AIBU to pull out from this nightmare camping trip?

[SparkleSoiree]

So, camping is not, has never been and, now I can say, will never be my thing.

People love it, I get that. Kids and husbands I think mostly...I DONT GET IT.

We are booked to go camping with DH's cousin and his family in August. I'm more of a city break, lovely hotel person myself but DH and DD were really keen to go relive his scouting days and not wanting to be a party pooper I decided to throw myself in there too to show willing and that basically I can do anything I put my mind to. Turns out I'm more of a panderedto woman than superwoman!

We did a trial on the weekend in the garden with the new tent and kit DH bought. Seriously, it was like watching him unwrap his presents on christmas morning. His face was constantly smiling, sharing his joy with DD who loved it just as much. I offered some help occasionally but could not get into the spirit of it at all. He even put up little fairy lights around the rope thingies to add a little bit of glam for me .

It was a disaster for me, I got the total of 1hr 5 mins kip between 11pm and 8am, was in a seriously bad mood in the morning and did not see the fun side of it at all. Seven nights I've booked myself in for and if I had to spend 7 consecutive nights with minimal sleep I'd be driving myself home by the end of day 2! I cannot function without my sleep, I get really grumpy and moody and a desire to be on my own. I certainly couldn't think about a day trip out after spending 10 mins trying to get up off a bloody airbed and that's before I've even thought about getting dressed!

I'm considering options, one of which is not going at all and allowing DH to spend the week with his family and DD. Upside is that I would get a week to myself as my other DD is away abroad at the same time.

Another is to check into a hotel close by and swing in by each morning with some lovely breakfast items for them all and spend the day with them. Upside is there will be a lovely bathroom in the hotel, just for me, a cosy bed, a bar under cover and I won't have to make my bed in the morning because some lovely person will do it for me. More my idea of relaxation.

Other option is to borrow our friend's caravan (she has offered it in my hour of need!) and add a caravan pitch to our booking. That way we have a tent and a caravan. I could cope with a caravan - I think.

Out of those I think I prefer the first one, so AIBU to pull out and spend a week on my own doing my own thing and forgetting I'm a 44yr old mum of 3, wife to 1 and taxi driver to all?

A Dfriend always quotes 'anything less than 3 star is like camping to me!' accompanied with a hoity swish of her hair. I completely agree

It's a braver person than I that enjoys it!

RE the class thing.
My DH made an observation lately (we camp alot). When we are abroad he said all the English camper drive expensive cars and are very middle class. When we are in this country, they are mostly rough as fuck.

My husbands words...

p.s. If you don't like camping, don't go. You are not going to suddenly enjoy it. But - do think of renting a caravan on site or looking into hiring a camper van?

Shame there's no chance of getting a caravan pitch - that seemed like the ideal solution.

We tried camping as a family. I hated it. It stunk marginally less when we had our own single framed camp beds rather than the double air bed and decent sleeping bags, also when I bought travel johns to wee into ( DH has funny ideas about a pee bucket and camping is rubbish enough without having to pull on wellies and a coat in the middle of the night).

But even at all that I still hated it. Simply cannot sleep, then when you do drift off finally morning sun streams through tent at 5 am.
Have princessy and capitalist objection to taking 30 minutes to boil water for a mug of coffee in the morning, then 2 hours to fry some sausages. As a working mother I spend quite a lot of time suppressing my own wants for the best of the family, ain't going to do it on holiday with zero snooze.

Having said that in your circumstances I'd do a couple of nights camping if that was possible then escape for the rest of the week, or a couple of nights in the hotel. It sounds a bit odd for you to be in the hotel whilst they camp for the whole week - and that's from someone who hates camping.

I am a Princess too. I get by with 1. Piriton ( makes me drowsy) and 2. Lots of soft stuff under me.

Why not compromise?

Day 1 - Camp.

Day 2 and 3 Hotel

Day 4. Camp

Day 5 and 6 hotel.

Day 7 camp.

Then home.

You will only have to get through 2 days without having had much sleep but with hotel luxury to look forward to.

Maypole you yourself say you find it cold, wet, miserable and uncomfortable and that you need sleeping pills to get through it. It's supposed to be a holiday

Just don't go. The hotel option will make you look silly, and you'll make the others feel guilty and that they have to pander to some high-maintenance woman instead of just enjoying themselves. You'll have a much better time if you're upfront and grab that lovely week to do what you want, when you want.

