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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think everyone must have the odd Dark Day as a parent?

151 replies

NapQueen · 29/05/2016 19:11

It can't all be roses in the garden every day can it?

I've had one of those days today. Compounded by the fact that DS had me up from 5am; I'm due on; dd 4 has been rather trying.

I even had a little cry in the bathroom earlier. Dh is amazing. Hands on, total equal parent. I imagine if he wasn't I'd have many more of these days.

I just feel so miserable and tense today. And a bit vommy. I need my bed I think but similarly I need the time after bedtime to relax alone in the bath.

Everyone has days like this surely? Or am I just not really cut out for motherhood?

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 29/05/2016 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheWindInThePillows · 29/05/2016 19:14

Absolutely. A day where you really really wish you could replay time and handle it all better and not be shouty and have lost it and so on.

I've found there are fewer of these as my children get older, there's something about exhaustion plus the defiance of a little child which is particularly provoking.

MrsSpecter · 29/05/2016 19:14

Anyone who says the dont is a liar. We all have them.

Buggers · 29/05/2016 19:15

Everyone has days like this and if they say they don't then their lying Wink

icanteven · 29/05/2016 19:15

Sounds completely normal. More than the "odd" day, I'd imagine!

If you're feeling a bit vommy, a glass of wine probably won't help, but a lovely peaceful bath with the lights really low would be really nice. I like it when DH comes and chats to me when I'm in the bath. Then he's also on hand to bring me a cup of tea, tell me entertaining stories and pass my my towel when I'm done. :)

Needmorewine · 29/05/2016 19:15

I'm glad it's not just me Sad I'm so not the parent I wanted to be.

RubbishG3nericUsername · 29/05/2016 19:17

DD is 8 months old, had one of those 'days' on Friday! Same as you DH is wonderful, totally hands on and props me up when I need it. YANBU- it happens to us all (although some of mums I know wouldn't readily admit to this). Glass of wine, nice bath, some 'me' time and I promise tomorrow will be a different day xx

MillieMoodle · 29/05/2016 19:18

I'm with you today. Flowers

Have got a streaming cold and a banging headache, and am 26 weeks pregnant so can't really take anything to ease the symptoms. Feel exhausted. DS has been good today but will not stop talking, even for a second. I just need some peace and quiet to get better. I'm fed up of being ill every bank holiday or every time we get some time off together as a family. I'm going to have an ice lolly and then go to bed. DH has said he'll do DS's bedtime because I just don't have the energy or the patience today (which makes me feel like a bad mum, but I just feel crappy).

It's ok to have a cry about nothing in particular every now and then too!

QueenLaBeefah · 29/05/2016 19:21

I'm with you on this.

DH is absolutely brilliant as well.

DramaAlpaca · 29/05/2016 19:23

We all have bad parenting days. I still do sometimes & the DC I have left at home are 18 & 22!

When I had three under 5 a good day was when nobody cried, including me.

Niggit · 29/05/2016 19:25

Oh, goodness - as other posters have said, anybody who says they never feel like this is lying through their teeth. I can remember my DH getting home from work and being greeted by myself at the front door, coat and shoes on and purse in hand, thrusting DS into his arms and running - RUNNING - to the car to go and do the weekly shop. I was so desperate for a break 90 minutes in Tesco felt like a treat! And DS wasn't even that difficult... Blush
Have your bath. Shut the door and have some you time. Tomorrow is another day.

StillMedusa · 29/05/2016 19:27

I had four under 6... and on some days my mantra was 'All fed, nobody died'... because that was about as good as it got Grin

All are now happy, healthy young adults, but there were a lot of tough days.
It will pass :)

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 29/05/2016 19:28

An acquaintance told me recently that being on maternity leave is like having Christmas Day every day and that her days are filled with kisses, cuddles and laughter Hmm

I drank a whole bottle of wine in about two hours that evening and went to bed at 9. The next day was very long...Blush

Milwoes · 29/05/2016 19:28

Dd is screaming her head off in her cot; nothing I do is any good so I've given up trying. Sitting here eating a whole box of delicious choc truffles and fantasising about smoking a big fat spliff. Being a parent is hard bloody work, I guess that's why it's so rewarding! WineChocolateCakeFlowers

Mumberjack · 29/05/2016 19:29

The other day I sprinted out the back door to the utility room simply to shout 'for Fucks sake!' then sprinted back into the house. You are not alone Flowers

Mumberjack · 29/05/2016 19:30

And Giveme the 'mat leave Xmas day' person was lying

NotYoda · 29/05/2016 19:31

Of course we do, especially when they are babies/toddlers. Days when you can't wait until they go to bed and then you look at them sleeping and feel like a heel for having negative thoughts about them.

If you feel regularly overwhelmed, angry, tearful, shout or resort to hitting, then you need to talk to someone.

blondiebonce · 29/05/2016 19:32

DD is nearly 2 and I have these every other day. Ex P was useless and now only sees her when I'm at work. Chocolate is my crutch.
Don't feel bad for this- it's completely natural! Be kind to yourself :)

Original poster
NapQueen · 29/05/2016 19:35

Thank fuck for that.

I'm shovelling pistachios down my throat as I prep lunch for tomorrow (out all day so taking food with us), but I've unearthed a box of lindt chocolate balls which will go nicely with my bath. No wine left in so it'll have to be a G&T.

Nah they aren't regular NotYoda - though invariably most days I mutter to myself "who bloody has kids?". But today was just not enjoyable at all. I've not even particularly shouted much or faced much defiance - I just feel like they just don't stop. It's relentless. Or it was today.

Both in bed now. Phew.

OP posts:
HoldTheDoorHodor · 29/05/2016 19:36

Oh yes. Been there. I think anyone says they haven't is either:

  1. lying

Or

  1. the exception to the rule
NotYoda · 29/05/2016 19:38

I wanted to say that "regular" isn't the word I meant; I meant prolonged, with no relief

Relentless is exactly the word for it when they are little. Mundane as well.

But also nice, and funny, and cuddly

DH misses the early stuff 9mine are teens). Although I look back and remember how sweet they were, I do not miss it one bit

NotYoda · 29/05/2016 19:40

I also think that sleep deprivation is the biggest reason for it being crappier than it needs to be (the early mornings are a killer) I look back and realise I was in quite a fug a lot of the time. That affects anyone's ability to cope with things cheerfully

ReturnOfTheJewel · 29/05/2016 19:49

It's not just you.

I've been in a fucking terrible mood all day, had a proper falling out with DH, had my implant back in on Friday so I've got a sore arm and strange hormones, DSD has been bloody hard work all day, DS is bloody hard work every day, DD is 11 weeks old and wants to be held all the time.

I'm sitting with DD on my knee, sulking at DH, about to order pizza and hibernate in bed till morning.

Enjoy your bath 💐 (I wish I had one, a shower just isn't the same on Dark Days(

Wrcgirl · 29/05/2016 19:53

Oh yeah. Sometimes it extends to a bad week. Yet I have a placid baby and a toddler, with a dad that helps with anything that needs doing. I feel like a weakling sometimes.

EquinoxBloom · 29/05/2016 20:14

On god if I have those days less than 70% of the time I'm winning.

Seriously.