and can go several days with no sleep at all. Last time I took a kindle and lots of headache tablets which helped, but I like your idea of staying in a b&b near the campsite.

TheNorthRemembers · 01/06/2016 18:20

Sparkle you have my sympathy. Well done for looking for a solution in advance. (I am so grateful DH hates camping just as much as I do.)

I hope you will have a fab time with your family!

DayOfMaypoles · 01/06/2016 18:44

I do think you're being a bit silly and OTT about the level of discomfort. It's camping at a UK campsite, not a month ski-touring a glacier. Can't you suck it up for a week, as your DD and DH are so excited? I think you'll ruin their holiday if you stay in a hotel. You're clearly giving her the message a tent isn't good enough for you and you can't cope with a bit of damp and rain. What sort of example does that set?

Camping can be cold, wet, miserable and boring I agree. But when you do it as a family it can be amazing fun and a real bonding experience. You work as a team to get the tent up and the meals cooked, you sit around a fire/stove talking, you watch the bats come out, you share the discomforts with each other. You hear all the night sounds and the birds in the morning. You are all in it together. IME kids love it because they get to spend time with their parents, away from the 'real' world. You forget about straightening your hair and playing with your phone for a week. You have time to focus on each other without all the usual distractions and materialism that we're accustomed to. Uncomfortable as it is, camping humbles me. It reminds me how lucky I am to have all the things I normally take for granted (heating, a comfortable bed, electricity, carpets, a full night's sleep, nice meals etc). It's a very Western concept that we 'need' these things in order to be happy. It saddens me that you would prioritise these things over an experience with your family.

I think, since you agreed to the trip and helped buy the tent, you should go. It's only for a week. As I said before, the right kit (and sleeping pills) make the experience more pleasant for me.

Being a family is about mucking in and not always putting your own 'needs' first.

Dowser · 01/06/2016 18:47

I'm with you op . I only do camping in our tourer where we ripped out all the crappy beds and put a proper double divan in. We have an electric blanket ( lovely when we go away in march and October ) . I have a socket next to the bed for my iPad and the 3 g wifi is very good.
We have a full size oven and fridge,loads of kitchen storage and a normal sized sink. We have a tv and fire and central heating.
We have a good sized bathroom too.

Dowser · 01/06/2016 19:06

All this is great maypoles on 8 hours sleep a night.

On an hour and a half it's just drudgery.

Heck I have trouble getting 7 hours in my lovely comfy bed and can be like a zombie on the 4 hours I often get.

Nothing is fun when you're sleep deprived
Better to acknowledge that and not ruin it for everyone else.

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn · 01/06/2016 19:50

You could give the biggest most comfy bed in the world made of gold and encrusted with diamonds, if it was in a tent on a campsite I still wouldn't go in it. Grin Thankfully DH likes camping almost as much as I do!

Please keep us updated on your hotel stay camping trip.

Sallystyle · 01/06/2016 19:52

The first time we went we walked to Kelling Heath every day so we could use their facilities. Nice toilets, a pub and restaurants.

The bonfire at night was lovely. It was the only saving grace really.

The kids want to go again.. shame I can't find anyone to look after my pets so I will need to stay at home Grin

I would go again if I was guaranteed hot weather and a pitch near the toilets so I don't have to walk far in the dark and the toilets are in pristine condition.

KERALA1 · 01/06/2016 20:02

Hmm we manage to have lovely family holidays and focus on each other without camping thank you very much.

There are a lot of pious campers around I find who rather look down on anyone who doesn't enjoy camping as a princessy, tv addicted materialist type. The fact I have done lots of camping in the past but now choose not to confuses them. Know a few in real life and rather evident in this thread - see maypoles above...

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 01/06/2016 20:10

Maypole please don't imply that by not wanting to camp makes us who choose not to less 'family oriented ' .

I don't want to cope with damp and rain then be cold and I'd be a fool to put up with it.

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus · 01/06/2016 20:22

Portable urinals do not make camping sound more appealing...

Aeroflotgirl · 01/06/2016 20:29

Camping still no thank you, but Dowsers camper van sounds fantastic.

BertrandRussell · 01/06/2016 20:35

"Portable urinals do not make camping sound more appealing"

My favourite post yet!