DayOfMaypoles silly you may view me but you would change your mind after seeing me sleep deprived two or three days on the trot. In no way, at all, am I giving my daughter the message that a tent is not good enough for me. If I can't sleep in it then I have to meet my own needs in other ways. When you break it down, away from your generalisation, it's my ability to sleep that's the issue not my ability to plug in my hair straighteners, my mobile phone or any other modern convenience. I don't see why I should sacrifice my necessary rest for the joy of others, family or not.

Being a family is about mucking in and not always putting your own 'needs' first.

Are you preaching to me about this or other readers of the thread? Our youngest is autistic and the last eight years of my life have been about putting my needs last. This is why my holiday time is so important to me and that I get good rest. Otherwise I will be exhausted on return home and resentful that everyone else had a great time except me, who will be the one picking up the gauntlet with our normal routine again.

Why is there this notion that a member of a family should 'suck it up' for everyone else's enjoyment? I don't expect members of my family to 'suck it up' for my enjoyment.

Don't do it. In my 46 years I've spent 2 nights in a tent. My husband and sons love camping and often camp at a site in the countryside close to home so that I can walk there through the woods with the dog, enjoy a barbecue and then go home to my warm cosy bed and my own bathroom. One sunny weekend a couple of years ago though I was persuaded to stay the night rather than go home and I did actually quite enjoy it, so much so that the following year I stayed again, just for a night but with the possibility of staying for another.
Never again. Never ever again. Ever.
The weather was dreadful and I hardly slept because I was so bloody cold. I hate all of the effort involved in doing something as simple as making a cuppa. Just sitting there at night in semi-darkness, listening to a crackly battery powered radio, no phone signal or wifi, bored stupid and cold and shivering while my husband sits there grinning because he loves camping so much and apparantly all of that's all part of the experience. Fuck off.

I did once stay in a lovely hotel in Edinburgh while they camped one cold May bank holiday. We met up during the day and then went our separate ways at night.

Bedding is key, be a princess with all it takes, a proper base and then super warm down duvets and extra blankets.
Drink plenty of red wine, you'll sleep fine
best advice tho is to camp off the ground, we have a camper van - you avoid the dampness of sleeping on the ground.
Oh and 3/4 night max camping in the UK, unless we have a heatwave, its truly hard work otherwise and i love to feel warm.. I've camped loads but drove home in the middle of the night as was so freezing - sod that for a laugh!

Oh I love camping, so I'm a bit biased! But having someone on our camping trips who doesn't want to be there or who winges about cold, damp, hard work of doing the washing up, no phone reception, no where to plug in hair straightners etc. the whole time is no fun to be around and better if they just went home and let everyone else enjoy themselves!

So I'd say stay at home (if your DH is happy with that idea) or take the caravan if you need to be there to help out with kids. DON'T stay at a hotel nearby. You'll just wind everyone else up with your smugness. The whole point of camping (IMO) is to disconnect with the real world for a while and only wash when can smell yourself, look like been dragged through a hedge backwards - but just not care, wear all the clothes you wear to keep warm if necessary and ensure 50% of your diet is toasted marshmallows the other half wine and crisps!

Just drink wine! If you drink enough wine you'll sleep! Also ear plugs! You'll find (because they are loud and merry) the majority of people who eventually sleep well have had plenty of booze and noisy merriment before sleeping!
Join in the party and you'll be fine!

Plus lower your hygiene standards (& shower timings) for a few days and all will be ok!
Aim to tie hair up and have a flick round with a baby wipe (or several) when you get up in the morning & then go for a shower sometime in the evening.

Stop the press:

What's with the lowering of the hygiene standards? Not washing until you can smell yourself?!?!

'Just drink wine! If you drink enough wine you'll sleep! '

No, you'll piss all night, sleep poorly and wake up with the larks hungover.

Honestly, just stay home and send them. Camping is a love it or hate it thing. You hate it.

You don't have to like everything everyone else in the family does.

For me the key to happy camping is a really good sleeping set-up - it's the difference between a great fun holiday (even in awful weather) and bloody misery.

We take a thermarest each and push them together. On top of those is a nice blanket topped with a double sheet to hold the base together. Proper pillows and a duvet complete the bed. A good top blanket is an optional extra. As long as you keep the damp out of your tent, you will be warm and cosy in your womb-like shelter.

Also, make a thermos of tea / coffee last thing at night so that you can have your morning brew in bed. Makes a difference!

Failing all that, get drunk enough to sleep through anything...

Good luck.

No need to lower hygiene standards, just shower in the morning as you would at home. Leave the hairdryer and make-up behind though, that's all part of the holiday for me.

I agree totally with Expat about the wine, just have one glass and then you'll sleep through the night, not have to get up at the crack of dawn to go for a wee and feel fresh as a daisy when you do get up.

I don't blame you for hating it. I would too. I actually think you would be better off not going at all. if you stay in a hotel at night and turn up every morning you might be like the only day student at a boarding school, missing out on all the night time fun and frolics and feeling like a spare part while you are there. Much better for you to have some luxurious me time at home and allow them their father-daughter bonding

If you really will miss them too much to be separated for a week perhaps turn up for a day visit in the middle of the week. Come laden down with treats and goodies, allow DD to show you around and take away any dirty washing when You will be like the queen visiting the down trodden masses.

My dh takes our ds's each year they love daddy time cause in their words mummy is very grumpy when we go camping, I spent too many weekends in a damp tent doing d of e at school, no matter how much I love my family it's better for their sanity that I'm not there !£'

Ok, panic over about the hygiene! I'm quite happy with no makeup - would take more than makeup to improve my outer beauty, I tell you!

I'm not as big a wine drinker as I used to be. Think it's my age....

I wouldn't go. Camping is my idea of hell on earth.

Your DH can't say you didn't give it go. You did, and didn't like it.

I love camping, but I do get where you're coming from OP - I never once camped until dh persuaded me to try it age 38. I'd always assumed I'd feel like you do about it, but I unexpectedly loved it! I do have to take quite a lot of stuff though, and won't camp anywhere that doesn't have proper toilets and hot showers. I agree with a previous poster that drinking a lot while camping (or any time actually ) is not the way to get a good night's sleep!

Sounds like you are getting close to a solution re sleeping, OP. Lots of good advice and suggestions - my two penn'orth is to throw as much ££ at bed luxury as you can afford.

I don't love camping any more - spent years as a guide, venture scout and have DOE Gold but it's worn thin as I've got older and less able to sleep - probably as I'm not hiking 25km with a tent on my back for four days...

The woman I just sold my tent to thought I was bonkers when I said i wasn't upgrading or replacing it. I think I've had enough of camping for a lifetime. So I can see where you are coming from, wanting to enjoy the fun on the site but sleep well, not walk outside to the bog in the night/ever and have warmth and dryness for you and your clothes and bedding! (Hear hear to whoever said about it taking a bloody age to even make a cuppa when camping!)

Have a lovely week, whatever way you and your family spend it - I don't think you are a princess or a swan! Just sensible and realistic about what you will tolerate/ enjoy and what will ruin it for you and by extension your family.

Sparkle Lowering hygiene standards is a killer. I once went camping with friends in a beautiful and remote part of Eastern Europe. I loved my friends and the scenery, but hated every minute of camping with a passion. It was my 21st birthday and they asked me what I wanted. I said I wanted to wash my hair, please. That is all. I was that desperate. (I am not even a proper princess.) In the end we stayed a few nights at a vicars' house and we literally broke his hairdryer with overuse.

I can't bear camping so I would absolutely be going for the hotel idea (though I'd make sure I called it a "B&B" rather than a "hotel" so it didn't sound like you were living a life of luxury with bubble baths and a minibar while they're playing Bear Grylls )

I love reading all your camping stories - they do make me chuckle!

I wouldn't say that's unreasonable, if you don't enjoy it, theres not much point and a week to yourself sounds awesome!!

I camp a fair bit, we don't drive so have to carry all the kit too, which is pretty tough.

Sometimes its great, if the weathers with you and you find a good site, with minimal shouty people and nice showers, sometimes its awful, shouty people, cold showers no sleep and your tent leaks.

Mostly though, we camp because we don't have enough money to stay in hotels, and the kids do love it.

Saying that, we did the camping pod/shed with beds things one year and that was a nice change... might be a suitable compromise.